Commit then say no??

[Anthony Vertuccio]

This past week I had 8 players and parents show up for a tryout. (3 to 4 players who already said yes werent there). At the end of the tryout, me, my staff (consisisting of me, my close friend with 10 years coaching and 2 former college players and the head of the organization) sat down with the 8, offered spots to all and went over all the details including costs, tournaments, uniforms, winter workouts, etc).At the end of the meeting we asked if everyone is in and we would be set. Everyone said yes and that they are commited..I laid out the 1st 5 to 6 practices. The next two days I get 4 parents saying they not playing for me or the organization. Is the new reality that you say yes then no? To me it screws over the players who said yes. I am just an old school coach who thinks once you say yes, you are in?

 

[_MIA_]

This past week I had 8 players and parents show up for a tryout. (3 to 4 players who already said yes werent there). At the end of the tryout, me, my staff (consisisting of me, my close friend with 10 years coaching and 2 former college players and the head of the organization) sat down with the 8, offered spots to all and went over all the details including costs, tournaments, uniforms, winter workouts, etc).At the end of the meeting we asked if everyone is in and we would be set. Everyone said yes and that they are commited..I laid out the 1st 5 to 6 practices. The next two days I get 4 parents saying they not playing for me or the organization. Is the new reality that you say yes then no? To me it screws over the players who said yes. I am just an old school coach who thinks once you say yes, you are in?

Group dynamics..you could ask a group if they all had 3 eyes and if the first person who spoke said yes the rest would likely follow suit.

 

[whiporee]

Yeah, that's why coffee is for closers only.

Just kidding. No one should be closing families in these situations. I'm sure they just didn't want to say no to you in person, but when they got home they thought about it and changed their minds. On the spot decisions are fragile; be proud of the fact you kept half of them.

You didn't ask advice but I'll offer some: if you want solid commitments, lay out everything in an email and send it immediately so it's waiting on their computers when they get home. The speed shows the urgency of your interest, but letting them read everything over on their own shows you have confidence in your position when it's explained. You can put a two-day clock on it if you want, but there's nothing wrong with showing you aren't stressing their decision.

 

[radness]

The lack of integrity toward commitment is noticeably evident in current times.

 

[radness]

This past week I had 8 players and parents show up for a tryout. (3 to 4 players who already said yes werent there). At the end of the tryout, me, my staff (consisisting of me, my close friend with 10 years coaching and 2 former college players and the head of the organization) sat down with the 8, offered spots to all and went over all the details including costs, tournaments, uniforms, winter workouts, etc).At the end of the meeting we asked if everyone is in and we would be set. Everyone said yes and that they are commited..I laid out the 1st 5 to 6 practices. The next two days I get 4 parents saying they not playing for me or the organization. Is the new reality that you say yes then no? To me it screws over the players who said yes. I am just an old school coach who thinks once you say yes, you are in?

Good question in that
' is the new reality that you say yes then no?'

Also have been trying to grasp this question to seek its root for solution to it.

The consequences to when this
waivering commitment crept in the door,
and integrity walked out...
Is going to be coaches pissed off
Reacting in ways to make yes more binding or add repercussion.

Perhaps this becomes standard~
Coach/instructor asks
Do you want to play/attend?
Family/player say
YES, at THE SAME TIME
they IN THE MOMENT OF SPEAKING
1. Sign a contract
2. Pay fee's upfront
3. Hand shake looking eachother in the eye's.
(#1 & #2 because not certain if #3 means anything anymore to everybody?!)

On tryout posting may read
Be prepaired to say yes if offered a spot &
Be prepaired to pay non refundable start-up fee.

Maybe this will get people to think for even a moment befor blurting out a false response that actually does have a repercussion.
And then the yes'no response will atleast give the team some bankroll/support to start with.
Keep in mind this is/was NEVER something i would consider saying in the past!
Without being able to lock roster names in the moment...
is there any other way?

 

[krazykat]

Just some suggestions:

1. Already committed players should be at tryout. As a parent of a prospective player, I would want to see what entire team looked like. Plus, it's just a practice opportunity for the committed players.

2. You have to address each prospective player individually (not as a group). In my opinion, emails are not appropriate for this. A telephone call to each player/family as soon as possible after the tryout is the way to go. If you do not get a commitment during the call, a very short (2 day) decision period should be given.

3. Make sure you can intelligently talk about the following during telephone conversation:
- Cost for participating on team.
- Playing time/position philosophy.
- Tournament schedule (not specific tournaments but local vs national and about how many).
- Practice schedule and attendance expectations.
- Expectations of parent behavior.
- Provide written team rules.

 

[CMMom1740]

Families need time to discuss big commitments. What if the cost was too much but it was embarrassing to the player and/or parents to admit that in front of a group of other people? I don't think it's fair to expect people to make on the spot decisions that will affect the whole family for a year or longer. I concur with those who say phone calls to each family are appropriate. Give them a chance to have their questions answered before they commit their time and money.

 

[radness]

Just some suggestions:

1. Already committed players should be at tryout. As a parent of a prospective player, I would want to see what entire team looked like. Plus, it's just a practice opportunity for the committed players.

2. You have to address each prospective player individually (not as a group). In my opinion, emails are not appropriate for this. A telephone call to each player/family as soon as possible after the tryout is the way to go. If you do not get a commitment during the call, a very short (2 day) decision period should be given.

3. Make sure you can intelligently talk about the following during telephone conversation:
- Cost for participating on team.
- Playing time/position philosophy.
- Tournament schedule (not specific tournaments but local vs national and about how many).
- Practice schedule and attendance expectations.
- Expectations of parent behavior.
- Provide written team rules.

These things are well and good!
Even with that unfortunetly a verbal yes
still does not formally make a commitment for certain people.
Because there are people who will say yes to 5 teams. Take there kid to a tryout while texting about another team.

As for team tryouts
The op seemed pretty well organized in feedback.
In fact more so than others.
That said even if someone felt peer pressured by group mob mentality... in an awkward financial moment or any other excuse
There is no excuse for saying
Yes
When its Maybe but need to chat further.

 

[_MIA_]

That said even if someone felt peer pressured by group mob mentality... in an awkward financial moment or any other excuse
There is no excuse for saying
Yes

Right..people do all kinds of inexcusable things all the time. The question is how does one limit their liability with this in mind..and others have made good points towards this cause. Asking for a yes/no in a group setting is just asking for trouble.

 

[_MIA_]

You should see our faculty meetings during a show of hands yes/no vote..everybody is looking around to see how everybody else is voting..it is amusing.