Should I Take this girl?

[SoftSocDad]

I'm not even trying to play the devil's advocate here, but what risk are we - as responsible adults - taking if we don't make every reasonable effort to keep this kid involved in team sports?

Of course, there has to be a breaking point and in general, hitting a coach or player is that point, but maybe this girl needs a structured, team environment in addition to therapy and/or medication.

I wouldn't suggest the clinical-only route to helping this child. Although not a guarantee, success in athletics can have a potent therapeutic value in its own right. Combine that with the right clinical support and this girl could be well on her way to avoiding bigger trouble as she gets older.

Put her out to pasture now, however, and you risk losing her forever. That doesn't mean that you or any one of us would be the right coach - or therapist - for her at this time, but when a child presents with a serious problem, I think most of us have the capacity to do better than to simply shut our doors and hope they'll go away.

 

[Cannonball]

Wild Man, when I first came to my present high school, I had a young lady on the basketball team that would not listen to anyone. Was always in trouble, ... I was told that the best solution was to cut her since she was a senior anyway. She played so hard. She had nothing positive in her life. I kept her on the team. Then, when things got tough with grades, games, ... she didn't handle it well and so, I threw her off the team. She came back a day or two later and asked to be back on the team. Long story short, I threw her off another time and let her back on. So, we go in to regional play and so a loss is the end of the season. She is diving in to the stands for loose balls. She is so bloody on an elbow that she has to be taken out of the game for a second. During time outs, she is snorting like a race horse that has just had a workout. We lost.

She stands up in the locker room as we are wrapping up and starts crying. She tells everyone how she hated her life and how being on that team was all she cared about. It was so emotional. She said how she just couldn't let us lose because it would mean the end of the only thing she cared about. Well, it was very tough and she has not had it good since. HOWEVER, the next year, it was snowing and we were headed to our regional game. Standing at the enterance to our school holding a huge home made sign was this young lady. The sign said "Don't let it end!"

Sometimes kids need you and your sport more than you need them. You have to decide what you want to do in this case. You might be giving a child the things that the truly miss and want in their lives. JMHO!

 

[WinThemAll]

You really need to think about all your other players first. Ask around and make sure you find out all the facts.

 

[shockcoach]

I am in the "NO" camp.

 

[InsidePitch]

This is a real dilemma. You hear about stories where the kid needs something in their life and a coach gives them a chance and it turns around. Like in Cannonball's post but even then there was plenty of drama. Maybe it isn't just a chance but also standing firm against them wanting to lash out. Maybe a high level TB team isn't the place to do this but if not, then who, what or where is?

I'd ask to speak to the BB coach and find out his or her side of the story. What set her off, was it a slug or a shove that resulted to a hand in the face. I'm not saying it matters but just so you have a clearer picture of what transpired. Maybe you're not the one to give this girl a chance and there is nothing wrong in that but maybe you know someone that is the right person so your just not turning your back on her.

So, I guess I'm in the don't give up on em camp but not without everything spelled out in writing. What is expected, what gets you kicked off the team, etc. Good luck and I'll have a word with the big guy that the answer you seek comes to you without a lot of agonizing.

 

[sluggers]

Would we be having this conversation if the kid was 210 lbs and ran like a turtle? Of course not.

 

[guero_gordo]

I have a real problem with the "had it coming" statement from the mother. At some level she has decided to justify behavior that is utterly unacceptable.

 

[shockcoach]

would we be having this conversation if the kid was 210 lbs and ran like a turtle? Of course not.

exactly!!!!

 

[Cannonball]

InsidePitch mades some good points. As an FYI, like the child referenced by the OP, I WAS THAT CHILD. I was cut my freshman and sophomore years because, according to the coach, I was, "just too mean." Nothing was further from the truth. I did what I had to do in the neighborhood I grew up in. That meant having to fight. As some posters know, it progressed to the point that I was attacked by others from my neighborhood using a baseball bat and they almost beat me to death. I loved baseball and played hard. Baseball was my way out. Then, the varsity coach gave me a chance. As I've posted several times on various websites, I believe he saved my life AND I attribute much of what I have now to baseball which, in turn, goes back to him believing in me. On my high school teams, I try to give back what was given me. I do know the line. This is not an easy situation for the OP. It takes a lot of commitment from the coaching staff and players to help someone on the edge. I trust you'll do the right thing knowing all factors that we can't possible understand from posts on a message board. Good luck. I too will say a prayer to the head honcho upstairs.

 

[softballphreak]

The mother said she had been kicked off of every sport she ever played. What makes you think you would be any different?

What age is this LL that has 5'10", 170 lb. players?

Judging from some of your other posts you seem to attract more than a normal share of drama.

If all this is for real what I would advise is giving her an opportunity to do the summer practices with the team and if that goes well I would give her a chance on the team. But as another poster said I would speak to any other coach who has coached her and get their input first.