teammates are smoking weed

[Amy in AZ.]

I have an idea. Call a 6AM practice and if she doesn't show up, cut her. I have never known a teen toker that will get out of bed, very early.

 

[T.J.]

I have an idea. Call a 6AM practice and if she doesn't show up, cut her. I have never known a teen toker that will get out of bed, very early.

What if the "TOKER" shows up and the really good player doesn't, along with 3 other girls? Do you cut all of them instead? If you have "Set Rules" on this you're screwed!

This "toker" obviously needs help and support, she's just a kid! Perhaps her parents are doing everything they can and are struggling with it all, and perhaps they are blessed and relieved to know when she is at softball with coach James (someone they trust) she is safe and happy; maybe she needs more softball time. You cut her and take that safe haven away from her you will show lack of loyalty and become untrustworthy (all in my opinion).

 

[Amy in AZ.]

Well, I was joking.

We can wait now, and see if anything is cleared up at practice.

 

[tjintx]

This thread has a lot of value going forward as parents,coaches, and society needs to deal with this. My feeling is there are NO bad kids, only bad decisions. We all make bad decisions,some worse than others. I like the old saying "It takes a village to raise a child".
The problem with that is once the village knows about this kind problem, the rules are set in stone(she will be cut from the HS team).
As for the fear of losing that great incoming player, if the great incoming player leaves BECAUSE you cut the smoker, then the incoming player was probably headed in the direction of the smoker and your problem would be compounded anyway.
Only advice i have is take care of that player as best you can. Try to win Her back from the darkside(starwars reference.. sorry) and you will have gone a long way in helping Her and your whole team both TB and HS to learn and grow. Good luck ...

 

[Phathead]

My mom always had the saying "Teachers handle what happens at school and I handle what happens at home". This was of course when paddling was still allowed in school. While I havn't had to deal with any issues like this I think I would take the same approach as my mom. If it happens at the field then I have to deal with it and that would be easier of course if the penalities vs infraction has already been discussed. If it isn't during team function of any kind then it is the parents job to deal with it. While we coaches seem to be second parents for some we are not the real parents and it their job to address these type of situations.

 

[BaldNBeautiful]

My mom always had the saying "Teachers handle what happens at school and I handle what happens at home". This was of course when paddling was still allowed in school. While I havn't had to deal with any issues like this I think I would take the same approach as my mom. If it happens at the field then I have to deal with it and that would be easier of course if the penalities vs infraction has already been discussed. If it isn't during team function of any kind then it is the parents job to deal with it. While we coaches seem to be second parents for some we are not the real parents and it their job to address these type of situations.

I think Phathead has a good handle on this. You do not need to deal with it specifically until it directly affects your area. Now if she was smoking while at one of your TB tourneys or a practice (or shows up for one of them stoned) then deal with it.
Until then let her parents address it.....however, the bullying aspect may have to be dealt with.
Don't get me wrong, I believe in holding my girls to a higher level than most when it comes to off the field issues, but this is one battle that I do not think you need to get into. Not yet at least. Good luck, though!

 

[GOINGDEEP]

Well we haven't heard from James since the noon practice. I sure hope the young lady didn't offer him half of her brownie.

 

[coach james]

Funny... I thought the brownie tasted earthy...
Practice went as I expected... elephant in the room. The new girl came to "try out" and wowed everyone, but heres where is got weird... toker and my dd used to be pretty close before the weed or bullying incident and now they are supposed to hate each other. I get a call today as Im headed to practice...its the stoner and her friend and they need a ride!!!!!!! OMG ARE YOU F'n KIDDING ME???? I decide to kill her with kindness and pick her and her friend up. My dd is soooo pissed at me as we pull up. Practice stayed busy and somewhat productive. In an attempt to get the girls talking again I offered to buy McDonalds for them on the way home. We stop and get some lunch and the girls slowly start chatting about school and typical gossip. As we are headed home after dropping the girls off, my dd's phone rings... its her, and now shes asking if dd has plans tonight and can she come over???? I dont know what the hell happened? But at least theyre not shooting death glares anymore.

 

[splinterpicker]

Would the discussion be so tolerant if this was a coach smoking weed? No matter what age it is illegal to smoke weed. Coaches have to take care of the best interest of the team as well as their own moral compass. Parents need to parent, but some where there needs to be repercussions or it makes it alright. As far as bullying that is totally unacceptable and should be dealt with severely at any level. Until society makes either one totally unacceptable it will be issues that will never go away.

 

[GOINGDEEP]

Funny... I thought the brownie tasted earthy...
Practice went as I expected... elephant in the room. The new girl came to "try out" and wowed everyone, but heres where is got weird... toker and my dd used to be pretty close before the weed or bullying incident and now they are supposed to hate each other. I get a call today as Im headed to practice...its the stoner and her friend and they need a ride!!!!!!! OMG ARE YOU F'n KIDDING ME???? I decide to kill her with kindness and pick her and her friend up. My dd is soooo pissed at me as we pull up. Practice stayed busy and somewhat productive. In an attempt to get the girls talking again I offered to buy McDonalds for them on the way home. We stop and get some lunch and the girls slowly start chatting about school and typical gossip. As we are headed home after dropping the girls off, my dd's phone rings... its her, and now shes asking if dd has plans tonight and can she come over???? I dont know what the hell happened? But at least theyre not shooting death glares anymore.

Well coach, I do believe today was a good day and you "all" have taken a step in the right direction. Just remember we were that age once........and I'd bet none of us were perfect.