At a crossroad

[Eric F]

Sounds like her coach is trying to go with the " shotgun" approach to try and get the players recruited at any school as opposed to doing what's right for them. Might be either ego or organizational pressure. IDK.

This is a fairly common tactic, in our observation.

 

[CrazyNani]

You know, what I really think the issue is, all of the above, but wondering if playing softball in college will give her the life she envisions for herself at this point. This was her first time on a higher level of travel ball and it really opened her eyes to what the demands would be. She has other interests, snowboarding, basketball, her social life. I think she thinks she'll have to give all of that up for the big push to make a college team and maybe, it's just her unwillingness to commit to that at this point. She doesn't want to mislead the coach into thinking anything else and hasn't. I think they expect her to get over it, (coaches are female, btw). So, it's basically a personal decision that she needs to make. I will be heartbroken if she chooses not to play travel but will look forward to her high school career that she definitely wants to play. Varsity coach however, is the coach of the 18u level of her travel ball team so, hope she doesn't hold not playing TB against her. Almost half of that team's players are on her high school Varsity team which almost won the county last year. We'll see what happens. Life will go on in any case. Thank you for everyone's input. : )

 

[CrazyNani]

The truth is there are players that are capable of playing at D1 schools and choose not to do so for various reasons. What's worse is there are players that are not capable of playing D1 but have been led to believe anything less is a failure. Thats sad.

And there are those that are capable of playing D1 or any other level and end up quitting because they were pushed too hard and it basically killed the joy. Perhaps that's what sets the ones that play apart. You can't kill that drive in them. I think I'll start pushing my 5 year old grandson now, knowing now what will be expected of him by the time he reaches 14 years of age. His dad got drafted so, maybe he inherited something. Doesn't seem so, yet...

 

[Eric F]

You know, what I really think the issue is, all of the above, but wondering if playing softball in college will give her the life she envisions for herself at this point. This was her first time on a higher level of travel ball and it really opened her eyes to what the demands would be. She has other interests, snowboarding, basketball, her social life. I think she thinks she'll have to give all of that up for the big push to make a college team and maybe, it's just her unwillingness to commit to that at this point. She doesn't want to mislead the coach into thinking anything else and hasn't. I think they expect her to get over it, (coaches are female, btw). So, it's basically a personal decision that she needs to make. I will be heartbroken if she chooses not to play travel but will look forward to her high school career that she definitely wants to play. Varsity coach however, is the coach of the 18u level of her travel ball team so, hope she doesn't hold not playing TB against her. Almost half of that team's players are on her high school Varsity team which almost won the county last year. We'll see what happens. Life will go on in any case. Thank you for everyone's input. : )

The best thing you can do is keep an open and honest dialog going with her. Help her sort out what SHE really wants, and be supportive of her direction (unless it's something totally dumb - LOL). At her age, she doesn't have to know what that direction is. Hell, my kid is less than a year away from college, and she's still trying to figure it out. Maybe work with some of these questions to get things going...

Do you want to go to college?
IS there a academic/career path that interests you?
Do you know what part of the country you want to be in?

"I don't know" is an acceptable answer, but working towards a concrete answer should be the goal for any of those.

 

[YOCOACH]

Uhhh.....You might want to try this.
It's fun, can be done instantly, and in a group. No homework or research involved.

Have the players close their eyes, picturing themselves in college. Then ask:

- Where are you? in a classroom? in a lab? dorm? somewhere else on campus?

- How big is the school? Lots of kids? Not a lot of kids? Big campus? Small campus? Hilly? Flat?

- Where is the school? In a city? suburb? rural?

- What's the weather like? Cold/snow? Summery/springlike?

OK, open your eyes.

Based on your answers, you've now eliminated 80% of all colleges.

Now look at the other 20% and see if they have a major you might be interested in. For those that do have a major that looks interesting, check if they have softball and contact the coach if you think you might want to play there.

****************************************

*I did not come up with this. Sue Enquist did this exercise live with our TB org several years ago, as part of a talk she gave on college recruiting. Her verbal intro was something like "You already know where you want to go to college and I can prove it to you."

I really like that! Thanks for sharing! Unfortunately, living in Ohio's snowbelt would squarely put the trying to play in Florida while wanting to come home on weekends off and holidays. Their parents can't afford that so...
Driving an hour and a half is much more doable for them and far cheaper...at least it used to be

 

[Nimrod]

She's been honest about her confusion about playing in college.

btw, on my post, I hope you didn't hear that as me saying she was being dishonest. My point was just that it's important for the coach to know how she feels about it, and vice-versa. Sounds like you're saying the coaches keep pushing her despite knowing how she feels?

I hear what you're saying about it being sad that this could end her travel ball career. Sounds like she's not interested in finding another team. Unfortunately, this is probably the main reason why players come and go from teams of all levels. Either the team becomes more serious than the player wants it to be, or the team isn't serious enough for the player. It's always about finding teams with like-minded goals and attitudes.

My DD always felt her teams weren't serious enough until she got on a team full of college-committed players, including herself, and then she decided she wasn't that serious and decided to be a ''regular student" in college.

Your DGD will figure it out. Hopefully she can still have fun in travel ball, but my guess is she'll find a bunch of fun stuff she's been missing if she decides to forego it.

 

[CrazyNani]

Are you sure she hasn’t been reading Grandma’s posts on here about TB and that is the reason she doesn’t want to play…?

Sad for you...

 

[_MIA_]

Sad for you...

Thanks for your pity. You deem your 1st response to my post not good enough?

You have started two threads which show your disdain for TB even though you tried to hide it with “questions”. I agree it is certainly imperfect but it isn’t about whether you like it or not, it is whether or not your DGD enjoys it. It sounds like she is currently in a situation she is not enjoying. However if she still enjoys playing the game she will probably regret quitting something she enjoys..there are other teams out there where the coach is not going to put this sort of pressure on her.

 

[Shawn]

Is this the only TB team available for for her? If the environment of this team is squeezing the fun out of the game for her, I highly suggest she finds a team where she is more comfortable, and can keep having fun playing the game.

Much of TB tends to push the idea that the goal is to play the highest level of college softball available to them. The reality is that D1 ball isn't always the right fit, even for really talented players, and for some, not playing at all in college is the right choice.

Yes, I always say to have fun. You have to make it fun.

 

[flash277]

Is is just me or is it some sort of unwritten rule that if you play TB, you MUST play in college? I, like just about every parent of a T B player, start out thinking DD is going to play in college. D D wanted to play in college when she started 12u, more interested in 14u, less interested in 16u, and quit T B after first year 18u,. The older age got, she just wasn't having fun anymore playin g, plis she reached that age of dating, driving, workng, so softball wasnt as important as it once was. I was bummed when she quit (but I got over it, I umpire). I didn't see all the money and miles and time We spend together as a waste, it was all good, great memories. She still gonna play her senior year in high school and have fun, and she already looking to play club or intramural softball in college.

I m probably the only one here (definitely the only one responding
here) that's says, if she want s to quit, let her quit, don't pressure her to play if she she doesn't want to. Life does go on.