- Jan 25, 2011
- 2,278
- 38
I'm very conservative for the most part. So that being said, it is none of my business as a coach. I don't like the school or other people to tell me how to raise my child, so I honor others.
The difference between drinking and the neck mark is that one is illegal and one is not. That's pretty clear-cut.
I agree the line is based on our views. But it's not my place as coach to impose my morality or beliefs on your kid. That's your job as the parent.
With all due respect, I don't think it's that clear cut. If you overheard a parent talking about letting their underage DD have a drink (which I do not agree with), I would doubt that you would confront the issue. So, simply being illegal or not doesn't draw a clear line, imo.
When you start into the realm of illegal I do not believe you can turn a blind eye. They can do whatever they want, on someone else's team.
I do not want that influence, both from the parents and the player coming into play with the rest of the team. Moral is subjective, illegal is not.
It's an opportunity to reach out and offer some quidance to a girl who might need it. You never know what someone's home life is like and maybe she could use a reliable adult in her life.
Just playing Devil advocate here, but would you kick a kid off the team for doing 70 mph in a 55? It's illegal. If not, illegal is subjective.
Just so I'm clear, I agree the coaches have a fine line to walk here. Personally, I wouldn't care one bit if the coach spoke with my DD about a hickey, but that's me. I also wouldn't be offended if they didn't say a word. I'm simply saying we use the word "illegal" when it suits us the best. It's just not that cut and dry. We're not talking about felonies here.
Would you kick a kid off the team for the neck bruise?
I don't think we're talking about kicking anyone off the team for any of the offenses. Even drinking on a first offense. We're talking about whether you would sit down with the kid and have a discussion about it. Or offer some form of punishment.
It is simply my opinion that if it's an issue of morality, and not illegal, it's up to the parents to deal with it, not the coach. You have more grounds on which to base the choice if the action is illegal.
Unless, of course, you know that parental involvement is non-existent as sadly is the case sometimes. In the absence of a parent I might check into it a little more. I wouldn't care about the neck bruise itself. Only if it seems to be an indication of other bad choices. I would still err on the side of caution, however. I certainly wouldn't want to hear that some decided to lecture my kid on morality regarding something that I don't find to be a problem.