Should I Take this girl?

[wild man]

I had a mother approach me the last time I was having a summer practice and ask if her daughter could possibly play for me next year.
She told me that her daughter is a "Trouble Child". She said that she has been kicked off every sports team she has been on. I realize that LL turns no one away BUT I can be encouraging To mom or not.

Now this girl is about 5ft10 170 and SOLID. She can run like a deer,And seems OK to me. Her mom told me that she punched her Basketball coach in the face. She said the coach had it coming but that is real serious negative behavior.
I talked with her and told her that bad attitudes would NOT be toleratd. I ve had some rotten kids play for me and have never kicked one off of a team.
Too much? Or do I give her a shot ? Maybe let her come to summer practices and see?
Mom seems to be at her wits end . There is no father around.

 

[mrslug01]

I coached a kid with behavior issues. In 6th grade I suspended her from my travel team. In 8th grade, we put together a new team in another program. Her name came up again. This was a higher level recruited team. She was very talented. We gave her the benefit of the doubt being it was two years later. We spoke to her before hand and told her we couldn't tolerate any issues and if there were any she would be asked to leave. It was a tough year. She was up and down all year and we made it through it but cut her after the season. It's too difficult to coach a U14 team of girls as it is at times. I would suggest you don't invite in distractions.

 

[Amy in AZ.]

There was a time, when I would have said "give her a shot." But, in today's society, you risk being sued if she hurts another girl, since you already know about the problem.

I have had my share of giving someone a chance, though, and it never was a good experience. You spend all of your time explaining to parents "Yes, but she has a problem."

How old is she? It reminds me of a girl that my DD actually had as a friend. She was a talented catcher, but would actually lay down and throw a fit, in MS. One day on HS varsity, she just decided to quit showing up. So, the team had no catcher.

I was glad when we moved away from her.

 

[sluggers]

Now this girl is about 5ft10 170 and SOLID. She can run like a deer,And seems OK to me. Her mom told me that she punched her Basketball coach in the face. She said the coach had it coming but that is real serious negative behavior.

Hitting a coach is "serious negative behavior"? Hitting a coach is "criminal behavior". She should have been arrested.

And "the coach had it coming"? Wow...the acorn doesn't fall far from the tree, does it?

I talked with her and told her that bad attitudes would NOT be tolerated.

Uh...hitting a coach goes a little beyond "bad attitude" doesn't it? In basketball, all she had to hit with was her fist. In softball, there are these 30 inch, high tech, $500 clubs laying in the dugout. What if she decides to use one of them?

Amy is absolutely correct--you know of her tendency toward physical violence. If she goes after another one of your players, then you will be responsible.

While I'm sure you are a great softball coach, the girl needs a psychologist and some intense therapy.

 

[EP Dad]

It saddens me to have to side with the majority, but I do. I'm the kind of guy who thinks everyone can be saved but sometimes kids are just out of reach for whatever reason. The girl obviously needs help from someone but a softball team is probably not the best place to get it.

It's a shame.

 

[starsnuffer]

I'd only give the kid a shot if the kids parents were making the effort to correct her behavior. If the kid (and parents) are going to therapy for the issues then I might consider it, under the condition that there was not a history of her being a danger to other children and just the coach.

If the parent is trying to substitute sports for therapy, then no way.

-W

 

[Coach JV]

WOW!!! I took one of these once. About the 2nd week, she talked about getting dragged
off the school bus by the police. She was immensely talented and 14. She skipped a mandatory practice and showed
up 5 min before our next game. I told her she was benched and why. She said F#** off. I told her to get her stuff out of
the dugout and stay away from the team.

Next practice she and mom came to talk, told me the whole story
about dead beat dad, no male role model blah-blah-blah. I listened carefully and replied "I'm sorry to hear
that, but she is your problem, not mine" and I walked away...........happy. The girls were thrilled that she
was not around anymore. I will never take a chance on one again.

DON'T TAKE HER UNLESS YOU ARE A 'WILDMAN' (per screen name)

 

[Amy in AZ.]

I also need to mention that in the girl's case that I knew, the male coaches were scared to death that she would accuse them of something.

 

[amanda_cake]

I wouldn't take her. If her mother is serious about getting her on a team, she shouldn't be telling everyone all of her issues. I wouldn't want a kid with all those issues. And our coach's insurance isn't good enough to cover her beating me up. Seriously, I'd shy away from it. I used to be all for second chances... then I met some kids that were real hell raisers.

 

[ElmoBlatch]

Great discussion, and a lot of sound opinions.

I'm in the camp of give her a chance with a zero tolerance policy. Be very clear about your rules up front and explain that if there is one violation she will be gone. Explain this to both her and the mother.

I disagree with Amanda a little bit about the mother. I appreciate that she was truthful about the kid's issues and didn't hold back.

This is just my opinion and I have never coached at the travel ball level, just rec and town all stars, so take it for what it's worth.