The parent fight at the PEE WEE football game got me thinking...

[stephanie]

The league decided to punish the team for the actions of the parents, and that is arguable too, but here's my question to us coaches:

Do you feel that it is somehow the coaches fault as to whether or not parents get to this level of emotion at a kids game?
I would really like to hear your responses!!!

 

[SoftSocDad]

It it's established in your league's Code Of Conduct, then the teams take a hit if the parents get out of hand. Sucks that everyone is adversely affected, but that's the way things go. I'm not sure what the team penalty is, but once a fight has occurred, then the guilty parents are banned for the remainder of the season and possibly the following season as well.

It is not the responsibility of the coaches to police the parents.

 

[SoCalSoftballdad]

Do you feel that it is somehow the coaches fault as to whether or not parents get to this level of emotion at a kids game?
I would really like to hear your responses!!!

Stephanie - I don't know the specifics of the incident you referenced (I think the subject line probably tells it all), but I do think the coaches can help set the tone and expectations of the parents at the beginning of the season on how they should behave during games. Last spring I posted an incident we had with an opposing 8U team's 1B coach who was ranting and raving about an umps judgment call and accused OUR team of being bush league and called us an expletive several times so the whole world could hear it. His team's parents, not knowing the rules, thought that we had done something wrong and the parents verbally turned on us.

So to answer your question, I think coaches have some responsibility for the actions of the parents and to diffuse (or not start) situtions before they get out of control. With that said, if parents are fighting they should be prosecuted to the full extent of the law and banned for life from attending youth sporting events.

 

[Coach Al]

Here is the story:

Coaches, Dads in Pee Wee Football Brawl, on Tape - The Early Show - CBS News

 

[sluggers]

Mandatory viewing: The South Park episode called "The Losing Edge". Stan's father, Randy, makes fighting at Stan's baseball games an art form.

Do you feel that it is somehow the coaches fault as to whether or not parents get to this level of emotion at a kids game?

Being emotional isn't the problem. One parent physically attacking another is the problem.

We don't know all the facts, but unless the coach knew the parent was wacko, the coach is blameless. These pee wee teams are basically rec league. In rec league, you may not even meet the parents during the year.

 

[stephanie]

Normaly, I don't disagree with you, Ray. But this is Texas football. They play tackle here at 5; flag is for sissies. Not only do these parents know each other, they have known each other since these kids were old enough to snap on a chin strap! I am a SoCal transplant to Texas and I have been FLOORED by the level of youth sports here, but none as big as football...

But getting back to the issue, don't coaches set the tone? I think they do, and the parents feed off of it. My son's 7 yo team got penalized 30 yards last weekend because the offensive coach on the field couldn't keep his mouth shut to the referee! And as soon as the parents saw it happening, they jumped right in with their comments, too.
I just think we forget the influence we have as coaches...

 

[Coachmom]

By punishing the team for the actions of the parents they are shaming these "bad" parents and creating an atmosphere that will force the rest of the parents to monitor each other before they get out of hand.

I have done similar things to my team. For example if a player is late all the time; I make the whole team run. When the always late player starts to feel the wrath of the rest of the team because she was the cause of the punishment, she stops being late. It works most of the time.

 

[fastpitch]

The coaches definitely set the tone with the parents and the players. Coaches need to recognize situations before they get out of hand and control it.

In a close 12U finals game last year that we were losing but rallying late, my coaches and I were focusing so much on the game that we honestly didn't realize our girls and parents were getting louder than they should have and in turn it appeared that we were allowing our players and parents to try to rattle the other pitcher/players by their cheers. The other teams parents got upset once we took the lead and in turn got verbally abusive trying to rattle our pitcher. I am usually trying to drown out the noise the girls usually make so I honestly didn't realize exactly how bad it was until after it was pointed out to me by the other parents/coaches that our girls were just being too loud and directing cheers at the pitcher; but by then we had taken the lead and now it appeared we used less than honorable tactics to take the lead. It just got ugly with all the parents on both sides screaming at each other. A nice comeback win was spoiled by how we let our players/parents act.

Now I try to be very aware on how the girls/parents act and put an end to cheers directed at the opposing pitcher/players. We encourage cheering of our players only. If we win I don't want it to be because we cheered so loudly that the pitcher got rattled. I want it to be because we played better.

 

[starsnuffer]

I think that every adult individual is responsible for their actions. It's a shame that no criminal charges were filed and no kids taken away from their insane parents who clearly belong no where near children. The obsessive and ridiculous child-sport culture in Texas is no excuse for this type of behavior.

While I agree that a coach can help set the tone, and I agree that on many occasions it is the coach who is at fault for setting off such incidents, we, as society, cannot shirk individual responsibility simply because "so-and-so did it too".

If I was the athletic directory deciding how to punish those involved, anger management and ballet lessons followed by a mandatory public recital in order to play next season would be the order of the day.

-W

 

[Amy in AZ.]

One sad part of the video, was when a young man tried to put himself between two adults. I wonder if one was his father?
Then, there was the man that came up behind a coach and cold conked him. He needs charged with assault.

My boy's baseball coach was hit in the face by a 5 YOs dad over playing time. The coach, to his credit, held his temper and the man was charged with a crime and banded from the school.