Waiting, Waiting, and Waiting some more....

[catchermama]

Finding a new team is the absolute worst. Then you find one but it takes a month or 2 and a couple of tournaments to really know what it's going to be like. I hope you hear from the other teams soon.

YUP. That's where we'll be in a couple of months...finding out if we made the right move.

Tryouts seem to be quite a mess this year because the disgruntled dads/moms started forming new teams back in June. The big org. teams just returned from nationals so they can't even have tryouts until this weekend or next so everyone is waiting for those tryouts and still trying to keep doors open on other offers. It seems like it would be a better system for tryouts to ALL be held in a certain time frame, but I guess that's impossible.

Hang in there!

 

[santirx]

We went through the same thing, and were still waiting and being told, "She's a great athlete and we still are looking at her," while others were already being offered. DD decided to bow out, didn't want to feel like she wasn't a top pick. Hurt her ego a bit, but welcome to the sport. Not the first time, won't be the last. DD was also offered for several other teams - but they are 18 and she's 15. She knew that she'd be sitting. A lot.

Odds are, if your dd isn't an immediate "Yes," she'll be constantly having to prove herself - and she won't be a starter. We are coming off a very successful season as a team, with a DD who feels left behind. She didn't get what she needed from the season, and she wasn't able to produce for them like she wanted to. The result is lots of team pics with trophies, but behind the scenes we had a very frustrated kid. We are proud to have been part of the team - but our DD needs to adjust her expectations and find a home where she can do work and be a performer for them. This is how the kids gain confidence.

Unless you're confident that she will make big developmental changes in the off season, you might not be thrilled with her opportunities once the season starts - and it will likely affect your DD mentally. It sure did ours.

This season our DD chose to go with a team who really wanted her - even though they weren't quite the level that she thought she wanted. She is being a realist. It doesn't do her any good to sit the bench on a high level team. The kid wants to play and get better, so it's all about finding a team where your dd feels good about getting opportunities and being developed, IMO. The kids need to feel that they had a hand in the team's successes, and responsibility for the failures.

Sorry so long - but I feel your pain about this time of year. Good luck to you. Don't let your desire for a big name team cloud your decision about where your DD can do her best work without fear of failure.

Well said!


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[CMMom1740]

I guess I'm not a normal coach! I basically know what I'm looking for in a player, and when I see it I grab it. If I don't see it, I let them know right away. I'm not into false expectations and all the "waiting game antics" these coaches pull. If you really like what you see take it! Don't play the waiting game and give "false hope" to the player and parents. Let them move on to try another organization. Just my two cents!!!!

I think that maybe they are waiting on that theoretical better player who MIGHT show up and they don't want to commit too soon. Think about that; it's like never proposing to your significant other because something better MIGHT come along at some point. Yes, I recognize I'm seeing it through parent and not coach's eyes, but at some point, you've got to decide based upon the people you have seen vs. those who could still be out there somewhere.

 

[CMMom1740]

Well said!


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Of course, this is the fear. I don't want her to sit either, so I would say that we are trying out mostly for what I could call "A minus" teams. I have thrown in one B team with her former rec coaches who are starting a brand new TB team this year, but DD doesn't want to do that. She would be willing to try the new team for which she has an offer. If it's a disaster, we can always look around after fall season.
***Oops, I was trying to respond to me_and_my_big_mouth's post.

 

[Momo'sDad]

I guess I'm not a normal coach! I basically know what I'm looking for in a player, and when I see it I grab it. If I don't see it, I let them know right away. I'm not into false expectations and all the "waiting game antics" these coaches pull. If you really like what you see take it! Don't play the waiting game and give "false hope" to the player and parents. Let them move on to try another organization. Just my two cents!!!!

Truth. If a coach wants a player, the offer will come quickly. I'm not at all a fan of coaches taking players they don't really want.

And as parents, it's ok to be frank with the kids: "You're not the player that coach is looking for right now, but maybe you will be in the future. What other teams are you interested in?"

 

[Strike]

It's funny that the team that my DD had as her first choice had 27 girls tryout with only 3 girls from that team last year also trying out (the rest aged up). The coach said she would be calling with offers by Tuesday and kept her word. Of those 30 she offered 8 by Tues and scheduled a second tryout. She asked 3 of those from the previous tryout if they would come to a second and notified the rest thanking them for their time but she would not be offering them a spot. At the second tryout there were 7 girls and she finalized the team from those players. The other teams we tried out for around the same time (one was a few days earlier) had lower numbers to go through and are still keeping everybody on hook while trying to add additional tryouts. There all pretty similar in level but the one my DD wanted to play for has been more consistent and a coach she really likes (former college player and a good young coach with a growing reputation). She was very decisive with what she was looking for and built a team that I know a few parents were surprised that their DD wasn't offered. Heard she did a lot of talking with the girls during the tryout to try and determine attitude and if coachable. Now hearing that the girls that the other teams had as on top of their boards to offer are scrambling because our new coach had offered them when she said she would and they committed right then.


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[FP26]

Truth. If a coach wants a player, the offer will come quickly. I'm not at all a fan of coaches taking players they don't really want.

And as parents, it's ok to be frank with the kids: "You're not the player that coach is looking for right now, but maybe you will be in the future. What other teams are you interested in?"

I like the way you think, but I also think some of that may be a matter of saturation for a lack of a better term. There are some lower level "B" teams in my area that scramble every year to fill a roster. So they may add a few players that they "really don't want" just so they can field a team. I'm not saying I condone that, just that is how it is.

To be honest, what I see more of is the "rose colored glasses" philosophy from both parties.
* Player (family) doesn't want to commit because a (perceived) better team may offer a spot.
* Coach (team) doesn't want to offer a commitment because a (perceived) better player may come along.

If both the player and the coach had a more realistic view of their situation, perhaps some of the delays would shrink on both sides... Not saying this is every case, and certainly not directing this at the OP or anyone else in this thread. Just an observation after being a parent and coach for 5 years.

 

[quincy]

I have given up on DD in tryouts, she has only been to a handful.

She has made the Teams but you know where she is slotted, bench.

Takes a little while but she sneaks her way into a must play.

 

[Mangler II]

Could be like a West Coast Coach I know

He cuts them DURING tryouts.

 

[CMMom1740]

Could be like a West Coast Coach I know

He cuts them DURING tryouts.

Hey, you know what? I actually would appreciate that. Why spend 3 hours out in the hot sun if he already knows you don't stand a chance. No waiting around for decisions afterward either. Do it in a kind, respectful way, and I think you would gain respect from parents and players.

ETA: I was a theater geek in high school, and theater directors do this all the time. They call out numbers, you step forward, and they say "Back row, please stick around. Front row, thanks very much" and everyone knows what that means.