Cutting a player because of parents

[Hyper Henry]

Have any of you cut or not taken a player because you have first hand experience on how much grief and drama her parents have caused in the past (as in last season). FWIW.....this is a 12U travel team and the girl is a very polite and social kid but probably in the middle to bottom of the pack in her softball skils.

Cheers

 

[Cannonball]

Yes! What you have to think about is team unity which isn't going to happen without some sense of parent unity. What eventually happens is that the parents such as you are concerned about just can't show up to games and root their own on. They have to make comments, threaten to leave, talk about other players ... In the end, you end up with a very long summer.

 

[softballphreak]

Unfortunately, it has to be done sometimes. Bad part, many times the player is nothing like the parent. Before I would write a kid off I would at least try to get a feeling of whether the parent would be tolerable. But I would err on the side of "no drama."

Many of the stories I hear about people complaining their DD didn't make the team and she is better than this or that other player I suspect may have had something to do with the parent.

Drama can mess up the best of teams! I've seen good players cut for no other reason than potential drama with a teammate.

 

[playball13]

If I had any doubt about a potential player's parents even if she was a stud player I would not take her. It is just not worth the trouble. I have only so much quality time to put into a team to make it better I don't want to spend any of it doing none productive things such as damage control on an out of control parent. I have seen several coaches go against their better judgement and take a good player with problematic parents. Most have regretted it, some had to get rid of her and her parents mid season and find another player. Not a good situation for anyone.

 

[Bishop]

If the player is already on the team and a parent fails to uphold thier end of the parent agreement that they signed at the begining of the season I will talk with them one time. We have a little sit down and go over the agreement and discuss what was done wrong and that it will not be tolerated. If this or any other situation in breach of the agreement occurs the only place they will be watching thier daughter play is from the center field fence. If they try to push me on that thier kid is on the bench until the parents are out behind center field or gone.

If a player has parents that were dancing on the line of getting 'the talk' the previous season, we have a sit down with the agreement before hand before try-outs are final and put them on notice that thier behavior was disruptive and unappreaciated. If they intend to be a part of the team all such nonsense stopped 10 mintues ago and will never return or they will spend thier season watching thier daughter play from center field. If that is unacceptable to them, then don't accept the position on the team

 

[Coach JV]

I did cut a girl last year like this. She was a nice kid, in the bottom third
skills wise. Her dad was constantly in her ear outside the dugout and was
the infamous 'monday morning quarterback' regarding our play over the weekend.
He thought his DD was among the top 2-3 on the team. I understand that parents see their
kids different than I do, but was he not watching that she had a difficult time with routine
pop-ups in games and never made a play defensively over the 5 weeks she played with us?

Dad was a complainer, mom was invisible

 

[sluggers]

If a coach values her sanity and enjoying a summer of softball more than winning a couple of softball games, then the coach will cut players loose due to their parents.

Winning is better than losing, but winning isn't everything.

 

[Hyper Henry]

Thanks for the feedback everyone. A little back ground on the situation is: I was the assistant coach for this team this year and these parents were nothing but trouble from about mid season. The usual BS, "my daughter should be playing more", "she's the best first baseman you got", spreading all kinds of drama during games in the stands, even went as far as centering their daughter out during a game while she happened to be sitting and pulled her out of a tourney we were in etc etc etc. They were so hard on the head coach (female) she end up quiting so myself and the other assistant took over the team for the remainder of the season. The team itself has been very succesful this season and have a great group of girls that have alot of fun. These parents were actually on the coaching staff at the begining of the season (assistant coach and manager) but they ended up quiting!!! The last tourney we were in I receieved a call at midnight on my cell phone by the dad and just having a strip tore off my back because of lack of playing time for his daughter etc etc. I just explained the situtation and we as coaches feel she is not our strongest player and definately not our strongest first baseman. Then this guy has the nerve to say "fine you tell my kid this" and put his 11 year old daughter on the phone at midnight!!! And we had a game the next morning at 8:30am!!! Actually for being put on the spot the conversation between her and I went quit well so it's obviously her parents that are the problem. I have applied for the head coaching job for next year and if I get it I told my wife there is no way I can take their kid on the team with her parents being involved even if we are short players .

 

[Amy in AZ.]

This reminds me of the mom I meant recently, that yells "Forget about the team. Just go coast to coast!". (baketball)

 

[starsnuffer]

Yes. Last year I cut a girl because her father would not keep his mouth shut in the stands, would get emotional, and swear like a sailor. Spoke to him twice, cut him the third time. I almost got ejected from a game as coach because he was carrying on in the stands on "our side".

That's an extreme case, but honestly if you have to spend time away from your players to deal with parent drama, then it's hurting the whole team.

-W