Dreaded Bucket Dad Syndrome

[Hawkeyes]

I am one of the quietest dads in the stands. Back in the day i was a varsity basketball coach. We were watching film with the team and one of the kids asked me to turn the volume down so he didnt have to hear his dad and grandpa from the crowd. That day i decided i wasnt going to be that dad.

As a coach i was constantly telling parents that their role is to sit back and enjoy it because its going to fly by. Now i am the parent and i am trying to live that motto. Its not easy

 

[Crystal Brown]

Then there are the extreme case of bucket dad. The ones who take great pleasure in seeing the other pitcher struggle. Not only they enjoy this but also enjoy talking down about the girl...in front of their parents, in front of them, to other players, on the phone....it don’t matter. Thank goodness DH hasn’t taken it to this extreme.


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[JAD]

Every player is different, and what works great for one pitcher may not work well for another...all I know is my DD threw 2-3 MPH harder whenever I pissed her off! LOL

 

[Tatonka]

I thought I was the only one! LOL I have tried every approach mentioned here it seems like (in multiple sports and different positions) over the years. Having your DD out there in the circle when you and her have spent so much time together at lessons, in the backyard, studying video and watching others and seeing her doing something different than you & her have worked repeatedly on is tough. Really tough. We spend time on "fixing it" and making the adjustments while working at home and she is responsible for figuring it out. Every now and then she'll ask "what am I doing wrong?" and we'll talk about it. I'd like to think I've gotten better and have learned to let her work through it and just trust what I know she knows....but sometimes I still yell out our cues or do silly movements (adduction, bent arm, stuff like that) and hope she can see it. This year it's gotten easier and I have really been noticing the habits of the other bucket dads and realize I'm not all that bad!

Great thread Crystal...thank you and good luck with your DH. Lots of good suggestions here, hopefully he will figure it out soon.

 

[Djubs]

Yes, I hate to admit it but I too have recently found myself guilty of this. I read this thread yesterday and thought glad I'm not like that. Well last night I pulled one of her game videos and watched it with the sound on (usually I watch them with no sound while I'm at work) and I had no idea how many instructions I yelled out through the game. Most of it being random "you got this" or "looking good kid, keep it up" mostly words of encouragement but geez I was annoying myself listening to it. I will focus on doing a better job at this. Thank you for the post and bringing it to my attention.

Maybe if you record one of the games and play it back for your husband he can hear how it sounds to everyone else. I know doing this has made me want to change my ways.

 

[coach james]

Doesn't he go with D to Ricks???? Is he not sitting on a bucket in all those clips you've posted of her working with Rick? How could he still be so ignorant if he's present at those lessons? That's 99% of why I mandate that the parent is at all my lessons I give the kid... this way the bucket mom/dad is learning equally with dd. The other 1% is legal liability of never being left alone with someone else's kid.... He should be her biggest fan, not her biggest critic

 

[obbay]

.finish your pitch, follow through, keep moving forward,stop throwing across your body",

I was getting really irritated reading this!
When she was about 10 y.o., Kelly Kretschman had to tell her father to cut it out. Something like "..if you can't just come to my games and enjoy watching me play, I don't want you coming anymore". To which her mother immediately chimed in "Yeah!"

In HS DD made the conversion from seeing me as a coach to seeing me as an annoyance, so I have tried to cooperate.

 

[Crystal Brown]

Doesn't he go with D to Ricks???? Is he not sitting on a bucket in all those clips you've posted of her working with Rick? How could he still be so ignorant if he's present at those lessons? That's 99% of why I mandate that the parent is at all my lessons I give the kid... this way the bucket mom/dad is learning equally with dd. The other 1% is legal liability of never being left alone with someone else's kid.... He should be her biggest fan, not her biggest critic

He does go to all of the lessons. I actually wrote a response and deleted it. This is so much more complicated than I am able to explain.

 

[BuckeyeBW]

I am and assistant coach and talk to my 11u daughter when on the mound fairly regularly but not on every pitch. Usually it is "nice pitch" or encouragement of that kind, I just sort of read her. I have gone games without saying something as I don't want her to rely on me. The thing I probably most say if she is struggling is "make your adjustments" and let her figure it out for herself. We recently made a pitching coach change, while I wouldn't call the changes drastic, there are some significantly different things she needs to do. Her pitching lessons are as much for me as her. She and I work together a lot, so if I don't know what she should be doing I can't tell her to correct it. To me, if I just let her throw wrong, it is practicing a flaw over and over and is therefore harder to break. Sometimes she will be struggling and look over at me on my bucket, I will then give her a "make sure you finish your pitch" or "use your mechanics" etc. These are very general suggestions to her as I want her to figure it out.

 

[coach james]

He does go to all of the lessons. I actually wrote a response and deleted it. This is so much more complicated than I am able to explain.

Hey Crystal. After rereading my post it sounds a little harsh. Sorry. I know what you mean by it being complicated. I think she has made amazing progress over the years and your DH needs to take a step back to see that