At a crossroad

[chinamigarden]

Actually, she has already set up a profile and e-mailed 10 colleges, during her Fall season. Then was given another assignment of coming up with 30 additional colleges, placed in 3 categories. She literally couldn't think of 30 colleges at this point. She's been honest about her confusion about playing in college. She's always been one that needs self confidence to perform well and this has made her feel bad about herself, like not being sure about playing in college makes her "less than". Not a optimal mind set to play. Anyway, it's fine. She gets it and just might bow out to make room for some other 14 year old that has her life planned out already.

ally,

My dd told me at age 14 that she wasn’t going to play college ball. She could have. I know this because plenty of coaches told me she could and she played with plenty of girls who did. But it wasn’t what my dd wanted. She wanted an academic life.
But she still played travel and HS. She wound up picking a school based on the academic program she wanted. She stopped playing ball, her senior year HS season was going to be her last season of ball.
She went to college, made it into the difficult program she wanted and discovered she missed sports, softball in particular.
She tried out for the club team and that fit her life perfectly. Club was a good fit for her, the team was good , they went to the nationals both years she played. And eventually her class and work load became to great for her to continue playing.
So 5 years after graduating HS she graduated from college with a bachelors and a masters both in engineering. And she had the opportunity to play more ball without quite the same time obligation. It worked out for her. It’s a great fit fir a lot of players.
Playing for a college isn’t the only possible goal for a HS ball player. If it was most HSs wouldn’t be able to field a team.

 

[CrazyNani]

Thanks for your pity. You deem your 1st response to my post not good enough?

You have started two threads which show your disdain for TB even though you tried to hide it with “questions”. I agree it is certainly imperfect but it isn’t about whether you like it or not, it is whether or not your DGD enjoys it. It sounds like she is currently in a situation she is not enjoying. However if she still enjoys playing the game she will probably regret quitting something she enjoys..there are other teams out there where the coach is not going to put this sort of pressure on her.

You deleted the second response. I wasn't allowed to respond to it when I reread it; it was already gone so, I went back to the first. Not sure why it got put up twice. Why don't you put that responses back up? Did you have second thoughts about it? In any case, I appreciate the deep dive into my past comments about travel ball in general. To think, I was feeling somewhat irrelevant here.
To be clear, I have no disdain for any form of softball. I simply had some questions. You seem very sensitive.

 

[_MIA_]

You deleted the second response. I wasn't allowed to respond to it when I reread it; it was already gone so, I went back to the first. Not sure why it got put up twice. Why don't you put that responses back up? Did you have second thoughts about it? In any case, I appreciate the deep dive into my past comments about travel ball in general. To think, I was feeling somewhat irrelevant here.

I deleted it because I shouldn’t have said it, yes.

 

[kennykozman!!]

Uhhh.....You might want to try this.
It's fun, can be done instantly, and in a group. No homework or research involved.

Have the players close their eyes, picturing themselves in college. Then ask:

- Where are you? in a classroom? in a lab? dorm? somewhere else on campus?

- How big is the school? Lots of kids? Not a lot of kids? Big campus? Small campus? Hilly? Flat?

- Where is the school? In a city? suburb? rural?

- What's the weather like? Cold/snow? Summery/springlike?

OK, open your eyes.

Based on your answers, you've now eliminated 80% of all colleges.

Now look at the other 20% and see if they have a major you might be interested in. For those that do have a major that looks interesting, check if they have softball and contact the coach if you think you might want to play there.

****************************************

*I did not come up with this. Sue Enquist did this exercise live with our TB org several years ago, as part of a talk she gave on college recruiting. Her verbal intro was something like "You already know where you want to go to college and I can prove it to you."

Thanks for sharing. Idiot Dads like me just do not think like this...or maybe its just me

 

[radness]

It just makes her feel bad that her goals aren’t firm yet. My feeling is, how about inspiring a girl to want to play in college instead of making her feel like quitting, but that’s just me.

Acknowledging there are many different paths in the Walk of Life. And different types of teams, coaches, players, parents and grandparents.
One team or coach or any approach may not fit any one person. Thats a disclaimer to topics in general conversation here.

Find it a bit difficult when I read
An adult/parent/guardian blaming the adult coach, (who is addressing the conversation of college with young people who are in high school) for a player who wants to quit because there is an opportunity of a larger goal.
It seems more appropriate to consider that everybody grows and matures at different times others maybe being inspired by the same coaches conversation.
Consider at some point in your granddaughter's life (on her path of Life) there will be a big billboard sign that says
'Would you like to go to college?'
The next sign says
'Here's what it's going to take'.

Maybe it's time for the parents or grandparent to sit down with young person and have a more structured conversation about what that goal entails if they so choose to take it.
But I don't think you can blame a coach for somebody who would want to quit because college is an opportunity.

That is misplaced reaction imo.
Simply that
There are freshman in high school who are taking steps to their possibilities of going to college.
Some at an even younger age middle school.
Some later.

 

[CrazyNani]

Acknowledging there are many different paths in the Walk of Life. And different types of teams, coaches, players, parents and grandparents.
One team or coach or any approach may not fit any one person. Thats a disclaimer to topics in general conversation here.

Find it a bit difficult when I read
An adult/parent/guardian blaming the adult coach, (who is addressing the conversation of college with young people who are in high school) for a player who wants to quit because there is an opportunity of a larger goal.
It seems more appropriate to consider that everybody grows and matures at different times others maybe being inspired by the same coaches conversation.
Consider at some point in your granddaughter's life (on her path of Life) there will be a big billboard sign that says
'Would you like to go to college?'
The next sign says
'Here's what it's going to take'.

Maybe it's time for the parents or grandparent to sit down with young person and have a more structured conversation about what that goal entails if they so choose to take it.
But I don't think you can blame a coach for somebody who would want to quit because college is an opportunity.

That is misplaced reaction imo.
Simply that
There are freshman in high school who are taking steps to their possibilities of going to college.
Some at an even younger age middle school.
Some later.

This wasn’t about going to college or not??? It’s about having to commit to wanting to play softball in college.

 

[radness]

This wasn’t about going to college or not??? It’s about having to commit to wanting to play softball in college.

Coaches have to apply different parameters and standards to their teams. Find a team that is more in line with what your granddaughter would like to do.

Since we do not know exactly how the coach worded everything that has been talking with this team about.
He could be saying to the players we are going to be a team that will be showcasing and therefore would like players to be able to make a commitment to that goal of going to college. imo do not think that would be an unreasonable thing to say to a team. Because it sets a standard for what the team is applying themselves for as a group.

If you can imagine there are other situations where everyone wants to go to college. And they're working hard to want to showcase well.
Then people get irritated about the one two or three players that are sloppy or do not care to email colleges and do player bio stuff with video etcetera.
It is just an opposite perspective that can/does happen.

In either case I do not think its right to blame a coach for setting a goal or speaking about a goal.

As to somebody who wants to quit,
she may simply not want that goal and it's okay to say that's not for her.
* it doesn't mean she is a quitter it means she is finding her path.

Sports teach a lot more than just what the sport is.

Sports can teach life, decision-making, responsibilities and accountability.

 

[nikkilugi]

This wasn’t about going to college or not??? It’s about having to commit to wanting to play softball in college.

Honestly there are a lot of TB teams out there. It sounds like your DGD needs to find one more in line with her goals. There are teams who are not as focused on playing at the next level and most of those (around here) tend to play locally mainly with a couple of regional tournaments sprinkled in. DD actually guest played for a team of girls who were just playing one last summer for fun before college (none were going on to play in college). She had a great time with those girls. There are teams like that out there.

Then there are teams/organizations who are very focused on recruiting. When we moved to our new city one major factor in choosing a new team for DD was what they did to assist the girls in their recruiting journey, FYI she was starting freshman year in HS when we relocated. We wanted an organization that had a proven track record of players going on to play in college and also coaches who have relationships with college coaches and can help guide the girls on what they need to do to help themselves in the process (like sending emails) and also hold them accountable. A lot of teams are like that and no matter what others say - coaches ARE looking at HS freshman players now. We also wanted to get DD exposure in the areas she wanted to go to school and her team plays a lot in the NE area. Her team is a National level team which traveled all over the US and the coaches from the NE traveled to those tournaments too. Of course it also helped DD loved the coach and teammates but ultimately we wanted a proven team for her and are satisfied with the recruiting support they provided her before her commitment.

 

[Westwind]

She wants to play but isn’t yet sure she wants to play in college.

maybe she shouldn’t play TB at all now if playing in college isn’t her #1 goal.

I don’t have all the information I need about this and I don’t know your grand daughter. I have a couple thoughts though.

Could it be fear of ”failure”? She might be thinking along the lines of “what if I don’t get picked”. It’s not failure to not get recruited by Alabama or Oklahoma, but many kids do see it that way.

When the point of softball becomes “getting recruited” instead of enjoying playing at a highest personal level possible and beating the other team, it can cause unintended consequences. Think about whether this is what’s going on here.

One of my DD’s went through a period when she didn’t think she wanted to play college softball. She stepped down to a team that was actually pretty good but the players weren’t as polished and they didn't play as good of competition and dd hated that. I say that because it sounds like your dgd has not decided. There is more than one reason to play on a higher level team, and recruiting may not be one of them.

One of the best years old DD’s tb career, (and most enjoyable), she played with a mixed group of players. Some knew they didn’t want to play college softball. They were good, knew they were good, and liked to play. One of the players is currently one of the best pitchers in college softball. It was ok that there were different goals, and the coach understood the difference.

So here’s the advice: have dgd talk to the coach. Let the coach know she is still deciding, but he is making the decision for her and it’s unwelcome. That’s the ONLY move to be made here as far as I’m concerned. Because what if she decides she DOES want to play college ball? And she might. And what if she is still trying to figure out how far she can take this? Why limit her options?

 

[Westwind]

The days that most hs freshman has to decide things like this are either over or temporarily on hold.

The reasons are The Portal and Super Seniors. The ones this affects the least are the top 1% type players.

Players in general are getting recruited a little later now.

It would help if orgs, coaches and parents would calm the hell down.

Easier said than done, I know.