The Fat Girl

[stephanie]

Jeez, freakin, louise....
really?

I'm with Pride. First the thread questioning female coaches. BITE ME!
Now, a thread about name calling? Hey Old Dude...what makes you think she was ok with the "team" calling her names, but not anyone else? Dang, ya'll are Bush.

 

[amanda_cake]

LOL, I had another coach get on to me for being insensitive when I yelled to the outfield to "move back, she's a big girl." Well the girl was big boned but not what I would call fat, the kind of kid that belts balls to the fence. Code words were soon introduced.

If a girl like that gets up, we're like okay... "BIG STICK" and everyone gets the idea.

In regards to the OP, I can't imagine joking with my teammates about one of them being fat. I've played with some hefty girls and it usually isn't discussed. One of them would occasionally crack a joke (such as "oh my, stretching is killing me... we need some fat girl stretches!") but for the most part stuff like that goes unsaid.

 

[livingontheroad]

There are lots of good players that are big girls. The problem is speed. There are big strong athletic girls that can move well, and there are those that cannot. A pitcher doesnt need to be able to do anything else, so a big pitcher isnt too much of a liability. The big girl who can only play 1B and is very slow on the bases has a limited future. By the time they are in HS, they need to be considering themselves to be athletes, and eating and training like one if they want to go to the next level. That can mean losing 50 lbs for some. I have seen colleges take it off of them in a year or two, dramatic difference.

 

[WinThemAll]

Softball_chic_12 and others.
Good for you, Good JOB!!! and that's the attitude.

Sluggers,

I am not pretending or ignoring. . .name calling is a part of all walks of life--not just softball specific (as you did specify ;-)). . .many of these topics continue to perpetuate the stereotypes that can continue to hold back athletic opportunities for women. I guess one of my problems is with why is it okay to discuss an issue like this here, but you never really see it on a boys discussion board. It seems if people continue to make it an issue, it is an issue and keeps the drama going instead of hitting it head on and just stating that it will not/should not be tolerated. How did your DDs deal with it?

Are we going to see a post on "Dumb Blondes" or ethnicity? As long as people keep segregating themselves/others with stereotypes, then it just makes it harder to progress past all our differences instead of being positive of our similarities and focusing on the task at hand.

The other problem with this topic was in the op's sentence and the part I bolded.

Several years ago I had a Short stop who was what every body called " A big girl" . Now she was really out their and would say " I'm a fat kid tell it like it is". Well we all had fun with her and made jokes but it was only within the team that it went on.

That should not be tolerated. . .the girl's statement that "I'm a fat kid tell it like it is." may have been a mechanism for her to deal with it and to fit in, not how she really felt about it. To join in and let other team members joke is just plain cruel.

I know for a fact how cruel people can be. I was an athlete and also raised a DI female athlete but I also raised two boys who where HS athletes. I have learned not to tolerate bad behavior by just calling the person on it in a calm, assertive manner.

And I am not saying the boys and girls are the same--everyone is different. But everyone should be treated with respect and allowed the same opportunities.

Understand the girl, coach the athlete!

 

[PlanoHeat]

I have always said I would never dream of getting in a physical altercation at a softball game but if someone seriously "moo'd" at my DD there is NO WAY I would be able to contain myself. Most girls already have self esteem issues there is no reason to contribute to that. Mine got lucky and didn't get my genetics and would likely fall into the "bean pole" catagory.

I have noticed that most D1 teams seem to have less "big girls" the last couple of years then previously. Not sure if that is a trend of players coming up or who the coaches are selecting. Most of them now seem to be of avg build and above average height.

I guess my only question is what was the point of the orginal post?

 

[stephanie]

exactly, Plano. What WAS the original point?

But if you read between the lines, what he's saying is this:
"I hated the name calling, until the girls got on the team, and now we ALL name call her...because we're a team!!! Aren't I brilliant?"

 

[sluggers]

As I noted in my earlier post, 'name calling' shouldn't be tolerated by a coach even if it is directed at members of his/her own team.

How did my DDs handle it? There is only one way to shut them up--the athlete has to perform. You make the first free throw or strike out the batter, and the crowd shuts up.

When my DD practiced hoops, we ended each practice with a game called "championship of the universe". The game was simple--whoever scored the next basket won. The only rule was that there were no rules. I could hold, foul, grab, shove, call her names, and cheat. We played this game for three or four years. I tried as hard as I could...so, if she beat me, she beat me. When she was young, I won all the time. By the time she got out of HS, I would win maybe 50% of the time. By the end of college, I couldn't beat her no matter what I did.

True story: My DD's team was playing for the conference championship and an automatic birth to the NCAA tournament. It was her senior year of college, and her team was down by 1, and she was fouled. There was 40 seconds left in the game. We were at the opposing team's gym, and the crowd and the other team had been on her all during the game. She was physically and mentally exhausted. The opposing team called time out to "ice her".

I was sitting a few feet from her, and I said, "Looks like we're playing championship of the universe". She looked over at me and smiled, and then she got the look on her face of relaxed determination, and then went out and drained the free throws... and that was the game.

guess one of my problems is with why is it okay to discuss an issue like this here

I seriously considered deleting the entire thread. But, it seems to me it is better for us to get this stuff out the light where everyone can see just how ugly it really is rather than to pretend it doesn't exist.

 

[Cannonball]

My dd played with a young lady who was "all about" being "fat." She looked at it so much differently than what is being portrayed here. Naturally, we didn't "name call" but she did. Wow, what an athlete. That was some time ago and guess what, she has grown up. Still, she calls herself the same. Listen, my sister is one of the largest ladies I've ever met. She has a medical condition that can't be controlled. Instead of being concerned about what others think, she rolls with it. She has complete control of her "self esteem," has 5 kids, and really is living life. She too is an athlete and I don't recommend you thinking you can stand toe to toe with her.

 

[softballphreak]

I seriously considered deleting the entire thread. But, it seems to me it is better for us to get this stuff out the light where everyone can see just how ugly it really is rather than to pretend it doesn't exist.

I agree with not deleting the thread. When issues are put out for discussion people become enlightened (or exposed). Until people are educated on some issues they may continue to believe that these various prejudices are normal, just not discussed. Talk about them and pretty soon people become aware how ignorant some thoughts are. There are numerous issues that could stand the same exposure.

 

[WinThemAll]

. . .

guess one of my problems is with why is it okay to discuss an issue like this here

I seriously considered deleting the entire thread. But, it seems to me it is better for us to get this stuff out the light where everyone can see just how ugly it really is rather than to pretend it doesn't exist.

Sluggers, you edited the rest of my quote, which I was truly asking for a honest answer

. . .trying to get a deeper understanding of why people feel the need to post this on this forum but would not on a boys board.

My quote was

I guess one of my problems is with why is it okay to discuss an issue like this here, but you never really see it on a boys discussion board.

again not so much as a complaint, because I did start to hit the "report post" button but instead thought I would try to find out the why.
I have purposely stayed clear of the Female Coaches tread, but with yet another post, I just could not take it any longer. . . . .