Seemed to become the buzz word for the coaches and parents this year, from what I have seen the player immediately tenses up when they hear it.
Telling a Player to Relax
- Thread starter quincy
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Two things, kids need to be taught how to relax and maybe they are either reading the wrong "cue" from the parent or coach.
While the coach/parent are saying to relax are they actually saying "don't panic", "don't make a mistake", "don't do it again"?
While the coach/parent are saying to relax are they actually saying "don't panic", "don't make a mistake", "don't do it again"?
- Jan 15, 2009
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My daughter and I have had long discussions about this and the end product is that she feels she has the most success when she is in a zen like state at the plate, 100% confident in her ability to hit, 100% detached from the result. Wanting it real bad, being afraid to fail, unsure of your ability to succeed are all mental states that suck away from your chances for success. Our cue is simple, if I see tension or doubt in her body language at the plate I hold my hands in front of me with the palms up and middle fingers touching my thumbs in a meditation pose and she will smile, take a deep breath and get her head right.
Its almost impossible for a kid to relax on command. Athletes need to learn how to maintain calm during a stressful event ahead of time. You can't flip a switch and have a player snap out of it. Learning a ritual while in a calm state, will help a kid during a stressful time. My dd, we went through a couple of different scenerios on how to calm down and focus on the next pitch and not the last 1 (or 10). Its something you do in the barn and not in a game. Then instead of saying, calm down you can say. "Go to your routine. Trust in it"
For my dd I tried to get her to take an extra few seconds, clear her head have a positive thought and then go. Didn't work a bit, instead of clearing her head, the extra few seconds gave her more time to focus on why she was stressed. We then tried, you got the ball back from the catcher and you have 8 seconds to get rid of it. We did entire practices like that. She had no time to think of anything other then the next pitch. That worked for her. Now she pitches much quicker, games go much faster, and she has no time to stress.
Of course I am not saying this will work for everyone, what I am saying is. You have to figure it out ahead of time. Nothing you say or do during a game will make her calm down if you have not worked on it ahead of time. Find that routine or ritual that works best.
For my dd I tried to get her to take an extra few seconds, clear her head have a positive thought and then go. Didn't work a bit, instead of clearing her head, the extra few seconds gave her more time to focus on why she was stressed. We then tried, you got the ball back from the catcher and you have 8 seconds to get rid of it. We did entire practices like that. She had no time to think of anything other then the next pitch. That worked for her. Now she pitches much quicker, games go much faster, and she has no time to stress.
Of course I am not saying this will work for everyone, what I am saying is. You have to figure it out ahead of time. Nothing you say or do during a game will make her calm down if you have not worked on it ahead of time. Find that routine or ritual that works best.
One night our family was sitting at a card table, playing "Jenga". With a boy and a girl and two competitive parents, our little family game nights get pretty intense. Our boxer, "Puppy" was laying down under the table. The Jenga tower had gotten very high and precarious, and it was DH's turn. Puppy could sense the intensity and was starting to stir. DH growled "Don't PANIC, Puppy!" as he tried to place his piece on the tower. Of course Puppy freaked, jumped up, overturning the table and losing the game for DH. Hey, at least one of the kids didn't lose, then we'd REALLY have problems! Chinamigarden - good advice! Don't think, just do. Do the thinking in practice.
Greenmonsters
Wannabe Duck Boat Owner
Sounds like it works for her, but you need a Plan B too, in case the other team starts taking time and tries to upset her preferred rythym. It will happen it it hasn't already!
Actually it doesn't. When its time to throw the pitch, regardless of the batter, she knows to focus on her routine and its been ingrained enough that it works. There are times she shows frustration and gets mad in the circle, but she knows how to direct it now. A routine for hitting and pitching goes a long way toward improved focus.
I like your answer.
Two things help with my team (at least I think). One is that players often take on the demeanor of the coaches. If they relax, it relaxes the team. But sometimes they are too relaxed and need more intensity. But coaches can set the tone there too.
The other thing is my belief that nerves in sports are primarily about the fear of failure. If you can minimize that, it helps. What is the child afraid of? Letting down her teammates? Letting down her parents? Afraid people will think less of her? Do they put too much of their identity into their success in softball? It's human to feel some of those things, so I'm not making this out to be neurotic behavior. But kids can perform better if they come to understand that failure is what makes the game fun. If we never failed, it would be boring. Failure makes success more fun. Don't fear it. Not an easy lesson for a kid to learn (or even adults), but it's worth teaching.
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We tell my DD "Do what you know", which is her reminder to trust her training and not stress out over the situation.
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