Look, I really don't expect my daughter to do anything but try her best when she is out there. When the coach started really getting on my dd is when I noticed she isn't living up to HIS expectations. I can't tell what she is doing wrong or right because I know nothing about the game. I just want to help her get him off her back.
Help with coach issue, please?
- Thread starter 8utbmom
- Start date
Welcome to Discuss Fastpitch
Your FREE Account is waiting to the Best Softball Community on the Web.
- Jan 31, 2011
- 458
- 43
Very tough situation. There are a lot of people on this site that have years of experience dealing with coach problems. The term "daddyball" is there for a reason. I also have read a lot of good advice these folks have given you. Our friend, AMY in AZ has suggested twice that you buy a DVD and learn the fundamentals and get involved. My opinion is you need to cut your losses and get away from this situation as soon as you can. The comment about quitting lesson to your 8YO is minimal as compared to how the lasting impression she will have of what competitive softball really is. You need to get informed and active in her development. Sorry, there is no easy answer.
At the very least, the organization needs to know they have a coach that is nuts.
At the very least, the organization needs to know they have a coach that is nuts.
This is probably the best thing you can do in the long run, at least at the younger age levels. If this is allowed to continue for a few years, the board of the organization will turn a deaf ear, and support the guy who has put his time into the organization and not a "disgruntled" group of parents. If enough parents at this age level express their concerns, he won't get to that point. Invite the head of the organization to come out to practice, and see what he thinks.
There may be ways for the organization to remedy the situation without getting rid of him, such as requiring him to go through ACE certification, attending coaching clinics, or having more supervision as to the conduct of the team. Unfortunately, if he says no, or the organization has no appetite for a power struggle, or if no one else steps up to coach, then you are stuck with him. At that point, the loudest and most clear message you can send is to finish out this year and not return the next year. Daddyball teams fall apart all the time for the reasons you describe.
I'm shocked at how many of the learned folks here somehow think that the player should stay with this psycho. GET OUT NOW! Otherwise, IMHO, this is an adult ego "I'll show you" post that is basically throwing DD under the bus. I agree at some point that our kids have got to learn that life isn't fair and there are a%$^holes in the world but this post seems to be way beyond the norm.
- Apr 1, 2010
- 1,673
- 0
I wouldn't ever recommend a child stay around a psycho, but IMO this guy just sounds like a jerk.
I second Amy's recommendation on the New England Catching Coach's dvd. Even if you don't know a thing about catching now, you will learn a ton of things that you can work on with your daughter. And she's at a great age to try out any position she wants. While she might eventually have to choose to be either a pitcher or a catcher, I don't see why she can't experiment a little with both now. I think the experience at the other position will be a plus, wherever she ends up.
I second Amy's recommendation on the New England Catching Coach's dvd. Even if you don't know a thing about catching now, you will learn a ton of things that you can work on with your daughter. And she's at a great age to try out any position she wants. While she might eventually have to choose to be either a pitcher or a catcher, I don't see why she can't experiment a little with both now. I think the experience at the other position will be a plus, wherever she ends up.
I sincerely appreciate all of the advice. I apologize for being snippy in my last post...I just don't feel like I am putting pressure on my dd. I want her to do well so she will feel better about herself and get the coach off her back. However, it really is a bad time in our life for such a time consuming sport so I almost wish we could be done with it instead of trying to fix the problem.
She did say yesterday's practice was better...still had girls doing push ups though. I guess even his dd had to do them twice. My dd was at his station the whole time, and she said he complimented her a few times and didn't make her do the push ups. They were just doing drills the whole time. I'm wondering if someone approached him about his behavior as several parents and assistants were watching in shock at the last practice. I just really don't think that was the end of it though.
It is such a difficult decision because it's not only our time and money invested in this, my dh will have to answer to his boss (sponsor)who happens to follow the games. Also, one day my dd is so upset, and the next she is totally pleased with herself and the coach. The good news is that her coach has a 3 week out of the country business trip coming up, so the assistants will take over practices and coach the next tournament.
As far as alerting the organization, 3 of the upper level coaches are aware of his behavior so they may have been told already. However, my husband plans to speak with his friend, the pitching coach, and her mother (the founder) at an upcoming pitching clinic anyway. Have you ever heard of an organization giving fees and sponsorship money back when a team has broken up mid season?
She did say yesterday's practice was better...still had girls doing push ups though. I guess even his dd had to do them twice. My dd was at his station the whole time, and she said he complimented her a few times and didn't make her do the push ups. They were just doing drills the whole time. I'm wondering if someone approached him about his behavior as several parents and assistants were watching in shock at the last practice. I just really don't think that was the end of it though.
It is such a difficult decision because it's not only our time and money invested in this, my dh will have to answer to his boss (sponsor)who happens to follow the games. Also, one day my dd is so upset, and the next she is totally pleased with herself and the coach. The good news is that her coach has a 3 week out of the country business trip coming up, so the assistants will take over practices and coach the next tournament.
As far as alerting the organization, 3 of the upper level coaches are aware of his behavior so they may have been told already. However, my husband plans to speak with his friend, the pitching coach, and her mother (the founder) at an upcoming pitching clinic anyway. Have you ever heard of an organization giving fees and sponsorship money back when a team has broken up mid season?
- Apr 25, 2010
- 772
- 0
You need to google "New England Catcher's Camp" and buy it from them. I don't believe it's available in stores.
I have an 8yo DD. There is no way she would want to play that many games in a weekend, every weekend. Yes this coach sounds like a jerk, but you may have to go talk to him. I wasn't crazy about the coach's on my 8U team, but until I started asking questions about why they were doing things and addressing my concerns, things didn't get better.
And as for the sleepover thing - My oldest DD is 12. I also have the 8 yo, a 5 yo DS, and a 14 month old. My baby was out at a tournament at a week old. it was March, cold and rainy, but we were all there. That is part of the family commitment to playing in tournaments. I have let my 12 yo go to tournaments without me, but my 8 yo doesn't even go to her rec games with out a parent (or her older sister) in attendance.
And as for the sleepover thing - My oldest DD is 12. I also have the 8 yo, a 5 yo DS, and a 14 month old. My baby was out at a tournament at a week old. it was March, cold and rainy, but we were all there. That is part of the family commitment to playing in tournaments. I have let my 12 yo go to tournaments without me, but my 8 yo doesn't even go to her rec games with out a parent (or her older sister) in attendance.
- Apr 1, 2010
- 1,673
- 0
I got my NE Catching Camp DVD here New England Catching Camp - Video Tips From Catchers Stance To Advanced | Shop at BaseballTips.com They seem to be out of stock, but they have a nice review of the DVD and what it covers.
LOL, yes, summer may make or break her desire to catch. Mine was so-so about catching when it was just one easy spring game at a time with restrictions on things like lead-offs and steals. Catching didn't seem very hard or important. But the first time she went to a tournament with real rules and caught game after game in the blazing heat, with her hair stuck to her head with dirt and sweat, she was hooked. I'm thinking most sane girls would have made the opposite decision!
Seriously though, you should make sure she's drinking a lot of water (starting a day or two ahead of time) and isn't catching all of the games when it's hot.
LOL, yes, summer may make or break her desire to catch. Mine was so-so about catching when it was just one easy spring game at a time with restrictions on things like lead-offs and steals. Catching didn't seem very hard or important. But the first time she went to a tournament with real rules and caught game after game in the blazing heat, with her hair stuck to her head with dirt and sweat, she was hooked. I'm thinking most sane girls would have made the opposite decision!
Seriously though, you should make sure she's drinking a lot of water (starting a day or two ahead of time) and isn't catching all of the games when it's hot.
