Does your college really matter?

DD is 15, right now she wants to be veterinary. Not sure that is spelled correctly, animal doctor.

I have visions in my head of her coming home crying.

What I thought was most interesting about the video was what colleges do for your self-image/confidence.

So the question isn't necessary does your college choice matter, because it probably does. But the question is whether it's better not to find the best college that you can get into, but the best college in which you can get into and also thrive. UNC-Chapel Hill is a great school, but maybe not so great if you're going to be below average there and maybe not cut it. Maybe it's just as well to go to UNC-Pembroke and leave highly decorated and highly recommended.

If we ask our daughters how good of a softball player they are, do they provide a realistic answer, one that has a good sense of the bigger picture of all those who play softball in your state? Or is it based on how they stack up on their own team? And what is the impact of that narrow/naive view?

riseball said:

So a double major in Art History and LGBT Studies is not a an express train to a multiple job offers and a six figure salary?

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You guys are getting upside down on this...

Major selection is to make sure you "get a job" immediately after graduation. "Getting a job" isn't particularly difficult if the person is smart and hard working.

School selection is about long term career flexibility and career path options.

My husband and I have both arrived at the same conclusion independently about the college side of this (some may be similar regarding softball or maybe not). For a number of professional fields, the school where you receive your undergrad doesn't really matter all that terribly much. But, you need to do something to distinguish yourself there. For fields like law (my husband's field), medicine, or others (Ph.D. in psychology like me), it's where you get your grad degree that matters. And better to get a degree near where you live in many cases for networking purposes. So, don't blow the bank on going to Harvard undergrad. Go to a solid state school and excel. Then, get scholarship/fellowship money to a great grad school. And, as many of my profs in grad school told us, "B's make Ph.D.'s" Straight A's are not necessary in grad school.

CoogansBluff said:

What I thought was most interesting about the video was what colleges do for your self-image/confidence.

So the question isn't necessary does your college choice matter, because it probably does. But the question is whether it's better not to find the best college that you can get into, but the best college in which you can get into and also thrive. UNC-Chapel Hill is a great school, but maybe not so great if you're going to be below average there and maybe not cut it. Maybe it's just as well to go to UNC-Pembroke and leave highly decorated and highly recommended.

If we ask our daughters how good of a softball player they are, do they provide a realistic answer, one that has a good sense of the bigger picture of all those who play softball in your state? Or is it based on how they stack up on their own team? And what is the impact of that narrow/naive view?

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I think it depends on what you want to do with your life and where you want to go to school. I am sure that a kid who has always had a dream to attend the Univesity of XYZ and major in XYZ will do well because they truly want to be there and will work their butts off to get what they want unless they are truly not capable of succeeding. If a kid feels like he/she is basically being forced by mom and dad to go to XYZ because that is where mom and dad went and they have to pledge this fraternity/sorority whatever, I am sure there is a higher failure rate. I know a lot of kids who get pressured to go into medicine or STEM or something else that promises "big bucks" but they have no passion for it. If you start getting C/D grades and don't even want to be there that can probably drop your motivation through the floor.

riseball said:

It ain't the arrow, it's the Indian. Winners do not make excuses and are successful regardless of where they went to school or what adversity they may face.

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True, but some teams or schools are preparing kids with bows and arrows while the competition has rifles. Winner or not, that’s tough to overcome.

I have teams of people around the globe and I have hired my fair share of people and the last thing I care about is where the person went to school. That being said I am in a general business compliance field so my attitude would be different if I was hiring architects or surgeons or something very specific where the persons education makes a difference. All of the academic accolades are important for your first couple of jobs and then real life work experience means much more. I'm putting ivy league schools aside as I feel like those who graduate from one are not in the job market very long if at all. DD would probably be able to go to school at a better university if she didn't have her heart set on playing SB, but to me I'd rather her be happy and play at a school that on paper isn't as "prestigious"...again unless she wants to major in something where the education and reputation of the school is critical. My 2 cents YMMV.

riseball said:

So a double major in Art History and LGBT Studies is not a an express train to a multiple job offers and a six figure salary?

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There is also the fact that this isn't everyone's goal. I'm a child of the 80s so I wanted the high paying corporate job. Ya know, like in the movies when it's all exciting. Yeah, it's not exciting. At least not for me. I was miserable. Someone majoring in these types of fields may have priorities other than a huge income. Maybe they don't mind living modestly if it means doing something they really care about. I won't say I regret the path I took, but I wouldn't do it again. That's why there's no right answer here, IMO. College, technical schools, apprenticeships...there are a lot of paths to gainful employment, and even a modest salary can be adequate if a person is wise with their income and spending.

grcsftbll said:

There is also the fact that this isn't everyone's goal. I'm a child of the 80s so I wanted the high paying corporate job. Ya know, like in the movies when it's all exciting. Yeah, it's not exciting. At least not for me. I was miserable. Someone majoring in these types of fields may have priorities other than a huge income. Maybe they don't mind living modestly if it means doing something they really care about. I won't say I regret the path I took, but I wouldn't do it again. That's why there's no right answer here, IMO. College, technical schools, apprenticeships...there are a lot of paths to gainful employment, and even a modest salary can be adequate if a person is wise with their income and spending.

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I agree six figures is not everyone's goal. My point is that you should probably select a field of study that gets you out of your parents basement before you turn 30.

CMMom1740 said:

For a number of professional fields, the school where you receive your undergrad doesn't really matter all that terribly much. But, you need to do something to distinguish yourself there. For fields like law (my husband's field), medicine, or others (Ph.D. in psychology like me), it's where you get your grad degree that matters. And better to get a degree near where you live in many cases for networking purposes. So, don't blow the bank on going to Harvard undergrad. Go to a solid state school and excel. Then, get scholarship/fellowship money to a great grad school.

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I'm becoming increasingly convinced that, especially if you are a p5 recruit,
take the scholly, major in something "softball friendly"; with the understanding that grad school is in your future...