Trust me these game's were 2 Important to let others get reps in to evaluate or have fun but thats why we lost didnt keep the best players in there and at the right positions.And thats why we never advance.We have a great core but doesnt use them like they should be used
From what I am reading, it's a never-ending string of reasons why the HC is terrible. If things are at all as bad as the picture you're painting, it sounds a LOT to me like you need to find another place for your DD to play.
If you have discussed your dislike of the HC with other parents, it's very possible that HC is aware of the conflict, and is adjusting the situation to encourage your departure.
Have you thought about coaching your own team?