Is this any of the coach's business?

CoachKevin said:

About the only thing that kind of bothers me are the players who come to tryouts with no desire to join the team and are just using it for their own workout.

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Geez, I've been taking DD to tryouts for three weeks for just this purpose. Does that make me a huge jerk? Having spent some time on the coaching side, there was nothing worse than having an open tryout and having nobody show up. That's far worse than getting a look at someone that you can't have.

I feel like tryouts are a great life lesson -- show up in a strange place with nobody you know and show them what you can do. Chat up some strangers, have some fun playing the game without having to worry too much about the outcome. Get in the right frame of mind to be relaxed when you attend a tryout for a team that you really are interested in. And make the team holding the tryout look like they're attracting talented players that aren't there just to play with their BFF.

Sure it is the coach's business to try and find out who's returning. Think he's just going about all wrong. If he really wants to know just make all the returning players an offer before tryouts are held and ask for the seasons deposit upon acceptance to guarantee their spot.

If he really wants people to tell him if they are looking around then he should have no problem reciprocating and telling the team what positions he's looking to change by holding tryouts.

Tom said:

Sure it is the coach's business to try and find out who's returning.

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No question.

I personally respect the coach for initiating this conversation and trying to get honest feedback from the families.

Through the softball grapevine, I’m sure he already has an idea about who is unsure of returning. But by being direct, any and all miscommunications can be solved.

Imagine if prior to the season ending and tryouts, sent an invitation to return to only a few select players (Along with a hefty deposit) without telling the entire team that he was doing this. IMO, that is completely shady and guess what? Uninvited players learn about it through that same grapevine. Would have understand if the coach was upfront with the process, instead of being secretive.

I applaud this coach for opening up the tough conversations so everyone knows where they stand.


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Lobster Birch said:

Got an email from my DD's coach from last season the day before tryouts part of which read as follows:

"I am asking any family who is weighing other team options to contact me before our tryout tomorrow. As I work to establish a roster of twelve (12) it will be important to know who is evaluating other organizations as well. I do not take this position or responsibility lightly and want to do everything I can to make sure that the players who are selected are all in and not looking at or wishing that they were on a different team or questioning the situation. That does not bring success for the team or families. I will work hard for this team and believe it is important to have that effort reciprocated."

While I certainly understand his desire to know who is looking elsewhere is it really any of his business? Is it out of line for him to ask?

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The last idiot who took this line on tryouts locally lost 9 girls from his team. And of course he is OK having tryouts so he can take the supposedly disloyal players from some other team who is chastising his current players for just considering.

While I kind of understand, he is totally out of line and in poor taste and judgement. If you expect loyalty you better earn it - not demand it.

It is absolutely fair to expect a family and player to be all in once they commit, but travel is season to season. Why are you are so afraid they might look around and see if there is something better for their DD out there? If they fully paid and played through their commitment last season then frankly no one owes anyone anything.As a coach, I can put forward the best situation and the families and players will decide if it is for them. At this point we have get plenty of players trying out (and often players returning form other teams), so if it isn't for you, so be it. I don't burn bridges - and if a family moves on and does the same they are always welcome back if situations change.

This time of year tends to be stressful on players, parents, and coaches. As a coach, I can understand why this coach wants to get a commitment up front. I am not a fan of the approach, but I understand the reason. When I was new to travel ball, the overall craziness of the tryout season caught me off guard that first year. That first year the head coach spoke privately with each family regarding their status for the following year. Afterwards he came to me and said that we have 11 confirmed 'yes' and 1 confirmed 'no'. His suggestion was to skip tryouts and just find another player through contacts. 2 weeks later while on vacation, I received a call from the head coach stating that 4 of the players that confirmed 'yes', just left for another team. Hello... Welcome to travel ball!! The head coach was very upset because he felt that these parents lied directly to his face. I was pretty upset about it to, because it essentially meant DD had to find a new team once we returned from vacation, and after all the tryouts were already over. In the end it worked out, but it taught me a valuable lesson regarding trust when it comes to youth sports. Moving forward I became much more involved in the process, and learned very quickly how to read people. After a few years, it became very easy to determine who would be coming back, who would be looking elsewhere, who was losing interest in softball, etc. Luckily after year 2, DD consistently played for teams with very little turnover. In fact, we have not had a tryout since 2015.

The other thing that irked me about this email is I felt like the coach was also saying if you are going to try out for other teams you won't be welcome back. I suspect many folks would respond to such an email "Oh, yeah, we're coming back for sure. We're all in!" and then go to other tryouts anyway.

Rick M said:

Geez, I've been taking DD to tryouts for three weeks for just this purpose. Does that make me a huge jerk? Having spent some time on the coaching side, there was nothing worse than having an open tryout and having nobody show up. That's far worse than getting a look at someone that you can't have.

I feel like tryouts are a great life lesson -- show up in a strange place with nobody you know and show them what you can do. Chat up some strangers, have some fun playing the game without having to worry too much about the outcome. Get in the right frame of mind to be relaxed when you attend a tryout for a team that you really are interested in. And make the team holding the tryout look like they're attracting talented players that aren't there just to play with their BFF.

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OK let me ask you, do you tell the coaches you are just there for a workout and are not interested in their team? I'm going out on a limb and saying you don't correct. You can try and spin it anyway you want, but the bottom line the only people getting anything out of it is you and your DD. Why waste that team's time, the coaches time, the other players that may be interested in joining that team's time?

Lobster Birch said:

What offer?

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Sorry I was responding to Elk Grove Hurricane's post.

Lobster Birch said:

The other thing that irked me about this email is I felt like the coach was also saying if you are going to try out for other teams you won't be welcome back. I suspect many folks would respond to such an email "Oh, yeah, we're coming back for sure. We're all in!" and then go to other tryouts anyway.

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A parent from another organization and age group confirmed with me that their head coach recruited her to spy on other tryouts and report back who showed up... Quite petty since there are only 2 choices in their age group locally...