Tryouts, breaking the news: "You didn't make it"

[WinThemAll]

Except that this isn't a job. This is a sport that is being played by 11 year olds. Whose parents are paying the coach to coach his daughters. The OP is not paying the girls to produce wins for him.

Cut the girl. But if I was on a team that considered itself a 'family team' that had been together for a number of years and then it changed I would be quite put out. I'm the type of person that is loyal to the point of stupidity. If my child was good enough I'd also start looking for another team for my child. If it's going to be a team that is cut throat and isn't about loyalty but about the best players, then I'll put her on the best team I can find. Not the one that is a B team.

It is a lesson in life.

The coach isn't paying the players. But in all honesty the parents are and are footing the bill to help the player. He's tried to provide an opportunity. The player and her family have settled for mediocrity. The coach is ready to move on and provided a better opportunity. He is being loyal to the players that want to step it up.

 

[SoCalSoftballdad]

CB - Three arguments why you HAVE to cut her:

Doesn't Want to Improve

You stated that both she and her parents know that she is a weak player and yet they do nothing about putting in the extra time and effort away from normal practice to get better. This family is taking advantage of YOU because of this supposedly close friendship and they expect you to bend over backwards for their DD even when she isn't putting in the required effort.

Competitive 12U Travel Team

There is a reason why softball governing bodies have both Recreational leagues and Travel Ball organizations so that there is an opportunity for all players interested in softball to play at the level of their skillset and commitment. You are a travel ball team which means the players want to play at a high-level of competitive softball that rec leagues just don't offer. Keeping her on might be sending the wrong message to the team.

Head Coach Responsibilites

As the head coach you have a responsibility to the team first and have to make tough decisions all the time which effects the families on your team. DO NOT whimp out and take a 13th player or as some suggested, have non-affiliated coaches run your tryouts for you and rank the players. That is a cop out and if you were coaching my DD I would lose respect for you and your judgment as a coach. If you cannot make the right decisions for the team, than maybe you should not be coaching a travel ball team?

There are only two questions that you need to answer to determine whether you should keep this kid on the team:

1) if you did not know the parents personally, would she make the team?

2) does she contribute to the success of the team and/or add any value?

 

[PA SB Dad]

I would reemphasize once again, that the minute you "break up" the family and decide you want to take your team to a higher level, you are giving all of your players permission to seek "a higher level" on their own. To try to hold on to the best players by counting on their loyalty, and not being loyal to all of your players, is short-sighted.

 

[SoCalSoftballdad]

I would reemphasize once again, that the minute you "break up" the family and decide you want to take your team to a higher level, you are giving all of your players permission to seek "a higher level" on their own. To try to hold on to the best players by counting on their loyalty, and not being loyal to all of your players, is short-sighted.

So should CoogansBluff keep this player until let's say 18U just so he is "loyal" to her? Where is her loyalty to the team to be the best player she can be by challenging herself to improve and show more of a commitment than mediocrity? Is she helping the team at all or being a good teammate? Again, we are talking a competitive travel team where the expectations for player self-development is a lot higher than rec ball.

Maybe cutting her is the best thing that will happen to her and will light a fire under her to improve, maybe even make the team the following year. All I see right now is the coach enabling her to be a weak player with no desire to improve since she knows she will make the team every year no matter what. If you are not getting better each season as a team and as an individual player, you are moving backwards.

 

[Momo'sDad]

Lots of good arguments on both sides of the keep vs let go conversation, but I would hold my fall tryouts and then make offers to the best 12 players who turned up and said they wanted to play for me if you're going to become a serious 'A' team.

 

[PA SB Dad]

So should CoogansBluff keep this player until let's say 18U just so he is "loyal" to her? Where is her loyalty to the team to be the best player she can be by challenging herself to improve and show more of a commitment than mediocrity? Is she helping the team at all or being a good teammate? Again, we are talking a competitive travel team where the expectations for player self-development is a lot higher than rec ball.

Maybe cutting her is the best thing that will happen to her and will light a fire under her to improve, maybe even make the team the following year. All I see right now is the coach enabling her to be a weak player with no desire to improve since she knows she will make the team every year no matter what. If you are not getting better each season as a team and as an individual player, you are moving backwards.

Actually, in the OP we are talking about a B team that wants to step up their performance and play at a higher level. I am all for that, and if that is your goal, then pick the 12 best players that show up and accept your offer. As I said before, the reality is that you are not going to keep your team intact as you get older - kids drop out, "fall off" the development curve, or move on to better teams.

One thing I see in these types of situations is that the coaches want to upgrade their players, but the coaches themselves don't improve. Getting better players may help you be more competitive, but if you don't upgrade your coaching abilities, you will find yourself being exposed as just another dad that tore apart a nice team and wasn't prepared as a coach to make the jump to a higher level. If you want to upgrade your team and move on, that is fine. But the onus is on you as the coach is to make the team better, otherwise you will find yourself with few players left because they have outgrown your ability to teach them, and can get superior coaching elsewhere.

 

[PlanoHeat]

Getting better players may help you be more competitive, but if you don't upgrade your coaching abilities, you will find yourself being exposed as just another dad that tore apart a nice team and wasn't prepared as a coach to make the jump to a higher level.

I think this is a good point. Most of the "coaches" at 12U are not really coaches, they are managers that acquire girls and do very little coaching. I'm curious if you consistently corrected a girl that is a hard worker, listens well, and doesn't goof off how did it not "stick" in a few practices? I've seen "coaches" destroy a girl’s throw and or swing in just a matter of minutes based on some crazy notion they have of what it should be and on the other hand I've had coaches make one small adjustment to a kid’s swing that gave her the ability to hit the long ball.

To me you have never given her the chance to improve and to be going through this issue now and still not give the kid a heads up of what is going on shows a lack of respect for your players. At the first thought of cutting her you should have given the daughter and the dad the opportunity to improve in the offseason instead of blindsiding them after a tryout with it. Sounds like you’re the type that will likely send an email to let them know they've been cut. Pity.

 

[Lozza]

I've seen "coaches" destroy a girl’s throw and or swing in just a matter of minutes based on some crazy notion they have of what it should be and on the other hand

I'll give you the perfect example. There's a very nice coach at my association. Been involved in the sport for years. Teaches stuff that is so old I barely remember it (I'm taking stuff I was taught at 10/11 and I'm 28) He took to correcting a girl who is one of the few who takes pitching lessons. Since I know the parents through other ways they came up to me and asked if what he was telling her was worth listening to. Gave them the advice to tell her to 'smile and nod' and ignore everything he says. He does it to my girls (and nothing makes me wilder than a person who has nothing involved with the team walking in and taking over from the coach. Unfortunately he has the backing of the board and if I say anything screaming matches happen with the president) I've become very good at biting my tongue.

 

[Sparky Guy]

These are 12 year olds, and yes as Lozza said they are actually customers of the coach. The girls spend hours with the coach, and he or she should make the players better. It is too easy a cop out to blame Dad, or not enough lessons, etc. They're 12. Did I say that enough.

Let me make an analogy here. We're going to compare playing on a softball team to being in a band.

Suzy plays the violin. She shows up to band practice and does what it she is told. Suzy does not take private lessons. Suzy does not take the violin out of the case at home. The director gives the band the piece they will be performing. Suzy does not practice it on her own. Suzy can not play the piece correctly when it comes time to perform it lowering the overall performance of the band. Suzy's parents know she is not practicing like the other girls do and know she does not play as well as them. But she has been in the band for a long time and has lots of friends in the band. Just how long do you think Suzy would be playing in the band if they were trying to raise the overall quality of the band?

Screwball, your thought process is completely backwards. In reality the coach spends comparatively very little time with each individual player teaching them, opposed to an individual instruction lesson. Yes, they should be taught how to catch, field, throw and hit. However, there is only so much a coach can do with 12+ girls in the span of a 2 hour practice, even with multiple assistant coaches on multiple days. The coach can teach the skill to a player. It is up to the player to work on the skill on her own to the point where is becomes natural. That responsibility falls squarely in the lap of the player and whoever works with her. NOT the coach. That's why teachers give kids homework at school. What was taught needs to be reenforced with repetitions.

I have worked with both dedicated and practice players. There is NOTHING more frustrating than a practice player. You teach and make sure they are doing a skill correctly only to see them the next time making the same mistakes again. When you ask them if they worked on what they were taught the string of excuses starts. The player never progresses.

The whole 12 year old argument is bunk. I have seen 12 year old kids who work their tail's off to get better. I have seen some kids who are so lazy they should not even be playing the sport. It's a matter of attitude, desire and dedication, not age. Those qualities are there from 8 - 80 no matter what a person is doing.

You pitched. Just how much time did you spend on your own working on it? Every dedicated pitcher I know of works 3 times harder than most of her teammates. Just how well do you think you would throw if you only worked at your lesson and at team practices? I doubt very well. I'm sure when you were learning how to pitch the instructor gave you drills and snaps to work on for each pitch that was taught. I'll bet you worked the drills to keep you basic mechanics fine tuned throughout your pitching career. I know my DD did. The point being you did that on your own to stay sharp.

Over the last 7 years I have worked mainly with 9 - 12 year old kids without a kid on the teams. My daughter has helped me with some of the teams. There are too many people who sell players short just because they are kids. The kids will amaze you with what they are capable of at an early age. They just need to have someone push them further than they believe they can go. Once they understand the only limits are what they let people put on them they grow exponentially.

I encourage my parents to stay and watch practice. See what their DD's are working on then take them home and keep working on it. I encourage them to ask questions if they don't understand everything about a skill that is being worked on so they know exactly what their DD should be doing and most importantly.... WHY!!!

 

[Lozza]

Maybe it's different in America, but every band I've been in has not kicked people out for not being as good. (I played cornet until I was 17. Because I spent so much time on softball I was only in school band, the brass band and the community band. If I'd wanted to go further I needed to put more practise in. I didn't.) You wouldn't get into the better bands but you would never be booted out of one.

I know softball is very different in America than it is here. There's a lot of stuff that is INSANE to me but for the most part I bite my tongue and remind myself that it's different and much more competitive in America. But kicking a 10/11 year old off a team that the parents consider a family team is just so needlessly cruel. (because while we're all talking about 12 year olds here the kids in question are even younger as this is a 12under team) I can honestly say it would have devastated me at that age if I'd been told I couldn't play with my friends. It devastated when it happened to me at 17. (team fell apart as we only had eight players. Every team had brilliant first and third bases and didn't need five players. Part of the reason I took up pitching at my new association) I cried for a week over that.