This is why I asked the question. Everyone sort of builds a narrative around what they are comfortable with, rather than what would actually be better for the players or the team.Which is your choice, play who you want to play. Thing i hear most from coaches over the years is they want athletes. Not a lot of "fair" in the world so doesn't really factor into the equation for me.
Should play them for their output during games. Not time spent at practice.
edit: and to clarify, i mean if they are playing another sport and out being physical. Not sitting at home because they didn't feel like coming to practice. Then i'd sit them as well.
This coach is FAR from a bitter old-school battle axe. She is the most successful, most connected softball player I have ever met. She played professionally. She played for her country. Her best friends are gold medalists and household names in the softball community. She is adored by her players and parents, and a positive role model to them. Her teams are actually deep enough that the difference between number 1 and number 15 is usually pretty small.
So when she says you need to make sacrifices to reach the highest level, she says it because she knows from a personal level. She also knows that the second string catcher who works her rear off may not be better than the first string at 14U, but at 16U or 18U that kid will be running circles around the number one. And she knows that because she has witnessed it happen time and time again.
And also, from my personal narrative, I think proms are kinda stupid or at least not that big of a deal. Certainly not important enough to where it takes a weekend for hair, nails, dress then pre-party, post-party then Sunday brunch.