I'm wondering if we have outgrown our current team. So what makes parents decide to leave a team for another besides a falling out and does the time of year affect your thinking?
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When to move on
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This is a good question - one that several people on this forum are wrestling with now. Particularly trying to decide if going from rec ball to select ball is the right move.
Some factors I would consider are how does your DD compare to her team mates? Is she light years ahead of them? Or is she average? A higher-level player might be better suited to move to a more competitive team. How you relate to the staff is something I'd consider too. Are the coaches competent in your opinion? Finances are important to consider (both yours and the team's).
I think if your DD wants to move, do it. Or if you think more harm than good will come from staying, move. Just be sure to find a team that's a good fit for you guys whether you're moving up, down, or sideways. I think some notice would be nice, but that may not be an option depending on the opportunity. I don't think notice necessarily has to be given a whole season in advance (altho if you know you will be leaving the team next year, tell the coach at the end of the season).
We lost a very good player a few weeks ago (not our best, but certainly one of the cornerstones of our team) to another sport. I was OK with that as the manager/coach because I can respect an athlete's choice to pursue other opportunities. I even refunded part of her commitment money. So a good coach will understand if that's your concern.
I'm curious to see what others think on this question myself...
Some factors I would consider are how does your DD compare to her team mates? Is she light years ahead of them? Or is she average? A higher-level player might be better suited to move to a more competitive team. How you relate to the staff is something I'd consider too. Are the coaches competent in your opinion? Finances are important to consider (both yours and the team's).
I think if your DD wants to move, do it. Or if you think more harm than good will come from staying, move. Just be sure to find a team that's a good fit for you guys whether you're moving up, down, or sideways. I think some notice would be nice, but that may not be an option depending on the opportunity. I don't think notice necessarily has to be given a whole season in advance (altho if you know you will be leaving the team next year, tell the coach at the end of the season).
We lost a very good player a few weeks ago (not our best, but certainly one of the cornerstones of our team) to another sport. I was OK with that as the manager/coach because I can respect an athlete's choice to pursue other opportunities. I even refunded part of her commitment money. So a good coach will understand if that's your concern.
I'm curious to see what others think on this question myself...
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Well being on the coaching end of things, I have always said that I fully support players leaving if it's for the right reason. If the reason is they want to play at a higher level then I tell them to go and try. If they are going just because they think the grass is greener I talk to them about what they want vs their abilities.
With that being said, I can't stop anyone from leaving, but as a coach, it sure would be nice if I had gotten a call saying hey we are going to try-out for this A Team, before I made the team budget, had parent meetings about fees ect...
With that being said, I can't stop anyone from leaving, but as a coach, it sure would be nice if I had gotten a call saying hey we are going to try-out for this A Team, before I made the team budget, had parent meetings about fees ect...
Our team is a local tournament team and the level of play was dismal last year. My dd has been working out all winter when I find out the rest of the team has been taking a breather from softball. And we are moving up this year.
It sounds like you need to find a team that matches your DD's level of intensity and level of skill. What age group is this?
I would see what my options are. She might be able to play on two teams. Either way it doesn't sound like your current team is a fit for what your dd needs/wants.
Coach-n-Dad
Crazy Daddy
- Oct 31, 2008
- 1,007
- 0
We went through this at the end of summer last year. The team DD was on was pretty good but the coaching staff didn't want to make the move to travel (select) ball for Fall and DD's pitching coach told her that she should be playing in a more competitive league. She tried out for and was accepted on a higher age level team in ASA (the most competitive in our area).
We had never talked to the coaches on the first team until she was committed. When we talked to them, we explained why we made the move and although the feelings were hurt, they completely understand. The manager even came to a couple of her ASA tournaments to watch.
Looking back, the move was the best thing that ever happened to DD. She is being challenged like she has never been challenged before. She has to fight for and earn her position instead of being a shoo-in for it. Just since August of last year she has improved 3 fold and can't wait until this year finally gets underway (darn rain).
We had never talked to the coaches on the first team until she was committed. When we talked to them, we explained why we made the move and although the feelings were hurt, they completely understand. The manager even came to a couple of her ASA tournaments to watch.
Looking back, the move was the best thing that ever happened to DD. She is being challenged like she has never been challenged before. She has to fight for and earn her position instead of being a shoo-in for it. Just since August of last year she has improved 3 fold and can't wait until this year finally gets underway (darn rain).
If DD is not happy move now, don't wait. I forced DD to stay ona team that she was not happy on last year and it was a BIG mistake. PC and friends told me we should move on but I didn't. DD finally said she was not going to play for this team anymore that she would go to other tryouts and if she didn't make a team she was willing to walk away. She made another quaility team with quality coaching and is loving softball again. Most of our kids will only play this game for a short time, it should be fun for them, for the kids, and maybe for the parents as well.
Always play for the best team, with the best coaching, that your DD can make. Its that simple.
- Feb 8, 2009
- 271
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If you allow your daughter to make the decision, make sure her reasons are good. Most adolescents aren't qualified . They are too emotional. I've seen so many girls spend miserable summers because their parents let them make the call for the wrong reasons.
She is an older 11. She is gung ho about attending clinics, private instruction, even just tossing the ball in the yard. I guess I'm more worried about making the decision for the wrong reasons. I thought that Travel/Tournament teams would be a little more focus on improving and leave Rec for fun with friends.
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