How far does this go?

[WARRIORMIKE]

I think the price of cheerleading is freaking ridiculous. Absurd on the dollars that is charged for that sport. I would rather my dd just take some MMA classes for that kind of dollar amount. Then she can learn to kick some boys butt if they ever mess with her!!

 

[Amy in AZ.]

But, I do agree, to the new parents, that maybe only played some Little League 20 years ago, that softball at 9 seems outrageous. But, if she is on a team with the type of schedule that you describe, she has to be pretty good. Most 9 yos can't even catch and throw.

I hope that in 6 months you are on here, telling us about her hits and asking what type of bat does she need next.

 

[Coach-n-Dad]

The cost of any sport, even the rediculous ones is NOTHING compared to drug rehab or raising a child for a young teen.

To the OP, the others here are spot on when they say to be the adult and work it out. I couldn't imagine telling my kids that they can't do something because it takes too much of MY time.

I did a job for 6 years that I didn't like to do, because it paid well and gave me the flexibility to take the time off to get my kids to their sporting events and other events. Finally, the baby is in college so I am leaving that career to do what I have wanted to do since I was in my 20's.

You do what needs to be done.

 

[Jr10234]

A little surprised, sports are expensive-add travel and its out of the budget for some people. Why does a 9 yr old need tube on a team that travels bi-weekly? At 14u we had one travel tournament and most were to and from in a single day. This commitment sould have been agreed by both parties, not one on their own.

If your dd loves it, ex wife should be willing to do the travel weekends in exchange for hers the following weekend.

 

[abbygale]

If she doesn't want to trade, you have a valid gripe. If she does, you don't. I think constant overnights would be a little much to expect you to pony up for. You do need to provide her with life in your home also, not just motel rooms. It can all be managed with good communication on both parts but don't expect it to be easy.

 

[GOINGDEEP]

Just a thought out loud. This reminds me of 2 feuding parents we had in 12u.

My question would be, your ex signed her up for this. I assume she supports her daughter's team? She does or does not attend these weekend tournaments when it's "your weekend"?

The reason I ask is we had a mother who signed her daughter up for everything she could, and rarely showed up to those activities. I believe she did it to get in the dad's pocket.

 

[PA SB Dad]

I recognize that most of the folks on here are not going to be objective, but I think many of you really don't see the other side. Jamnee could just as well have signed up his DD for dance or some other activity without consulting his ex, and demand that she attend those activities on "his" weekends and skip softball. Is that right? I know what reaction everyone on this forum would have if someone posted that scenario, but it is OK for the ex-wife to sign up his DD without his input.

There are so many different levels of softball and levels of commitment that there has to be some compromise that allows her to play TB but still allow jamnee and his ex to spend what they define as quality time without breaking the bank or interfering with the child's school or home life. I think the ex was inconsiderate and needs to consider how they can raise their DD together and still manage SB. Seriously, how many 9 yo olds will be playing TB when they are 14? And how many 9 yos can get really messed up by the games parents play with their custody arrangements? Folks here need to take a step back and gather some perspective.

 

[Easton33]

How many players that aren't playing softball now will be playing when they are 14? Let her play, you sacrificed your dd's opportunity to have both parents at home, time for you to make some sacrifices. It may not always be easy, but you and mom made choices that put each other in that situation. Don't take this away too.

 

[Cannonball]

jamnee, first I understand that you feel that this is unfair to you. Apparently, your wife is not caring or understanding about your position. Still, your daughter has found something positive in her life. Softball can be such a positive experience. The young ladies on my dd's team growing up were all honors students. They learned about discipline, dedication, organization, or self sacrifice. If you give it a chance, you might feel as most of us about what this could mean for the both of you.

jamnee, you have your life planned and want that schedule maintained. Life isn't that easy. I understand about the money as well. Its tough. When your daughter hits that first home run or makes that first great play and after the game you celebrate it with them, you will understand why you have to make changes for her.

 

[InsidePitch]

I am not a single dad but can sympathize with one whose vocation might not pay well enough to afford 350 dollar weekend hotel bills. I use that number because that is what I average per out of town weekend. His job might pay enough but his alimony and child support might be to much to afford this.

If they are traveling every weekend, I would really have a difficult time ponying up that kind of cash for a 9 year old. Find a local town travel team and let her play.