DD will never play for 1 Team period, Lake of communication.
Coaches -- Please Communicate with Your Players
- Thread starter BobInMadison
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Communication regarding logistics (game times/place, changes of venue, which uniforms to wear, etc...) need to go to parents. I like GroupMe (app on the phone) for that type of quick information. As far as more substantive stuff, I think at 14U and up, girls should try to talk to coaches first. DD has had some success with handling stuff on her own, but not always.
Our new TB coach is not big on emails, which drives me nuts, personally, but I understand that everyone's style is different. I'm a planner and am having to work on "going with the flow." We'll see how it goes.
Our new TB coach is not big on emails, which drives me nuts, personally, but I understand that everyone's style is different. I'm a planner and am having to work on "going with the flow." We'll see how it goes.
- Jun 11, 2015
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As a coach I have no problem communicating anything to the parents. I like talking to the parents about their questions and concerns. Line up, playing time whatever. Parents are paying good money for travel ball. Many parents dont have a good understanding of the game and a little education helps them understand the decision making. Maybe the parents have a valid concern and they will help me get better. If I cant simply justify my decisions I shouldnt be making them. Parent- "Why isnt johnny batting in the 3 hole" coach-" johnny has lots of potential but he is 1 for 16 this season. When he heats up he will bat higher. Thank you for talking to me Mr. Parent. If you have any more questions please ask." I dont understand why so many coaches are scared of parents.
- Feb 7, 2014
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Yes, yes they are (waving good bye to all that money).
It drives me nuts the general thinking seems to be the older the child gets, the less communication is needed with the parents.
My main priority is to prepare my daughter to handle life on her own and I fully support having her take as much responsibility as she's capable. However, while she is still under my roof and I'm paying the bills and I'm still responsible for her well-being, I expect to be kept in the loop on a regular basis.
And no...I am NOT a helicopter parent nor have I confronted a coach even when I disagreed with something (as long as said act was not illegal, immoral, or fattening).
To put another way, we - the family - are paying customers and deserve to be treated as such.
My main priority is to prepare my daughter to handle life on her own and I fully support having her take as much responsibility as she's capable. However, while she is still under my roof and I'm paying the bills and I'm still responsible for her well-being, I expect to be kept in the loop on a regular basis.
And no...I am NOT a helicopter parent nor have I confronted a coach even when I disagreed with something (as long as said act was not illegal, immoral, or fattening).
To put another way, we - the family - are paying customers and deserve to be treated as such.
I am very curious about this. Just trying to understand. To set the background, I have been coaching various sports since my daughter was 5 years old (basketball, soccer, tee ball, and softball). Initially I did not enter the arena by my request. Our local rec leagues had a difficult time finding volunteer coaches and I was approached by each to help out. So I did, and have enjoyed the opportunity. All throughout this time I have, and still do, communicate with the parents on a regular basis. Granted, the amount of communication has changed over the years, but the communication is still there. For example, when I coached a 12u rec ball team, ALL of my texts and emails were addressed to the parents. If we scheduled a practice, it was the parents that needed to find a way to make sure their daughter/son (yes I have coached both) was in attendance. At this point I coach an 18u travel ball team. While I still communicate quite often with the parents, the practice schedule is handled by a group text directly with the players. Each of them now drives themselves to practice, and I rarely see a parent at practice. I assume (I realize that is dangerous) that the players then communicate this information with their parents. Even though I have coached since DD was 5, she has also played for several other coaches/teams as well. When she became a freshmen in high school, the basketball coach and the softball coach communicated directly with her. We rarely received any type of notification from the coaching staff directly. If a game was cancelled, DD was notified, and then notified us. DD does an excellent job of passing along these messages. (In full disclosure, I did become a member of the high school coaching staff when DD was a sophomore (was requested by coach, not by me.... ) But even then, much of the communication went to DD, not me. I remember the head coach asking me about that one time. Something like "OMG, sorry I forgot to copy you on that". My response was "no problem, my daughter told me".
So in my long winded way, I guess I am asking if it is too much to ask that the players pass along certain messages to the parents?
I don't disagree with any of this. As mentioned in a previous post, I am just trying to better understand the parent's side of this. Currently on my 18u team, I have an open line of communication with each and every player. When changes are made, I do my best to explain the reasons with the players. Our lineup changes from game to game based on who is playing/pitching, so that really isn't something I discuss unless someone asks a question. I also don't shy away from parent's questions. And I have never seen the need for a 24 hour cool off period, although I certainly understand why some teams utilize it. It has never been an issue for me. We play a game, have a very short team meeting afterwards (I hate long team meetings after games), and then I am available for questions from anyone about anything. I know the parents on our team very well and have a good relationship with each. I cannot honestly remember any "difficult" situations or conversations in my experience as a head coach.
High school ball is a complete different story. Even when DD was a freshman and I was not a member of the coaching staff, I had parents coming up to me (that i coached previously) asking me why the coach put Maggie in left field, or why Veronica was batting 8th. I guess since I coached their daughter 5 years earlier, they thought I somehow knew the answer. Typically I would explain that high school sports work differently than rec ball and said they really should take up their questions with an actual member of the coaching staff. Whether or not they actually did, I have no idea. But my guess is that they did not. As I gained more experience with the high school program, I began to realize that yes, MANY parents do ask questions CONSTANTLY!!!!. Most of the questions I heard were "my daughter is a senior, why is a freshmen playing ahead of her"? Or, "the team has four games scheduled this week, why do you have to schedule practices on top of that?" Of course, once an answer is given by the head coach, they immediately bash her in the sound-off section of the newspaper. Frankly, I would like to nominate our high school head coach for sainthood for putting up with all of this. She does an awesome job and the way she is treated by the parents blows my mind.
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Too much? No way. The older they get, the more they need to own their sport/activity/life.
But you said it yourself--it's dangerous to assume the girls will communicate correctly with the parents.
Recently, my DD was asked if she was available on a certain weekend for a tourney. Without our knowledge.
More frequently, practices are changed or added last minute.
My DD isn't in charge of the family calendar and the impact to others' schedules. She also doesn't control the family budget and the impact of an extra tourney.
Also, I'm seeing its assumed that older girls have automatic access to a car and car insurance, and can drive whenever wherever.
I think we can all agree a coach that doesn't communicate and leaves the parents in the dark opens the door for unnecessary speculation, questions, and confusion. This can lead to mis-trust, frustration and in some cases, outright anger.
I'm just expecting common courtesy and common sense; a weekly email with the general schedule for the week and other pertinent team organizational info. Then a team group text to inform all of last minute changes. It's 2017. These things really should be almost automatic. No more technology excuses.
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- Jul 14, 2017
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I find that HS coaches don't share ANY information with the parents.[/QUOTE]
Learning this the hard way! With the exception of a 5 minute parent meeting, no information was directly given to us. The online calendar isn’t always updated, as is the other social media apps that are supposed to be used. Drives me crazy to rely on DD for info on practice times/shirt colors, etc! And I don’t want to send an email for fear of being “that parent”.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Learning this the hard way! With the exception of a 5 minute parent meeting, no information was directly given to us. The online calendar isn’t always updated, as is the other social media apps that are supposed to be used. Drives me crazy to rely on DD for info on practice times/shirt colors, etc! And I don’t want to send an email for fear of being “that parent”.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
I guess I should count my blessings... DD is currently a senior in HS and we have never had any issues like the ones you are talking about. Even when she was a freshmen playing varsity basketball. DW and I had zero contact with the coaching staff, but DD did a great job of keeping us informed. I guess it has never been a concern for us because it has never been a problem for us.
