Maybe no more Tournaments us

[CoachJ5513]

"Bad" Parents are an unfortunate side effect of ball at any level...
My DD left rec ball and went strictly TB at the age of 8. The good thing about travel is that you get to "tryout" parents as well as players. I don't necessarily mind parents being "intense" or "vocal". If there is a "bad call", by all means boo or shout "come on, blue", but once the play is over its over.
* No "beating a dead horse"
* No personal attacks
* No profanity or "gestures"
* No addressing the other teams players, EVER!
You are going to run into a group of "knuckleheads" regardless of what "level" you play. Conduct yourself and your teams with class and courtesy & it eventually comes back around.
My pet peeve is with any adult who thinks it is OK to try and psyche out a kid regardless of whether that kid is 6 or 18. Any parent or coach or fan that addresses a player from the opposite team in a negative manner has no business being involved in ball, IMHO.

 

[SoCalSoftballdad]

My DD is 9 now, played in her 1st tournament last year and I hated it. She did better than I did, but she did not enjoy it too much either.

I needed to yell at the parents a few times to shut up, was not a problem all year.

A Manager on the other Team physically assaulted our Manager. Our Manager was passively attacked by a few Teams the entire tournament.

It was a train wreck, I could go on and on about the Issues. Somehow the intensity level of the adults, Managers, coaches, parents, spun out of control.

I was seriously considering telling the Manager of my DD’s Team that she would do anything they want during the season but she would not play in any Tournaments. We are going to try 1 more, if it is this bad again we are done with Tournaments until she gets a lot older.

We play for fun, not for all the drama and conflicts.

The manager sets the tone for the entire team (including the parents). In general, it takes two people to get into a physical confrontation. I never challenge the other manager, if I have a question about a ruling, I talk to the umpire, never the opposing coach. When you start going back and forth with dialogue with the other team, only bad things will happen. You cannot control how other team's act, you can only play your game with respect and dignity the way it was meant to be played.

Don't lose faith in tournament play. You will encounter a few ugly teams from time to time, but overall your DD will grow tremendously from preparing for and playing against better competition.

 

[SoCalASABlue]

Three pages of responses and not one (unless I missed it) commented on the purported assault on the manager. If this indeed occurred, I hope your manager filed a police report. There have been times as a manager/coach and as an umpire where I have been so angry my wife thought my head would explode, but never would I put my hands on a player, umpire or manager and expect to get away with it.

 

[quincy]

My Manager did not file a police report but obviously League immediately found out about it and that person is no longer welcome in any capacity.

I am not even sure if he is allowed to attend games as a spectator anymore.

 

[CoachKevin]

Wow.. out of 6 going on 7 years of coaching a travel team I can count on 1 hand the number of times we have ran into this type of behavior. It is actually very uncommon.

 

[Quake Softball]

Wow.. out of 6 going on 7 years of coaching a travel team I can count on 1 hand the number of times we have ran into this type of behavior. It is actually very uncommon.

Same here I have been coaching TB for 5 years now and I can only think of ONE incident off the top of my head. I will be sad when my daughters are too old and can't travel anymore.

 

[Screwball]

Must be a rural versus city thing. or east coast versus west coast....

 

[MTR]

Must be a rural versus city thing. or east coast versus west coast....

It definitely occurs in the East. I have seen a parent/scorekeeper and entire family thrown out of a tournament at a NQ a few years ago. It was the TDs (also JO Commissioner) decision. These folks were from a local town where the mentality (no matter the issue or cause) is smack talk and intimidation as a way of life.

Also, at an ASA 16U Eastern National a couple teams, but one from OH in particular had coaches and parents that did nothing, but complain for three days. It was obvious they believed championship play was just like league play. Coach was ejected in the 1st inning of the 1st game of the tournament. The umpire refused to eject a pitcher for wearing a leather band on her wrist of her glove hand. When the umpire told him it wasn't a problem, he wanted the umpire to check because the coach insisted it was in the rules. So at the coaches request, the umpire checked the rule book (this was a remote field, so the UIC wasn't immediately available, but could have rule by phone if necessary). When the umpire told the coach the ruling was correct, stood in the middle of the field and at top voice declared he was going to tell the UIC. The umpire gave him the opportunity to get a jump on that quest.

When the UIC informed the coach that anything considered jewelry it was completely up to the umpire's descretion as to whether it was dangerous or not, the coach spent the next five minutes marching through the complex screaming that "we're not playing ASA rule, we're playing umpire's descretion". After that time, the TD told him to shut up and rejoin his team or leave. For the next two days whining about every little thing, mouthy with everyone including the other teams and parents. It was an embarassment to the softball community and that is a shame.

As others have stated, it is not a common occurance, but when it happens, it is hard not to notice.

 

[quincy]

I know this is an old post but it is that time of year again. Manager, and wife, asked me if DD was going to play in the year end tourney.

I said yes but I will be the 1st to admit I am going into it with a poor attitude and low expectations.

Last year was the least enjoyable experience DD had in softball, hopefully this year will be better.

 

[Coach Becky Wittenburg]

Don't give up just yet...