I think you should move to another team. You went to an organization for 10 workouts. They put you on the lower "B" team. Your DD is the back up catcher and a bottom 3rd hitter. The coaches are singling out your DD for her poor play at practice. I know it is frustrating when your DD is upset. My normal advice would be to stick it out and look around next year. In your case, I believe your DD may end up leaving softball for good. I would go to the next tournament, find the teams that are struggling to win a game. They always need new players. See if your DD can guest with them for a tournament. I would be willing to bet she gets more AB's and the practices are less stressful to her. Help her find the passion for the game again.
What to do about bullying coaches?
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Some kids are thick-skinned and have abundant confidence, being berated by the coach would not put a dent in them. Other girls, especially in an environment in which other external support is lacking (e.g. new player joining an established team), will dissolve, lose their confidence and their play will decline, a self-fulfilling prophecy. You know your daughter best and where she would fit along this spectrum.
From my DDs personal experience, being in a toxic environment moved her in a negative direction, skill-wise and confidence-wise, from which significant catch-up had to be done. I am still angry about it as her parent. Unless you (or your DD) step in to let them know the impact that their style of coaching is having on her, it will continue to erode her feelings of self-worth. You are not asking for more playing time, but simply to have them lift the barrage of criticism. If you are at all concerned about what some of the other posters are saying about "rose colored glasses". Get objective information. How many passed balls, compared to the other catcher. How many bad throw-downs, how many pick-offs? Inform them of the facts, observe their response. if they are unsympathetic, leave and find a new team.
From my DDs personal experience, being in a toxic environment moved her in a negative direction, skill-wise and confidence-wise, from which significant catch-up had to be done. I am still angry about it as her parent. Unless you (or your DD) step in to let them know the impact that their style of coaching is having on her, it will continue to erode her feelings of self-worth. You are not asking for more playing time, but simply to have them lift the barrage of criticism. If you are at all concerned about what some of the other posters are saying about "rose colored glasses". Get objective information. How many passed balls, compared to the other catcher. How many bad throw-downs, how many pick-offs? Inform them of the facts, observe their response. if they are unsympathetic, leave and find a new team.
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While I agree that kids respond differently to being berated (criticized in an angry way), it's not necessarily tied to the kid's confidence. Sometimes it's just personality. A kid with high self-esteem might be very open to criticism but decide she doesn't want the anger and disgust that come with it from some coaches. So she finds a team or coach that fits her personality and outlook.
I agree with you completely- just was trying to paint two ends of a spectrum, the players whom nothing phases and negative coaching style just does not impact them to the other extreme.
WARRIORMIKE
Pro-Staff Everything
Maybe they are just breaking her in?? Don't take it personally. If she tried out and made the TB team then obviously she is good enough to be on the team.
I can give you our experience:
First of all, all yelling is not always equal. My DD has coaches who yell now, but they yell with instruction and frustration that they know she our her teammates can do better. It is always always followed up with explanation and a vote of confidence in their ability. It is never degrading. My DD knows they love her and want the best for her always. We know that, too. They just get passionate during game time.
A few years ago, DD had one miserable miserable summer on a team (I even posted on her about changing teams back then) where the coach yelled. But he humiliated and degraded in his yelling. It was never constructive or positive or followed up with an explanation. This is a "fantastic" coach who, when a player gets two strikes on them, will simply physically turn his back on them while he's coaching 3rd base and refuse to look at them. He was just an rear. We left. BEST THING WE EVER DID. We couldn't believe the stress that a coach could bring into our lives, on and off the field. DD learned nothing and got nothing out of it. Correction: she DID learn. She learned life isn't always fair and some people are not good people and that you are in charge of your life- make choices and surround yourself with people who will help you in your journey, not those that will bring you down.
So, you guys have to figure out the motivation, the message behind the yelling. See not what this coach is saying, but what he is actually doing. Then determine if it fits into your plans. This sport should be hard work and it should frustrate you sometimes, but it should never be the cause of unhappiness.
First of all, all yelling is not always equal. My DD has coaches who yell now, but they yell with instruction and frustration that they know she our her teammates can do better. It is always always followed up with explanation and a vote of confidence in their ability. It is never degrading. My DD knows they love her and want the best for her always. We know that, too. They just get passionate during game time.
A few years ago, DD had one miserable miserable summer on a team (I even posted on her about changing teams back then) where the coach yelled. But he humiliated and degraded in his yelling. It was never constructive or positive or followed up with an explanation. This is a "fantastic" coach who, when a player gets two strikes on them, will simply physically turn his back on them while he's coaching 3rd base and refuse to look at them. He was just an rear. We left. BEST THING WE EVER DID. We couldn't believe the stress that a coach could bring into our lives, on and off the field. DD learned nothing and got nothing out of it. Correction: she DID learn. She learned life isn't always fair and some people are not good people and that you are in charge of your life- make choices and surround yourself with people who will help you in your journey, not those that will bring you down.
So, you guys have to figure out the motivation, the message behind the yelling. See not what this coach is saying, but what he is actually doing. Then determine if it fits into your plans. This sport should be hard work and it should frustrate you sometimes, but it should never be the cause of unhappiness.
She learned life isn't always fair and some people are not good people and that you are in charge of your life- make choices and surround yourself with people who will help you in your journey, not those that will bring you down.
This is the best lesson that she could have learned. We had a similar issue and the girls learned that you and only you are in charge of your destiny and do not let other's hold you back.
This is the best lesson that she could have learned. We had a similar issue and the girls learned that you and only you are in charge of your destiny and do not let other's hold you back.
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