At a crossroad

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Oct 3, 2019
364
43
Granddaughter isn’t sure she should play on her team next Summer. It seems the coach is adamant that the girls all want to play in college and should be focusing efforts in that direction now, contacting colleges, setting up recruiting profiles, etc. She is a freshman and this past Fall was her first experience with A level TB. She wants to play but isn’t yet sure she wants to play in college. The constant push from the coach has felt overwhelming at times and makes her feel what I think is unnecessary pressure at this point. Needless to say, she feels that maybe she shouldn’t play TB at all now if playing in college isn’t her #1 goal. Should she just step aside? She plans to play JV in Spring regardless. It just makes her feel bad that her goals aren’t firm yet. My feeling is, how about inspiring a girl to want to play in college instead of making her feel like quitting, but that’s just me.
 
Mar 4, 2015
526
93
New England
Has she discussed it with the coach?

Maybe say, 'I'm not sure I want to play in college. Is that OK?'

Ideally, the player and coach know where each other stand and aren't guessing. In fact, if the coach assumes everyone wants to play in college, and establishes a team for that purpose, and the player really doesn't want to play, then she's keeping a secret that he should know. Not criticizing that, as it's tough being assertive in that situation, but the secret is causing a lot of stress.
 
May 24, 2013
12,461
113
So Cal
Is this the only TB team available for for her? If the environment of this team is squeezing the fun out of the game for her, I highly suggest she finds a team where she is more comfortable, and can keep having fun playing the game.

Much of TB tends to push the idea that the goal is to play the highest level of college softball available to them. The reality is that D1 ball isn't always the right fit, even for really talented players, and for some, not playing at all in college is the right choice.
 
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Oct 3, 2011
3,478
113
Right Here For Now
As a coach of a second year 14U A-/B+ team, I understand what your coach is trying to achieve. I have also started that leg of the journey with my players. There are several key differences. First, I know which of my players definitely want to play at the next level, which players may want to play at that level and which ones don't think that they do. Secondly, we are taking it in baby steps since I am realistic enough to realize that a majority of my players are MM D1 down to D3 which gives us plenty of time. For instance, last weeks homework for my entire team was to pick a geographic area they want to go to college in. In other words, within a certain drive or flight radius of home. The reason I have my entire team doing this is because I want all of my players thinking about going to college in the future whether they play ball or not. In a couple of weeks, I'll have them make a list of 5-6 possible career choices thay might like to have. After that, we'll move on to having them start to reasearch the top 3 colleges within their geopraphic areas for each of their areas of interest. By Summer, the ones that want to play or think they might at the college level will be initiating contact with those schools. Just a short and simple introctory email including our TB schedule. Those players that don't, won't. If nothing else, it will focus my team firmly on their future. This might be a path for your DGD to go down that might also appease the coach. Your DGD will feel a bit more in control and less overwhelmed by the experience. If it doesn't appease the coach, then move on. The most important thing is to initiate and maintain contact with the coaches of the schools she may be interested in. It doesn't necessarily have to happen this year but I would suggest that it should if nothing else than a short and simple introductory email including the Summer schedule. If not this year, then next year at the latest. Also make it plain to her that just because she is going to do that doesn't mean she's actually committed to playing for those schools. It's sort of like an insurance policy. Just because you have one doesn't mean you need to use it.
 
Sep 3, 2015
372
63
Perfectly fine to not know if she wants to play in college or not. Why not start the process anyway just in case? Creating a profile and sending out emails isn’t that hard or time consuming. Maybe she can get some help getting started?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
Jul 31, 2015
761
93
As a coach of a second year 14U A-/B+ team, I understand what your coach is trying to achieve. I have also started that leg of the journey with my players. There are several key differences. First, I know which of my players definitely want to play at the next level, which players may want to play at that level and which ones don't think that they do. Secondly, we are taking it in baby steps since I am realistic enough to realize that a majority of my players are MM D1 down to D3 which gives us plenty of time. For instance, last weeks homework for my entire team was to pick a geographic area they want to go to college in. In other words, within a certain drive or flight radius of home. The reason I have my entire team doing this is because I want all of my players thinking about going to college in the future whether they play ball or not. In a couple of weeks, I'll have them make a list of 5-6 possible career choices thay might like to have. After that, we'll move on to having them start to reasearch the top 3 colleges within their geopraphic areas for each of their areas of interest. By Summer, the ones that want to play or think they might at the college level will be initiating contact with those schools. Just a short and simple introctory email including our TB schedule. Those players that don't, won't. If nothing else, it will focus my team firmly on their future. This might be a path for your DGD to go down that might also appease the coach. Your DGD will feel a bit more in control and less overwhelmed by the experience. If it doesn't appease the coach, then move on. The most important thing is to initiate and maintain contact with the coaches of the schools she may be interested in. It doesn't necessarily have to happen this year but I would suggest that it should if nothing else than a short and simple introductory email including the Summer schedule. If not this year, then next year at the latest. Also make it plain to her that just because she is going to do that doesn't mean she's actually committed to playing for those schools. It's sort of like an insurance policy. Just because you have one doesn't mean you need to use it.

Uhhh.....You might want to try this.
It's fun, can be done instantly, and in a group. No homework or research involved.

Have the players close their eyes, picturing themselves in college. Then ask:

- Where are you? in a classroom? in a lab? dorm? somewhere else on campus?

- How big is the school? Lots of kids? Not a lot of kids? Big campus? Small campus? Hilly? Flat?

- Where is the school? In a city? suburb? rural?

- What's the weather like? Cold/snow? Summery/springlike?

OK, open your eyes.

Based on your answers, you've now eliminated 80% of all colleges.

Now look at the other 20% and see if they have a major you might be interested in. For those that do have a major that looks interesting, check if they have softball and contact the coach if you think you might want to play there.

****************************************

*I did not come up with this. Sue Enquist did this exercise live with our TB org several years ago, as part of a talk she gave on college recruiting. Her verbal intro was something like "You already know where you want to go to college and I can prove it to you."
 
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