Difficult Decision - What would you do?

[Lozza]

If she's good enough, pick her. You can control the dad.

As a first baseman who has had that exact situation happen to her, the defensive player was in the wrong. But I don't doubt the runner hit her on purpose. I was taught to do that as I'm sure most people are.

 

[mad hornet]

In most of my experiences the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree. This sounds like an exception. Good luck!

Now I have a question regarding your rationale. Suppose this was a great kid and all around player with good attitude. Problem is that dad's personal life is a wreck and he cannot get dd to practice more than half the time. You have offered repeatedly to help dad get dd a ride but he refuses the assistance and as a result, dd misses practices and falls behind the other players. This is in no way the dd's fault.

Now it's the weekend and dd is there with bells on. Do you play her? This is a situation I'm dealing with on a travel team. Even though she's missed numerous practices, she probably has more desire to play the game than most kids on the team. I argue with my wife that I am not being fair to the other kids who do show up for all the practices and work hard by putting her in. She says I can't punish the player because of her dad (similar to your belief).

 

[bringtheheatmom]

Difficult decision

DONT DO IT!! Trust me when I tell you this type of parent you will not change. He will only bring negativity to your team, and may even create havoc amongst the rest of the parents. This in turn could have the rest of the parents turn on you. That is exactly what happened to us. This negative parent had no consideration for my daughter when he tried to get the rest of the team to leave and our team fold and my daughter have no place to play!! What kind of Chrsitian does that?? His daughter and ours go to a Catholic School. You are better off avoiding these types of people if possible. It will make it uncomfortable for his daughter but the rest of the girls on the team...Good Luck!

My DD speaks very highly of the daughter and tells me she has heard nothing but positive comments about her work ethic and play from her current teammates (yes I have been sending my DD out on her own scouting expeditions). Now for those of you who are offended by religious discussions stop reading here.

As a Christian I turn to the bible when confronted with ethical dilemmas. To liberally paraphrase Ezekial 18:20 daughters do not bear the sins of the father (yes you can argue Deuteronomy 5:9 contradicts this but you have to take it in full context that it applies to those who reject God). I cannot in good conscious exclude this girl from the team as she I have been told she exhibits the behaviors I expect in a member of my team. If I did exclude her it would be because of her father and I would be betraying a core tenant of my beliefs. Yes I am probably creating a headache for myself but I am willing to take on that burden. I will carefully word my parent meeting to make it clear that I will deal directly and immediately with code of conduct violations by either players or parents.

 

[stephanie]

1) You've already made up your mind what you are going to do. This is just a good place to put it all in to words, and to get some good advice from people who've been there. I, personally, agree with you. It isn't the girl's fault that her dad is a jerk...PLUS, this is an all-star team team, right? It isn't as if you are asking her to be on your year-round team...

2) Mad Hornet: tough call...How old is the girl? I ask, because at a younger age, girls will take it as if it was THEIR fault, even though you explain OVER and OVER again that it isn't. If she's older, ask her to call you or another parent whenever she needs a ride. (older as in 12-15) Should you sit her out? no...sit her the first inning, then play her. She's good, which means she isn't just sitting at home eating fruit loops all day. She's practicing, albeit not with her team. good luck.

 

[sluggers]

I would take the girl. Punishing the girl because her Daddy is an a**hole isn't appropriate.

I would have a private conversation with the Daddy and tell him, "Your DD is on the team. However, you have to behave yourself. If you don't, you will be banned from these games."

I would be tempted to tease the guy unmercifully about being a crazy daddy.

 

[SnocatzDad]

I would take the girl. Dad hasn't established that he is 100% psycho and if you exclude every kid with a parent with anger management problems you might have trouble fielding a team. Getting upset about a kid getting hurt is forgivable, if he came out swinging because he felt the award should have been 2B instead of 3B then you have a real problem.

 

[Amy in AZ.]

Let us know how this goes.

I have stated my feelings and I, too, am a Christian.

I do want to say, though, that my father was a very angry man. Any attempt for someone to talk to him, direct him, get him to sign a contract, etc. would have made it very rough on me, at home. If a man is acting like you say that he did in public, guess how he is acting at home.

You can't save all of these kids that you come across.

 

[andyh64000]

I would take the girl for the following reasons.

First of all...you can tell him (I would tell all the parents but maybe glance at him more) that you will have a zero tolerance policy for doing anything other that cheering for the players (our district actually has this as a rule for all-stars and anything other than general positive cheering will result in banishment of the parent and possibly the coach).

Secondly, what you witnessed was bad but his heart might have been in the right place as a coach. He was trying to protect his player who had just been hurt. Maybe he can better control himself when he isn't coaching.

Third...it isn't the girl's fault. Don't punish her for the dad. It has been my experience that the kids are extremely embarrassed by this kind of behavior by their parents (I had a girl last year who was in tears because her father was yelling at the ump from the stands).

Finally, she is a top 12 player and she deserves a spot on a LL All-Star team.

 

[fastpitch5]

take the girl and be upfront with dad that his behavior has to be near perfect or he'll face the consequences. unfortunately we all have "this" dad on our team, if not now, we either HAVE or WILL HAVE them at some point. done tactfully, all should be fine.

i recently was on the receiving end of a very bad obstruction...my #1 pitcher laid down a bunt that went a little long down the first base line. opposing pitcher ran to field it and hip-checked my pitcher who was in full stride going down the line. boom! fractured pitching wrist. not saying the girl wanted to hurt my player, but it is still frustrating b/c the hit was clearly intentional.

 

[Coach JV]

Dad will be better outside the fence, ask him to let you coach when she is on the field,
he can coach her in the yard. If not agreeable leave her off who needs more drama