The Pitfalls of Having a “Nice” Culture

[Cornbread]

For players, parents, and coaches

 

[wheresmycar]

Honest Feedback does not require "chewing out" or "yelling".

Granted, if you are giving direction from across the field, you have to "Yell", but yelling at a player 3 feet away is not necessary to give "Honest Feedback".

There is no "respectful" way to chew someone out.

 

[SMS90]

This dude seems like a tool. Sorry if that's not nice. Some feedback respectfully point 2 and 5 are the same. You complain about softball being too nice and as an example you use how you made a mistake in your 20's, but you expect 12's and 14's to be better than you were in your 20's. Finally it is never never never ok to embarrass a player. If you can't instruct without embarrassing that's on you.

 

[ANNASDAD]

I’m not a yeller or screamer, never have been, it’s just not me. If for some reason I’m yelling something is wrong and swings are coming next!

I’ve seen both sides and have personally been coached by both sides and can see where boys would benefit more from butt chewing‘s than girls. And I know it’s a style some coaches use to motivate players, but more times than not it’s from a “look at me” coach with a big ego!

Now I’ll be the first guy out of the dugout to meet a player long before she gets close to the dugout to find out why she was just a bonehead and let’s fix it! But I won’t scream at her, and she’ll definitely get my point!

 

[Orange Socks]

DD had a college teammate that started hyperventilated after the coach barked at her. She quit! Lots of these kids haven't been barked at before until they get to college or even HS.

DD's BF and his buddies came out to her games and they heckled non stop. Some of it was hilarious. Some of the opposing players were engaging with them. I was telling him that parents are taught to cheer respectfully in the stands and there just isn't any heckling in softball. If we do, it could be detrimental to our kids playing time.

 

[John 800]

The story about the phone call from angry dad I agree with. After a kid does not listen multiple times he loses his right to “nice” from the coach. Then dad sticks up for him? This is a huge problem with lately with parents, I am not sure where it comes form but way too many idiot parents adamantly stand by their idiot kids when they are in the wrong, if you don’t believe that try working in education. If you deal with some of these kids and then their parents it is painfully obvious they have never done anything wrong in their perfect life

 

[SMS90]

The story about the phone call from angry dad I agree with. After a kid does not listen multiple times he loses his right to “nice” from the coach. Then dad sticks up for him? This is a huge problem with lately with parents, I am not sure where it comes form but way too many idiot parents adamantly stand by their idiot kids when they are in the wrong, if you don’t believe that try working in education. If you deal with some of these kids and then their parents it is painfully obvious they have never done anything wrong in their perfect life
[/QUO

He said he embarrassed the kid. That is not correcting and it is certainly not teaching. You want to have a stern voice to get attention fine but I draw the line at embarrassing a kid. Sorry but if this is your attitude hopefully you don’t spend your time in education.

 

[Bonesaw]

Id say the kid embarassed himself.

 

[SMS90]

The guy in the video said he embarrassed the kid. The kid!! Jeez, be an adult if you can’t make your point without embarrassing a kid, you can’t make it. Find something else to do.

 

[John 800]

It depends on how exactly it went down. This was not a kid that was trying and couldn’t “get” a skill. This (to my understanding, without alot of specifics) was a kid that was screwing off during warm ups and was told multiple times privately what to be doing and still chose not to. To have a sharp, firm tone with the kid at that point even when the orher kids are within earshot imho is not out of line. Its not fair to the other kids that are trying to stay on task and be productive. Like I said there is a line, name calling or deliberate humiliation is out of line.