Confidential Situation

I'm going to be as discrete here as humanly possible. An individual mentions they will not be able to attend a practice because of a private family matter. When queried about the matter (out of support for the individual), more information is revealed concerning the "back story", which clearly needs the involvement of the proper authorities. However individual states it would be of no use, and so it will not be pursued by them. (full disclosure: the "back story" has NOTHING to do with anyone associated with the team aside from the "individual")

As a coach, I look out for all of my players like they were my own children (of which I have none). I also know that my role is just that: a coach. Things that occur off the field/away from my practices, games, or team-related events (read: in the private/home life) are none of my business and stay just that. However, in a situation like this, I would feel torn about how to react if I were the coach of the individual in question.

Has any coach encountered a situation where, morally, they are torn about what is an appropriate course of action to take in a situation that warrants it?

I know you want to be discrete but a lot depends; is this a 16 or 17 old who has parents that don't care and neglect them or an 8 year old being physically abused? Also need to make sure of what the rules are in your state and what capacity you are acting in and how much is KNOWN and not just suspected you may be a mandatory reporter.

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If the situation is one where someone is in some sort of danger of being harmed or neglected, I believe a coach, teacher, friend...anyone...should report it.


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After a long conversation with DW we have reported something to CPS.

Not a decision to be made lightly but we still think it was correct thing to do.

Sometimes people need help from someone, anyone. As a coach, you have assumed a role as an influential figure in children's lives. Whether you want that role or not, you got it. Most of us coaches would prefer to just show up at the field and teach the game, but the kids deserve more from us. The fact that you are asking the question, tells me that you already know the answer.

It's hard to say without more specifics but I know at least when we played through our county, my husband (as AC) and myself (as team mom) had to take a mandatory reporter class. If something happened where we suspected something that the authorities should be involved in we were required to report it. That may not be the case with your program but I think sometimes it's OK for a coach to get involved in something outside the field if it is a safety/legal issue. I can't say in your situation since I don't know the details. But if a child might be being hurt then you should report it.

I can add more to the discussion. Individual is 16 - nothing is directly happening to the individual (that I am aware of, and individual has always been pretty honest with me for the length of time I've known them). The "back story" involves the individual's mother and step-dad. When "individual" is asked about why nothing has been said, they state "mother will deny it happened/happens", individual would be missing practice (paraphrased) "to make sure it doesn't happen again", and individual also states, "there's nothing I can do now" and "...now I get to watch (results of "back story") happen".

Just as a human, listening to the situation breaks my heart. Not so much because of what is happening, but because individual feels helpless to do anything. The team that individual plays for is privately-run team and not school-sanctioned, therefore I don't believe NY State lists "coach" among their mandatory reporter list, and though I am a certified teacher, I do not know if that is considered here because it's not in a classroom setting. I also do not want to overstep my boundaries as a coach because most of this was discussed privately/through social media and not brought to me face-to-face. Very bothersome situation to contemplate.

I believe, and it's been awhile so I may be wrong, that even with the mandatory reporting it applied to the child, not to adult family members. That's a tough situation

Sluggers has some sort of background with this, maybe send him a PM with more details for his opinion.

quincy said:

After a long conversation with DW we have reported something to CPS.

Not a decision to be made lightly but we still think it was correct thing to do.

Click to expand...

Coaches, teachers, counselors, psychologists, clergy are generally "mandated reporters," meaning if there is a reasonable suspicion of a child being maltreated, they MUST report to CPS. There is usually a "good faith" provision, so if it winds up being a false report, the reporter cannot be sued, etc... You did the right thing. Somebody might get pissed, but I'd much rather have that any day than the alternative (e.g., a bad outcome for a child).

ETA: As a club coach (vs. a school employee), mandated reporter status may not apply, but the spirit of the law still seems to apply to me. I don't know specifics here, but better to let CPS sort it out than to try to sort it out yourself. I'm a psychologist and have attempted to report a number of situations where CPS wouldn't even take the report, but, hey, I can sleep at night knowing I tried.

One more thing: Consider calling CPS with a "hypothetical" situation. They will answer your question, and if the situation is not one they would normally handle (e.g., something like a parent's substance abuse, poor relationship choices or something otherwise borderline in terms of directly affecting a child), they will tell you so and you don't have to give names. I've done that numerous times.