Maybe no more Tournaments us

[jacketsfan]

Quincy - not sure if you're in rec or travel, but I am guessing a rec league tourney? I have had 3 kids play SB, at all levels or rec and travel (and soon college!). The rec tourneys were sometimes pretty rowdy - people acted like their place in the softball coaching or parenting hall of fame was on the line, or their multimillion dollar coaching or parenting contract depended upon how lour and obnoxious they could be. On the other hand, I met lots of good people who are still friends now.

TB is like that too, but to a lesser degree. I have met many, many, great people in TB, and a few duds. I avoid the duds and hang out with the friends, just like in real life. My DD has made some great friends as well.

I would certainly not give up because of an experience like that. It happens, but it's a great sport. You will come across fools who lose their minds at times, but that doesn't change how you act. I had a coach in rec league want to fight me at home plate, parents offer to meet me after games in the parking lot when I was umpiring, etc. I only remember that once in TB, and the guy apologized after the game.

This is definitely a get out of what you put into it endeavor.

3's Dad - as you get older, they get less vocal because they talk behind your back more.

 

[quincy]

We are in a rec league and probably always will be.

I sincerely hope that the adults settle down a little bit when our girls get older.

I cannot see myself being anything but passionate during my DD games but I never have attacked anyone during a game, even verbally. I applauded the other Team when they make a good play.

 

[jacketsfan]

We are in a rec league and probably always will be.

I sincerely hope that the adults settle down a little bit when our girls get older.

I cannot see myself being anything but passionate during my DD games but I never have attacked anyone during a game, even verbally. I applauded the other Team when they make a good play.

You're a good fan - cheer your team, and appreciate the other team. I wish I could tell you it totally calms down, but it's a competitive game, coached by competitive people, played by competitive kids. It's bound to get a little intense on occasion. I also wish I had more parents like you in LL.

I think, though, as the kids get older, everyone starts to appreciate the game more, and it is better, in general. For some reason, though, it seems like the LL mentality is different than TB, and these incidents are much more common in LL.

BTW - my DD started at age 8, was as gawky and uncoordinated as they come, and I thought would never last 2 seasons, due to her ability (inability really) and some of the things you noted. We started TB at age 11, still did rec and TB for about 2 years, then went to travel, and next year she'll play in college.

Your DD has plenty of time yet to decide how far she wants to take this.

 

[SoftSocDad]

I've seen some crazy stuff in rec already...and my daughter just turned 8. I yelled at her once in the spring, because her coaches weren't giving her a signal to run. She scored from 1st on the long hit, but would probably still be standing at 2nd right now if I hadn't told her to run home. Don't ask me why the 3rd-base coach was chatting with someone off the field at the time.

That was the only time anyone heard anything out of me all season.

My daughter played her first 2 rec tournaments this fall. Sure, there were a few psycho parents/coaches out there, but for the most part, it was a great experience for everyone at all levels and she's excited to get started again in the spring.

 

[quincy]

We play double headers in fall ball, last games of the year our rec. team played a TT.

1st game we got smoked, no Issues.

2nd game we shut them down, our pitching and defensive was great. Everything was the same as the 1st game except we were winning.

Their Manger, coaches and parents all became more aggressive once they were losing. Yelling at the ump, questioning calls, etc.

This seems to be the tournament mentality, I don’t know.

 

[InsidePitch]

I agree that the parents seem to get better as the kids get older. Maybe they have come to realize there is nothing to be gained by being a jerk except embarrassing your kid. Last summer I was at the mumbling stage and took my spot in the outfield when DD pitched. I cheer any good play regardless of the team. I don't tell the umps, the coach or players how to do their job. I have my hands full doing mine properly. Good luck. Oh and I think 8 is too young to be playing serious tournament ball. 10 is early enough.

 

[MTR]

We are in a rec league and probably always will be.

I sincerely hope that the adults settle down a little bit when our girls get older.

I cannot see myself being anything but passionate during my DD games but I never have attacked anyone during a game, even verbally. I applauded the other Team when they make a good play.

Don't be fooled. While it isn't prevalent, it does occur in travel ball. They are few, but man do they draw negative attention to themselves and their players.

 

[bobbyb]

Our first year of summer ball...was ugly. Didn't think my dd would play another one because of the stuff you mentioned...but i am thankful she did. Our first tournament...i didn't like either. She was 13 played 16b...was slower than the other pitchers and the first game she pitched...the opposing coach just kept degrading her. Instead of talking to her batters about their inability to hit...it was "come on..shes only throwing 20mph"..."you can't hit it cause its just junk"...yada yada yada. I was shocked and mad. She won the game...struck out quite a few..and put the ball in play when they did hit. I had to really consider whether i was going to let play TB if it was that way.

However...it seems worse the younger they are. Not that there is never drama now...but its nothing like those younger teams. And i am very thankful that we have had the experience together now.

 

[Sparky Guy]

However...it seems worse the younger they are. Not that there is never drama now...but its nothing like those younger teams. And i am very thankful that we have had the experience together now.

What you'll find is that once the girls hit the 2nd year 14U going into 16U they make the game theirs. At that age there are so many distractions and other options for them, yet they choose to play ball. They are serious about it. If there's anything happening on the field they take care of it themselves. The parents still grumble, but what you'll find is they for cliques and complain amongst themselves. Once in a while you'll find a disgruntled parent who speaks out, but not too often. The parents also mature along with their daughters. They realize all the nonsense is just that, nonsense. By the time they get to college you're nothing more than a fan by then. It's fun to just sit and watch.

 

[absdad]

IME the younger/newer/less experienced the parents/coaches are to travel ball and tournaments the crazier and more obnoxious they are.

I wholeheartedly believe this to be true. This past summer, we watched a family friend's daughter play one of her last tournaments before heading off to play college ball. My wife and I both noticed how calm all the parents and fans seemed to be. This was an 18A team, playing a 18gold team.
A few years ago, I remember parents yelling at umpires through the backstop, complaining about called strikes and balls when my dd was playing rec ball. Nooo... I wasn't one of them.

I think once the little kid's parents calm down, it gets better. But you will always have one or two that never seem to get it. Not all tournaments are that way, and certainly not all coaches are that way. You need to address those concerns with the TD, or the cycle will continue to repeat.

But if you think softball dads are bad, you ought to check out wrestling dads. Wow!!