More High School Politics and BS

[WARRIORMIKE]

 

[Westwind]

DD #1 just finished 4 years of HS ball. She played every inning, started varsity as a freshman, set the school single season homerun record and played her preferred position (CF) all four years except senior year when she became the starting shortstop and pretty much killed it. (Yes, I allowed myself a brag there. I was incredibly nervous for her but ended up so proud!)

And it was mostly a miserable experience. For a kid that loves every aspect of softball. For a kid who would rather practice than do almost anything else, it was miserable.

DD #2 is a freshman, we play Spring hs ball here. I know for a fact she is looking forward to school ball. I will not ruin it for her. I hope she enjoys it more.

Here is what you have to remember: it passes. Try not to compare it to travel ball. It isn't the same. Try your best to enjoy it for what it is. And even when the coach sucks, and it's obvious the coach sucks, don't complain about it to your dd, don't talk about how bad the coach sucks even if it's true. Just ride the wave, it will be over soon. Let her enjoy whatever little there is to enjoy.

In travel ball, you get to pick your coaches. My gosh my kids have had some awesome tb coaches. We are blessed. But until I can get Cannonball to move up here, hs sb not so much. It is what it is.

DD #1 started classes and practices at her dream college this year. It is a long standing D1 program with a veteran coaching staff. They have not set the world on fire the last few years but as far as dd and her mom and me are concerned they are doing it right. DD #1 is having the time of her life already! HS passes and the kids move on. Best of luck to all who are living through this struggle!

 

[gordongekko]

Sure, sure, while I and my kids understand that it really does only go so far. Lay back, chill out, relax

As a father of twins myself, I have been through many of the same battles. I like my girls HS coach personally, but...we don't always agree. Their coach doesn't see my girls as contributing as position players only as pitchers. The coach told one of mine "unless you grow 8-9 inches you'll never play first base" (she is a 5'1" lefty 12 year old now who hasn't had a growth spurt yet). I have been personal friends with the HS coach and I know all the flaws, but at the end of the day I think it is incumbent on me to support and not undermine the authority of the coach.

I know it's easier said than done...it is all about perspective. Try to keep yours and your daughters will have an easier time with theirs. But, frankly it sounds like they have a good perspective so far.

Now, as far as the AD goes, you'll come off as a whining parent and get blown off if you say anything. If anything gets back to the coach it will make it a crappy situation for your girls. Better to just stay quiet than risk it coming back to the girls (it usually does no matter how "good" the coach is).

Only thing I might do is volunteer to work concessions at the home games so you can get away without having to to watch the whole game....

 

[Mom_Coach_Fan]

My DD's attend a 6A high school with the highest concentration of travel ball players enrolled in the region. The HS softball program only gets about 20-25 to tryout every year because of coaches reputation, favoritism, and how the girls are treated. My DD's tried it for two years. They will be playing with their travel ball teams during their last few HS season. They want to represent their HS, but it is not worth the aggravation and BS. The plus it that their are several big exposure opportunities in the spring that they will be able to play in that they would not have been able to attend if they were playing HS ball.

I had to double check to see if we are neighbors! Sounds similar to our school.

 

[chinamigarden]

Sorry your daughters are not being treated the way you would like.

But when you say your dd was "relegated" to the JV team it is insulting to the thousands of girls who are on HS JV teams.

 

[softgabby]

I feel for you and your daughters and the frustration of being stuck in a cycle of high school political BS. Personally, I've never had to deal with all of the politics of playing in high school softball. I have however in other sports. Like last season in field hockey. I usually play the midfield position (I'm brainfarting on the name of the position). I have good endurance and can really charge the field if I need to. Well, our JV coach just decides to bench me and play the other girl who isn't as good as I am at the position, she never passes the ball, takes shots she should never take and is a glory hound. The other girls on the team don't like playing when she's on the field. They even said to the coach last year "hey coach, put Gabby in for a little bit. Our team doesn't have much of a chance to win and it gets her the chance to get some reps". Coach shot it down saying that "she likes the other girl better". Well this season, we have a new coach and I'm starting this season. The other girl didn't even make the varsity team at tryouts.

But back to softball. I can't say anything bad about our coach. She is awesome. She liked my play style and my bat when I was hitting well and wanted to get me in the game plus she needed a catcher after the senior got hurt.

 

[Tatonka]

Sorry your daughters are not being treated the way you would like.

But when you say your dd was "relegated" to the JV team it is insulting to the thousands of girls who are on HS JV teams.

Thanks for your comment. It is NOT just about the way my daughters are being treated but obviously that's a major issue in my household. Regarding my use of the term "relegated" I get your point and apologize to the thousands of girls who may feel insulted. Honestly it would have been easier on us if they had both been place on JV. However I'll stand by the use of the word in this case because it fits this particular situation.

 

[Tatonka]

Hmmmm, so I have been considering deleting this post because of the way it may come across to some and these days it's just easier to not say anything. Grin and bear it right? It helped when I looked at it last night and saw how many people had thanked me and responded with their own stories along with some different angles and advice. Weird that this morning apparently everyone has withdrawn their "thanks"? How did that happen? Oh well, Varsity game starts in an hour and the JV team is supposed to have a game this afternoon....I'll be out there cheering loudly for all the girls on both teams!!

 

[CMMom1740]

One thing stands out to me in your post. When the HS coach is trying to monkey around with training girls receive in TB. The thing about the catcher throwing off the mask, for example. Everyone on DFP knows that's a HUGE no-no now with the hockey-style masks. Personally, I would quite upset if a HS coach tried to get DD to start doing that. Or if they monkeyed around with her swing and got her confused. It's fine to play HS ball and have fun, but HS ball should not screw up a girl's TB game. That's a situation where I'd probably have to consider getting involved and approaching the HS coach. Would be sticky, for sure. I wonder if anyone on DFP has done that with success.

 

[softgabby]

Hmmmm, so I have been considering deleting this post because of the way it may come across to some and these days it's just easier to not say anything. Grin and bear it right? It helped when I looked at it last night and saw how many people had thanked me and responded with their own stories along with some different angles and advice. Weird that this morning apparently everyone has withdrawn their "thanks"? How did that happen? Oh well, Varsity game starts in an hour and the JV team is supposed to have a game this afternoon....I'll be out there cheering loudly for all the girls on both teams!!

I'll come at this from a players perspective. We don't necessarily see the frustration of our parents towards coaches and administrators. We know of our own frustrations within the system and trying to play ball within that said system. I know that I'm frustrated with myself after coming back from injury that I can't find my swing and have it the same as before my injury. I have found everything else and while it may not be like before my injury...at least I know I'm progressing, at least defensively and as a leader on the field. But my swing. I know I'm just as frustrated as my parents that I haven't found it yet. It's starting to come together...albeit slowly.

But as players, we see our own frustrations with coaches and administrators for playing time. I know last year at the beginning of the season, I was fighting for circle time as a pitcher. I knew I needed to pitch in order to get better. The funny thing is...I made varsity as a freshman as a pitcher. But in airing my frustration to the coach about playing time, a golden opportunity for playing time fell into my lap...but it meant learning a whole new position. I'm not saying wish for an injury to get playing time regardless of position...but that's what happened to me.

Please don't just delete the post because of having to toughen up. You need a sounding board with like-minded people. You have that community here. He we've felt the same frustrations and sometimes it's good hearing a different perspective on problems on and off of our chosen field of battle.