Commit then say no??

[radness]

You're totally right and I agree...and feel terrible about it.

These stories help others!
Appreciate that you would speak up now!

 

[radness]

Don't. Coaches don't like the game parents play and parents don't like the game coaches play.

Doesnt make it the right thing nor ok to do.
Reputations do follow people.

 

[clarity]

This past week I had 8 players and parents show up for a tryout. (3 to 4 players who already said yes werent there). At the end of the tryout, me, my staff (consisisting of me, my close friend with 10 years coaching and 2 former college players and the head of the organization) sat down with the 8, offered spots to all and went over all the details including costs, tournaments, uniforms, winter workouts, etc).At the end of the meeting we asked if everyone is in and we would be set. Everyone said yes and that they are commited..I laid out the 1st 5 to 6 practices. The next two days I get 4 parents saying they not playing for me or the organization. Is the new reality that you say yes then no? To me it screws over the players who said yes. I am just an old school coach who thinks once you say yes, you are in?

I find it strange that 4 of 8 players contacted you within 48 hours, apparently saying they would not play for you personally (or the org), and you're thinking this is an issue with the players/parents???

 

[prsboogie]

I find it strange that 4 of 8 players contacted you within 48 hours, apparently saying they would not play for you personally (or the org), and you're thinking this is an issue with the players/parents???

Maybe they felt intimidated to say no to their faces. MANY PEOPLE are not comfortable with conflict (although I'm sure they are fine mouthing off on the interwebz) and after discussion in more alone felt they would be better served elsewhere.

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[Tide_will_Roll]

My daughter's former coach last season asked for the team to all give him a hard commitment prior to the end of the season. Only one family did so.

This made him angry. From what other parents have told me they wanted to evaluate their daughters' options ( same as us). While the former coach was mad almost nobody wanted to commit to him, my wife and I felt better about not committing then saying ok only to back out later.

In the long run, we, my wife, daughter and I, knew we'd be leaving no matter what.

 

[canyonjoe]

I think it's wrong to expect an answer on the spot. You know kids are trying out for different teams. I think it's more reasonable to give a 48 hour deadline. If you are a good coach you'll get a lot on the spot without forcing them to make a decision. If you force the decision you will have this happen.

 

[CrazyNani]

Just some suggestions:

1. Already committed players should be at tryout. As a parent of a prospective player, I would want to see what entire team looked like. Plus, it's just a practice opportunity for the committed players.

2. You have to address each prospective player individually (not as a group). In my opinion, emails are not appropriate for this. A telephone call to each player/family as soon as possible after the tryout is the way to go. If you do not get a commitment during the call, a very short (2 day) decision period should be given.

3. Make sure you can intelligently talk about the following during telephone conversation:
- Cost for participating on team.
- Playing time/position philosophy.
- Tournament schedule (not specific tournaments but local vs national and about how many).
- Practice schedule and attendance expectations.
- Expectations of parent behavior.
- Provide written team rul

 

[hipnix]

Doesnt make it the right thing nor ok to do.
Reputations do follow people.

When is standing up for your daughter not the right thing?

Does it make it harder for a coach when a player de-commits? Sure.

Does it make it harder for a family when a coach adjusts their tryout so it conflicts with every other tryout at that age group? Sure.
Does it make it harder for a family when a coach texts a 16u girl directly giving them 24 hours to commit? Sure
Does it make it harder for a family when a current coach tells them they will lose their spot if they find out they went to another tryout? Sure.
Does it make it harder for a family when a coach post ads for pickup players weeks after the team has been formed? Sure.

Like I said, nobody likes how the tryout games are played but everybody plays them, so nobody should be upset when they get burned. If you think de-committing from a team prior to the first check being cashed is going to ruin a reputation, you've been out of travel ball for too long.

 

[CrazyNani]

The coach called our player directly to offer a position. This was after the second day of try outs. Within 2 days, an e-mail went out to all parents of players that had accepted, outlining everything, costs, expectations, player/parent contracts attached, organizational philosophy, fall practice/tournament schedule, all of it. Once accepted and deposits made, within 3 days, there are no refunds if you back out and the full fee will be collected if necessary. This was quite eye opening but the discipline and commitment expected was welcomed.

 

[ang2bmd]

You offered every player at your tryout. To me as a parent unless you had a tryout full of amazing talent, you are desperate to have a team, any team, regardless of talent or personality. Collect phone numbers and emails. Contact everyone individually with small numbers. Offers individually and rejections in a group if the numbers are too large. I would have never said yes to someone that offered every kid immediately at a tryout.

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