What would you do? teammate using drugs and drinking

[softballer]

What would you do if you know there is a player on your dd's team the is regularly smoking pot and drinking? I know this because I monitor my child's social media closely. I feel like the coach should be made aware of the situation. Dont really feel like i can tell the parents and not sure they would even care.

I have real personal issues with my child being exposed to pot because I have seen it negatively affect my family personally.

I thought about an anonymous message. Is it wrong for me to tell or would it be the right thing to do? I keep thinking maybe she wants to be caught or it's a cry for attention.

 

[coach james]

Had a similar post a couple years ago... the two girls involved were HS freshman and had posted pics of themselves online smoking pot... Without a second thought I kicked both of them off the team. They both knew from day one there was a zero tolerance policy for that kind of behavior, and to add insult to our program, one was wearing a team shirt in the pics.

 

[PEPPERS]

DD complains to her mom and I that many of her college teammates drink and do drugs and she is discussed with it. I tell her to only worry about things she has control over, she can't control the behavior of other people only her own. I tell her to be careful taking a drink or food some someone she does not trust. Meth they claim doing it one time there is only a 10% chance you can get off the stuff so be careful.

A young woman I was evolved with years ago showing calves in 4-H, a good girl from a good family, with a promising future. I was in court on another case when she was yesterday. Her and her boyfriend were arrested for Meth she is 22, her boyfriend is 20 and a punk. He tried to blame her for the drugs although he had been arrested 2 times before for meth and she is with his child, the judge thank goodness saw through his claims, she still supported him and tried to say the drugs were all hers. I think she was using, but they came from him.

I was in court for another case, but it was a sad day for me to see how far drugs has taken this young woman down.

 

[maksoftball]

No idea...we were in same position last year where a player was inhaling inhalants. We discussed it with each other, and we really felt like the parents needed to at least be made aware of it. Not sure if anyone said anything but I believe it came to a head when she "used" before a game, and promptly made an rear of herself. I have no idea if anyone said anything...the team broke up, and we have only seen her on opposing team in HS softball.

 

[JAD]

The best thing you can do as a parent is talk with your children about the dangers of drugs and alcohol, because if you think you can protect them from being exposed to it you are kidding yourself unless you never let them out of the house.

 

[CoreSoftball20]

So you wanna run to the coach, but not parents? Whats wrong with just asking the parents if they have
seen some of the FB stuff their daughter posts or wherever it is?

I would just say this, you better make damn sure before you go involving yourself
and blowing the whistle on a drug/alcohol issue. Make sure its not just some teen talking big on FB or something trying to act cool. If its true, the parents should be the first to know, not some softball coach in my opinion.

I do however have an issue with the anonymous thing. If you want to involve yourself in someone's life, dont hide. Too many people like the anonymous thing because they dont have to consider the consequences before acting, and if they are wrong, they dont have to answer for their actions.
They can just move on to the next thing that isnt their business to involve themselves in anonymously.

 

[Sparky Guy]

What would you do if you know there is a player on your dd's team the is regularly smoking pot and drinking? I know this because I monitor my child's social media closely. I feel like the coach should be made aware of the situation. Dont really feel like i can tell the parents and not sure they would even care.

I have real personal issues with my child being exposed to pot because I have seen it negatively affect my family personally.

I thought about an anonymous message. Is it wrong for me to tell or would it be the right thing to do? I keep thinking maybe she wants to be caught or it's a cry for attention.

You don't mention the age of the girl. I'm suspecting she's a minor from your post.

If you are absolutely sure the parents don't think there's anything wrong with it you'll make very little headway dealing with the situation at the parental level. However,if she is bringing her activities to the team or everyone knows about it then I would approach the coach or head of the organization. I'm sure, like everyone program I've been involved with, they have some type of rules regarding drugs, drinking and bad behavior in their team rules. But, before you approach anyone with allegations be sure to have proof to back yourself up.

Young adults are very susceptible to outside influences and something like her behavior can affect the team. However, in this case if you feel there is no parental support or supervision it may just drive the girl further underground so she hides her activities for her teammates. The best thing you can do for the team is to bring it to the coaching staff's attention and let them handle it from there. Anything else and you may be viewed as nothing more than a meddling parent.

 

[Pdiddy]

"What would you do?".......personally, I would stay out of it......the kid will get caught on her own eventually. But if you feel like something needs to be done you have to accept that sometimes there could be a fallout from it if someone finds out you were the one who told on them.....as there will be those who will say "under aged kids have been drinking beer and smoking pot for decades and is nothing new....why is "so and so's" parents sticking their noses in this".....

I do laugh at all the stupid kids (and adults) and their social media posts that incriminates themselves....my generation is social media savy but much more "007" like in keeping private business private....also my wife is a VP and Human Resources Director for a large Bank and says she can't tell you the number of people who would have, but don't get hired because of pictures on Facebook pages....

 

[Jojo]

DD complains to her mom and I that many of her college teammates drink and do drugs and she is discussed with it.

Is this something that the coaches are unaware of or are turning a blind eye to?

I know most university teams have a zero tolerance for drugs and alcohol. I think I can count about 3 on my DD's team during her 4yrs that were kicked off the team for this. Mostly alcohol. Shame too, because most of them had to quit school as they lost their scholarship as well.

I always talk to my high schoolers about this, getting them to understand the seriousness of this when they are about to go off to college.

 

[CoreSoftball20]

If you are absolutely sure the parents don't think there's anything wrong with it you'll make very little headway dealing with the situation at the parental level. .

He doesnt even know this.