I have written several responses and deleted them each time. Those responses would not serve any positive purpose. Instead, I'll stay consistent with the advice I have often given on this and other sites. If your DD's HS experience is so awful, remove your child from it. It can be that simple.
Thanks for the replies and the commiseration. She’s gone back and forth on the quitting question. On the one hand, it’s miserable and why go through that. On the other, why let him take away her high school experience of playing a sport she loves. She has pride in being on the team. Most of her friends play softball, they are her people. She was chosen (only one per athletic team) to be part of the athletic leadership group for the school – a pretty hard thing to get and she’d have to give that up (coach has no say in this selection btw).Considering quitting?
I know "sticking it out" is the usual right answer. I however, am a fan of quitting. Life is too short. Childhood is too short. F that noise, as the kids (used to) say.
She had a conversation with him since I last wrote. He told her he yells at her because he can’t yell at his DD or she will break down. He also yells at her to get underneath the umpire’s skin. She asked about an instance where she covered a bunt and the 1st baseman set up on the safety bag, her throw went to the left side so was overthrown. She tried to talk to the 1st baseman to ask her to set up on the left side so she doesn’t have to throw through the runner. The coach screamed at her that the 1st base (he considers her a second “daughter”) can set up wherever the hell she wants. Next batter bunted, same spot, she covered it. This time no one on 2nd to throw to and the 1st baseman crashed towards home right in the line of the throw to 1st. My DD didn’t throw – no chance for an out at either base. The coach was livid and yelled at her screaming answer me, why didn’t you throw it, answer me now while all just watched in awe. He claims he doesn’t remember this. It’s ridiculous. I could go on and on about what he’s done and the lies/deflections with the conversation he had with her.
She’s going to try to stick it out for now due to the above reasons and just try to take it as practice for travel and ignore him. She wants to play in college and is just trying to keep her sights on that. My goal is to get him fired. I don’t think I’ll have much success but it is a private school so I might make some progress if the other parents back me up which they say they will.
It's really disappointing. High school ball is supposed to be fun.
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