Escalation of Commitment

[BuckeyeGuy]

Relapse.

DW has been reminding DD for weeks now to get all of her school ball paperwork squared away. Friday there was even a note reminding DD to finish up the paperwork that day. Wasn't complicated: get one paper signed by a single teacher, bring everything home.

DD thought it was ok to keep ignoring The Mom. Now The Word has come down from on high: no school ball. If she can't perform this most basic of tasks, she's not ready for the added responsibility.

I am sad, disappointed, and a little angry with us and her. I feel completely lost at this point.

 

[dbronstein]

Sorry this happened. If she wanted to play badly enough, she would have gotten it done. And if she does want to play that badly, it's a good lesson for her.

 

[BuckeyeGuy]

Good lesson for me, too.

It's still a process I guess, so I'll keep trying to help her where I can.

 

[Cannonball]

Is the document signed a coach's rule or a school board rule?

We have documents that must be signed as well but none from a teacher. Most of the time, things like a teacher's signature is a rubber stamp as long as the student is passing. The state requires a physical on file and so, that has to be done. The Code of Conduct required by the school can be turned in a week late as the students have not started games. That is all that our school requires.

 

[BobInMadison]

Sorry this happened. If she wanted to play badly enough, she would have gotten it done. And if she does want to play that badly, it's a good lesson for her.

Either she doesn't really care that much about softball or else she needs a big lesson in responsibility.

You will know the answer for sure later on. Growing up can be painful for the kids and the parents.

 

[dbronstein]

Is the document signed a coach's rule or a school board rule?

We have documents that must be signed as well but none from a teacher. Most of the time, things like a teacher's signature is a rubber stamp as long as the student is passing. The state requires a physical on file and so, that has to be done. The Code of Conduct required by the school can be turned in a week late as the students have not started games. That is all that our school requires.

Our school doesn't have softball, but for the other sports the kids have what are simply called "sports forms" they have to turn in every week. They have to have them signed by each of their teachers every day stating that they are meeting the requirements of the class academically and behaviorally. Then they turn the form in to the athletic director every week. If they don't turn a completely form in, then they can't play the following week.

 

[Cannonball]

Our school doesn't have softball, but for the other sports the kids have what are simply called "sports forms" they have to turn in every week. They have to have them signed by each of their teachers every day stating that they are meeting the requirements of the class academically and behaviorally. Then they turn the form in to the athletic director every week. If they don't turn a completely form in, then they can't play the following week.

Wow. Our AD and/or his secretary do this electronically. Each student athlete has their grades called up and the coach receives a copy of anyone ineligible. We don't know what the student has done but we do know what teacher it is and the grade. We are one of the school districts that now demand a "C" for participation. Many in our area only demand passing or a "D." Students that are ineligible are ineligible for a week. In 29 years of coaching, I have never had a student ineligible. I let them know where I stand on grades and my players know that I will get them a tutor or they can stay late for that class after school if they have to. Student comes first in student athlete.

 

[BuckeyeGuy]

Is the document signed a coach's rule or a school board rule?

Both - we have pre-participation forms such as the Player Profile form and an eligibility checklist, and then there's the academic eligibility form that the teachers have to sign: the LSD requires C or better in 5 classes to be eligible.

Of course there's a bunch of other forms for parents to deal with like the physical and medical forms, but there are some that require action on the part of the player.

Another update:
Saturday was our last day of indoor live pitching league, and she went in lazy. I watched her warm up the pitchers, and she decided to not use a correct receiving stance. I mentioned it to her once, she wouldn't correct herself. I let her go and sat down out of sight to read. Somewhere along the line she decided that half-effort was good enough. DW made her ride home with her, which was probably a good choice. I didn't say anything to her at all, just let her decide if she wanted to talk about it - and she didn't, even though she managed to hit the throw-down target twice (+5 points for each time, too).

Sunday was her last hitting lesson with Karen Linder. She didn't want to get dressed, didn't want to put the iPad down (BTW, iPads are the Devil), just basically moping all the way into the car and during the 30 minute drive. We get there and the place is empty other than 1 employee, so I set her to warming up on this device that's like a blocking dummy only you hit it with the bat. Similar to videos I've seen of hitting a heavy bag: hands in tight, turn hard and it stops you at the contact point. I'm dreading this lesson because of her attitude on the trip.

They do the mental approach discussion first, then to the tunnel. She gets in the tunnel and starts her tee work, and she looks to be at least participatory, which is nice. Then they start doing front toss and she struggles a little at the start, coach talks to her a bit and she improves some. Then as she rotates in and out of front toss she starts blasting the ball all over the place - serious, solid hits like I've never seen her do before. She's never hit the ball that hard ever. And she's smiling, can't stop. Can't stop talking about it on the way home.

I'm confused.

 

[djcarter1966]

Both - we have pre-participation forms such as the Player Profile form and an eligibility checklist, and then there's the academic eligibility form that the teachers have to sign: the LSD requires C or better in 5 classes to be eligible.

Of course there's a bunch of other forms for parents to deal with like the physical and medical forms, but there are some that require action on the part of the player.

Another update:
Saturday was our last day of indoor live pitching league, and she went in lazy. I watched her warm up the pitchers, and she decided to not use a correct receiving stance. I mentioned it to her once, she wouldn't correct herself. I let her go and sat down out of sight to read. Somewhere along the line she decided that half-effort was good enough. DW made her ride home with her, which was probably a good choice. I didn't say anything to her at all, just let her decide if she wanted to talk about it - and she didn't, even though she managed to hit the throw-down target twice (+5 points for each time, too).

Sunday was her last hitting lesson with Karen Linder. She didn't want to get dressed, didn't want to put the iPad down (BTW, iPads are the Devil), just basically moping all the way into the car and during the 30 minute drive. We get there and the place is empty other than 1 employee, so I set her to warming up on this device that's like a blocking dummy only you hit it with the bat. Similar to videos I've seen of hitting a heavy bag: hands in tight, turn hard and it stops you at the contact point. I'm dreading this lesson because of her attitude on the trip.

They do the mental approach discussion first, then to the tunnel. She gets in the tunnel and starts her tee work, and she looks to be at least participatory, which is nice. Then they start doing front toss and she struggles a little at the start, coach talks to her a bit and she improves some. Then as she rotates in and out of front toss she starts blasting the ball all over the place - serious, solid hits like I've never seen her do before. She's never hit the ball that hard ever. And she's smiling, can't stop. Can't stop talking about it on the way home.

I'm confused.

Unfortunately for you this is the way it goes. She sounds just like my DD she really wants to be a great player, she just does not want to work at being a great player.

The school thing is weird guess you guys have not moved into the 21st century. I'm not even100% sure I signed anything last year although maybe I did. Everything is done electronically I think we even scanned in the physical...maybe they asked for hard copies of everything but those could be turned in later, since they already had everything electronically, all academics are 100% electronic, coaches, kids and parents get grade updates every two weeks

 

[BuckeyeGuy]

Unfortunately for you this is the way it goes. She sounds just like my DD she really wants to be a great player, she just does not want to work at being a great player.

EXACTLY! I'm worried that I'm failing to instill a solid work ethic in her. I know she's young, so I'm hoping that if I keep preaching and teaching it she'll pick it up.

The school thing is weird guess you guys have not moved into the 21st century. I'm not even100% sure I signed anything last year although maybe I did. Everything is done electronically I think we even scanned in the physical...maybe they asked for hard copies of everything but those could be turned in later, since they already had everything electronically, all academics are 100% electronic, coaches, kids and parents get grade updates every two weeks

Sorta - the parent forms are online but a hard copy of the physical needs to be turned in. The grades thing is handled by the office, they let us know if anyone is ineligible. The forms they're working on are ones that we require of them at the school as coaches.