Maybe no more Tournaments us

[quincy]

My DD is 9 now, played in her 1st tournament last year and I hated it. She did better than I did, but she did not enjoy it too much either.

I needed to yell at the parents a few times to shut up, was not a problem all year.

A Manager on the other Team physically assaulted our Manager. Our Manager was passively attacked by a few Teams the entire tournament.

It was a train wreck, I could go on and on about the Issues. Somehow the intensity level of the adults, Managers, coaches, parents, spun out of control.

I was seriously considering telling the Manager of my DD’s Team that she would do anything they want during the season but she would not play in any Tournaments. We are going to try 1 more, if it is this bad again we are done with Tournaments until she gets a lot older.

We play for fun, not for all the drama and conflicts.

 

[Coach JV]

We play for fun, not for all the drama and conflicts.

This is an oxymoron, softball is full of fun, drama and conflicts, not always in that order

 

[01mom]

That stinks that ya'll had a crappy experience. We have similar issues with the park my DD is zoned for in rec, instead of doing 8U all-stars this past spring we took our regular team and picked up a couple girls and went to a tournament. The girls weren't use to that much playing in 1 day and they were exhausted, but had a great time and came across a lot of great sportsmanship (much better than our park). Maybe your next time will be a positive experience.

 

[Coach-n-Dad]

When DD played her very first game in LL the coach of the other team dressed down her Catcher and tore her mask off. During the whole game the other teams ADULTS acted like fools yelling at our girs and our fans. We nearly pulled her from Softball that day.

Thank God we didn't, this is the best ride DD (and parents) have had.

 

[WTYA_FP_DAD]

Not to be stupid, but how is it that so many people on here are involved with tournaments? In our rec league (all that my DD plays), we have a spring season opening tourney and that is it. There are only a couple of travel ball teams around here and they, of course, only pick the elite players from the various rec organizations in the area, so there really aren't that many girls given the opportunity to play in tournaments. Is this common? Am I just imagining that almost everyone on this board go to tournaments on a regular basis? I'm still kind of new to softball with DD, but DD#2 is up and coming so I want to know what I'm in for over the next 10-12 years.

 

[Coach-n-Dad]

Well, My DD started in Rec ball too, Little League. We quickly decided to take her out of that program because it is a joke where I am. We live in a tiny little town an hour away from the city so we were thrilled when a local guy started a TB program for local girls; she played there for 1 season until the team collapsed. By that time DD was in love with the game and showed some potential so she tried out for a team 45 minutes away. She made that team and we have been travelling since then for 45 minutes to 1 1/2 hours to practice and going to 15 to 20 tournaments per year since.

Buckle your seatbelt )

 

[Ken Krause]

I'd say most people on the Forum come from travel ball. Some may also play rec ball but they do some form of travel as well. Generally speaking, that's the sort of fanatic that will spend hours on an online forum talking about the best way to hit, or the optimum mechanics for pitching. Me included.

As a general rule, parents of kids who play rec ball only aren't that into the specifics. They want their daughters to go out in the sunshine, play ball and have a good time. Winning is always nice, but it's not a focus. Often there isn't a huge focus on skills either. One game a day, two or three days a week, is plenty. Not a lot of desire to practice once the season starts.

Travel ball is the opposite. Big focus on achieving excellence, and for many on earning a college scholarship. You play tournaments to get a lot of games in and face the best competition you can handle.

Neither is right or wrong. It's all about what's best for your daughter and your family. If you like to go camping, visit water parks and amusement parks, putter around the house, attend concerts etc. during the summer then travel ball is probably not for you. Yes, you can work some or even most of those things in, but you have to plan them around tournaments. Given that so many teams play practically every weekend during the summer (spring and summer for younger teams) it doesn't leave a lot of time left to "work around." You might try to camp out when you travel to a tournament, but eventually you're going to prefer the comfort of a hotel, especially after four games on a hot, humid day.

There are lots of different levels of softball. You have to figure out which one is right for you.

 

[Ken Krause]

Quincy, getting back to your original post I'm surprised it was that bad at that age level. Not all tournaments are like that, nor are all teams like that. I tend to find that the least competent coaches are the ones who make the most noise, and the least knowledgeable parents are the ones who cause the most trouble.

In 99% of the tournaments you'll find teams competing hard against each other, but with respect. Apparently your team unfortunately managed to find one in the other 1%. Not sure where the tournament director was during all of this but it sounds like it wasn't run very well.

Tournaments are actually a lot of fun with the right approach. I wouldn't give up just yet. But I'd definitely check around to find out where the good ones are before jumping into another.

 

[fastpitch]

IME the younger/newer/less experienced the parents/coaches are to travel ball and tournaments the crazier and more obnoxious they are. Unfortunately it is always the youngest teams that have the most of these types. As parents/coaches gain experience and learn how to deal with this, the better their attitudes become.

The coaches can usually prevent this by sitting the parents down prior to starting any games are played and give clear rules on what is/ and what is not acceptable for their team. My DD's team has a strict no talking to players rule during games which will affect play time. They can only communicate to players through coaching staff. If the kids need something they ask the coach to request it from the parent. While they are allowed to cheer, they are strictly not allowed to engage in any comments about the umpire calls or the other team. It stops parents from yelling instruction to their kids and yelling at umpires. One parent brings lollipops to the games and hands them out to the other parent reminding them to suck on the lollipop instead of yelling something that isn't "allowed".

 

[3'sDad]

Too bad you had a poor expreience Quincy. As some of the more experienced parnets/contributors will opine, the parent issues/yelling generally begins to subside after 12U/14U and by the time the girls get older, you almost never hear a parent say anything during a game.

DD just moved up to 14U after her 1st year of travel ball in 12U. Parents are a bit calmer in 14u as they've already Been thru the 7-8 game weekends and have some notion of what to expect over the course of the season.

Best of luck to you.