Unacceptable

[JAD]

The best part about TB is that if you or your DD is not happy with her teammates, or her coach she can change teams. Not sure what your DD's softball history is, but TB is much more competitive than REC and you will find all types of coaches. A lot of dad coaches come from a football background where yelling at players is commonplace.

While I am not going to defend or support the coaches actions I will confess that I have used the term "unacceptable" preceded by some choice 4-letter words when my DD strikes out looking with runners in scoring position...

 

[riseball]

I agree that the OP may be overreacting to the term unacceptable. It would be interesting to know the details of the full conversation. Hopefully there is more that is being said. With a young player, most do not know what make of a coach simply stating their play is unacceptable. With older players, the coach loses credibility making such a Captain Obvious comment. In either case not much in the way of useful, actionable information is communicated to the player.

 

[Amy in AZ.]

Some parents clap and yell "it's alright! When their daughter strikes out, without even swinging the bat." I call that unacceptable. �� Just work with your daughter every day. Hard work is the key.

 

[canyonjoe]

Amy I respectfully disagree. It is alright. It's just a game and these kids play for fun. On any team there are some who consider it the top priority, others do other things like band or soccer or acting. What's unacceptable is being rude to the waiter at dinner, or ignoring the coach, or bullying kids,etc.

I know on the rare occasion that my DD strikes out even if she didn't swing the bat she either saw it different or was fooled on the pitch. If she does it it's OK because her plate discipline is what makes her such a good offensive player. I have zero doubt that she can put any ball you pitch her in play, but she it trying to find one that she can really do some damage with.

 

[sluggers]

Considering some of the generally accepted synonyms and their strong negative connotations,

You are so right! But, why stop with "unacceptable"? We should stop using all words that have negative connotations.

E.g., "strikeout" and "error" have a strong negative connotation. It makes me shudder to think how many times my DDs were told they made errors! The severe psychological trauma to my DDs continues to this very day.

Therefore, coaches from now on should should refer to strikeouts as "ouchies" and errors as "oopsies".

E.g., "Girls, we had 10 ouchies today, but only 5 oopsies! Well done!"

(Welcome to Lake Wobegone, where all the students are above average.)

 

[SoGASoftball]

Cheermom, you know your kid's level of confidence. Some kids can handle more criticism than others. If it's bothering her and you did the self check to make sure it wasn't you projecting your dissatisfaction with the coach, then it's important to have a conversation. If her confidence is strong and she enjoys every other aspect of the team, let it be.

 

[JAD]

You are so right! But, why stop with "unacceptable"? We should stop using all words that have negative connotations.

E.g., "strikeout" and "error" have a strong negative connotation. It makes me shudder to think how many times my DDs were told they made errors or mistakes! The severe psychological trauma to my DDs continues to this very day.

Maybe we should declare dugouts "safe zones" so no one can be offended...

 

[cheer-mom]

I appreciate all input.
First I am not against my kid getting yelled at for doing something wrong. She knows that and she knows that she just has to suck it up and move onto the next pitch.
I was just a bit irritated that the comment from striking out and not from just standing there and taking 3 called strikes was "unacceptable". I guess I expected some sort of coaching and guidance as to what she was doing wrong.
I'm glad I posted here as it seems my opinion on the use of unacceptable will not be welcome. I will just work with my daughter on my own, and we are already planning on finding a new team after this season.
Thanks!

 

[riseball]

You are so right! But, why stop with "unacceptable"? We should stop using all words that have negative connotations.

E.g., "strikeout" and "error" have a strong negative connotation. It makes me shudder to think how many times my DDs were told they made errors or mistakes! The severe psychological trauma to my DDs continues to this very day.

Therefore, coaches from now on should should refer to strikeouts as "ouchies" and errors as "oopsies".

E.g., "Girls, we had 10 ouchies today, but only 5 oopsies! Well done!"

(Welcome to Lake Wobegone, where all the students are above average.)

Lets not forget the taunting gyrations by the umpire when a player strikes out or the glorification of criminal behavior when a player "steals" a base.

 

[Sweet Lou]

You are so right! But, why stop with "unacceptable"? We should stop using all words that have negative connotations.

E.g., "strikeout" and "error" have a strong negative connotation. It makes me shudder to think how many times my DDs were told they made errors or mistakes! The severe psychological trauma to my DDs continues to this very day.

Therefore, coaches from now on should should refer to strikeouts as "ouchies" and errors as "oopsies".

E.g., "Girls, we had 10 ouchies today, but only 5 oopsies! Well done!"

(Welcome to Lake Wobegone, where all the students are above average.)

I could be wrong in this situation. I'm not there and haven't seen this coach in action.

But my guess, and this is only a guess maybe I'm being unfair to the coach, is that he's one that's long on yelling at the girls in a sarcastic demeaning tone and short on teaching them corrections to actions he deems unacceptable.

To me what is unacceptable from players generally comes down to poor attitude and lack of effort. Poor execution means I have more work in practice reducing or eliminating these physical errors and/or lapses.