- Jan 14, 2015
- 95
- 0
Not sure we need to call a truce yet, but can we agree to one before it becomes necessary?
We've read a few things differently. I clearly see Buckeye as offering to keep his DD in rec ball, but discouraging MS or TB if she lacks the attitude and effort to fit into the team atmosphere. And I'm good with that. She would be as miserable in that setting (and apparently is already) as he, which doesn't seem all that healthy to me. He also left her with the option to step it up, as long as she initiated the move. I'm good with that, too. So I don't see him closing her out, just tightening up the ground rules a little.
Is he looking for a little sympathy from the group here? Maybe. Likely, even. I probably would be, too. He too a big step and what he saw as a big risk with his daughter that could affect not only softball, but their relationship overall. He shared his uncertainties about it here; I'm sure he'd be resting much easier if everybody rubber stamped his actions. Of course this forum isn't a very good place to get blanket affirmations, so I also think he wanted some honest feedback from people.
Please accept my genuine admiration for your involvement with your own kids. You worked with 5 teams and multiple children at once? My wife and I barely keep up with the only one left at home. If I were wearing a hat right now, I'd be tipping it to you.
A final note. A suggestion actually, if you will. Please be careful about trying to walk both sides of the fence. When you stated, "Well, you don't know anything about us and I'm not about to share. You want to form an opinion about our life and our values, have at it," you were taking me to task for interpreting some of your own remarks about your family in a way that wasn't too flattering. You have every right to call me on that. If I wanted to defend myself, I'd respond with "But that's the only information you gave me to evaluate." Clearly it wasn't enough to understand the full picture of your family dynamic, even though your description of your DD's hypothetical response to a hypothetical situation hit me as stark and stunning. What I believe we do in the DFP community is exactly what happened here. Someone gives information and the rest respond, hopefully in a way that is respectful and helpful (but not in a way that is always easy). So in the give and take we have a chance to clarify and express and challenge and disagree and all that. It's what I think all of us are about here.
Can you see that you did the same thing to Buckeye that you accused me of? You formed an opinion about his life and values, and truthfully, you buried him when it struck you the wrong way. We should all feel free to challenge each other. I've been lit into a couple of times here. So be it. Part of the process. Some days we do better than others.
Anyway, if there's a hatchet out, shall we bury it? And not in each other's heads?
Well said and well heard. Life is all about choices and we live with them, it's one thing we can never take back, the choices we make. So we live, learn and figure out how to keep moving forward. I don't dwell on the past. So yes, hatchet is buried over here with you and all.
I've heard "troll" mentioned a few times all over this board, I'm not totally positive what that is, but I'm pretty certain I'm not one.
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