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What rules do you have for playing?

Feb 20, 2020
111
28
We've got our first tourney this weekend -- got very lucky in March for Colorado -- but my daughter had academic problems this week that had us questioning whether she should be allowed to play. She's one of two pitchers, so that would make things hard on her team if I didn't let her go at all. She got her grades up enough where we feel okay about it, but it got me wondering what guidelines other parents follow when balancing being a good kid/student and responsibilities to the team. in HS, it's easy -- if you're failing classes you can't play. But with club ball it's all more fluid, so I just though I'd toss it out and see what people thought.

On the good side, missing a practice this week because of it, and just the threat of not playing got her in gear, but if she hadn't been able to fix things it would have put us in a really difficult spot. So how do you handle it when the kid is being a kid, and how do you balance it with the team?
 
Aug 25, 2019
419
43
Well, if you keep your daughter from playing, is she gonna study all that time that she would be playing?.....If it was my daughter, I'd let her play, you (and her) are punishing the team for her lack of effort in school.
I would never stop my daughter from playing a team game, or missing practices due to poor grades. That would also punish the team. What I would do (and have done) is first and foremost, take away her phone and any other social media platform she has. She could only use a computer for school. If it persisted, she would be grounded. ......Being on a team can be seen as a privilege, but it is also a responsibility that my DD is, well, responsible for.
 
Last edited:
Aug 25, 2019
419
43
DD (12U / 5th Grade) has to maintain Honor Roll grades or extra curricular activities are out. School / Education comes first.
You a hard, hard man!......My DD has been on the honor roll since the 5th grade (she a sophomore now) If her grades dip below that (92 is honor roll here) to say, 90 or 89, it wouldn't bother me a bit. Mind you, if she started coming home with 70's then there would be a problem. I learned from her older brother that grades aren't everything. He never was on the honor roll, around an 85 average, but he was a good student and the extracurricular activities certainly helped on every college application. He's a junior in college now, doing very well, (he's actually on the Dean's list)
 
Oct 3, 2019
88
18
My granddaughter's school doesn't even use the Honor Roll as a measure of a child's academic success. So, I think it's something that has to be a kid by kid basis. My dgd struggled last year, diagnosed with ADD and had to work really hard for her grades, which weren't good. This year, she is excelling in school and we think the softball helped. I thought she might struggle even more, having to learn everything about the game since she got such a late start at it. She is just beginning her second full year of playing, having started in the last year of 12u. She plays Rec and has advanced to the higher level travel team for her age group 14u this season. Everything started to come together for her this year, thanks to softball and having some amazing coaches and teammates. If we had kept her from playing when she struggled academically last year, there is no telling where she would be right now.
 
Jun 6, 2016
1,084
83
Chicago
It's one thing when grades are tied to eligibility; those are essentially team/league rules that need to be followed.

Otherwise, find a different way to punish the kid. The only way pulling them from the team as a form of punishment makes sense is if whatever they did was related to the team. Commitment matters, and I don't think it's good to teach them that it's not that important. And it doesn't matter if they're the star pitcher or a bench player.
 

Strike2

Allergic to BS
Nov 14, 2014
900
63
If we're talking about elementary or even middle school kids, there shouldn't be so much homework that playing in a weekend tournament would negatively affect grades. For those kids, it's more about what they do while at school during the week. Straight As and honor roll are great, but before HS, all that and $5 will only get you a cup of coffee at Starbucks. As on the ballfield, look for effort / attitude and help them over the rough spots.

In HS, it starts to matter. I've seen what happens when kids focus too much on their sports. Their grades may look alright on paper, but unless their schedule includes some challenging classes and they're getting good ACT/SAT scores, they probably aren't ready for a university classroom. They're a great player, but when they get to that Power Five school, they flame out fast. That's why you have to make a decision, and it's a tough one if they're a really good player. For most, what we become is largely written in high school. It decides where / if we go on to college, what we can study and, eventually, what kind of life we have. Those who spend that time wisely not only get rewarded, but are prepared for what comes next.
 
Apr 28, 2019
1,236
83
We've got our first tourney this weekend -- got very lucky in March for Colorado -- but my daughter had academic problems this week that had us questioning whether she should be allowed to play. She's one of two pitchers, so that would make things hard on her team if I didn't let her go at all. She got her grades up enough where we feel okay about it, but it got me wondering what guidelines other parents follow when balancing being a good kid/student and responsibilities to the team. in HS, it's easy -- if you're failing classes you can't play. But with club ball it's all more fluid, so I just though I'd toss it out and see what people thought.

On the good side, missing a practice this week because of it, and just the threat of not playing got her in gear, but if she hadn't been able to fix things it would have put us in a really difficult spot. So how do you handle it when the kid is being a kid, and how do you balance it with the team?
Must remain on Honor Roll or no extra curricular activities of any kind. Never had an issue to date with having to punish them.

Set expectations and use reminders every so often so everyone is on the same page.
 

NBECoach

Learning everyday
Aug 9, 2018
193
43
SE Wisconsin
Our HS rules are a 2.00 GPA minimum. We have had very few players miss games for this reason. They ususally were late with an assignment. Once turned in and graded they could play. The other rule relates to alcohol/substance abuse. If arrested/caught at a party you lose 20 % of the remaining games. If you turn yourself in it goes down to 10%. That is for the first offense. Sad to say we have had a few players fall into this category. The second offense is 50% of games, 3rd offense is all games, and 4th offense is a ban from participating.
 

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