The Pitfalls of Having a “Nice” Culture

[KrisHur]

This might sound a little weird, but I think most players/kids in general respond to "loving criticism". They can handle and even respond to criticism when they know it is coming with their best interest in mind. Yelling, attacking, berating, and threatening is not from that place and the player responds out of fear instead of wanting to do and get better.

YES! My DD's coach would sit on a bucket in the dugout while the girls were batting and say with a laugh "Was that your pitch?" when the girls swing at something over their head or reach really far for super outside pitch. She does it in such a nice way everyone laughs it off but the point was made. But she was tough as nails with us parents - if anyone gets too heated she won't hesitate to tell them to zip it or go to their car.

 

[QueueCT]

Had a coach who, after a tournament game, was unhappy with the team's performance. During the post-game meeting he made his displeasure known to the team loudly and publicly. He then had the team run wind sprints as punsishment in the outfield for an agonizingly long time. It was humiliating for the team to have this happen in front of the other team, and the parents.

My DDs, and their teammates, were furious afterward. Not because the coach was disappointed in their performance, but because they were publicly humiliated. There was nothing constructive or motivating for the players. There's a time, place and method to have motivational conversations with players. Coaches need to understand what motivates and demotivates their team.

As a side note, with their current teams, my DDs are used to doing pushups, burpees and laps as a consequence for making bonehead errors in practice. It's the coaches way of inserting some conditioning since everyone will lose focus occasionally and the girls treat it as an opportunity to laugh and tease their teammates.

 

[Cornbread]

Do yall think the gender of the coach plays a role in how players respond?

 

[bmakj]

we have always told both DDs, the coaches that push you to be better (again, doing so in a non abusive/degrading way), are the ones who believe in you, and believe you can be better. the ones who dont figure you are already as good as you are going to get.

 

[schwabach]

In my somewhat limited experience, I have observed that the girls can sense when the coach cares about them. And when they feel like the coach is there for them, he/she can push the girls harder and have certain coaching styles that wouldn't otherwise work. It is the coach who can make a team either greater than or less than the sum of the individual players.

 

[uncdrew]

we have always told both DDs, the coaches that push you to be better (again, doing so in a non abusive/degrading way), are the ones who believe in you, and believe you can be better. the ones who dont figure you are already as good as you are going to get.

Or don't care if you get better or don't think you can get better.