Tryouts, breaking the news: "You didn't make it"

[Lozza]

If I considered my team a family team, I would not cut her. ESPECIALLY at the age group we're talking about.

 

[CoogansBluff]

This is a 10u team we're talking about?? You were making it sound as if this was a 14u team or at least 2nd-year 12u.

It's a second-year 12U.

 

[Lozza]

What screwball said.

Half the fun of playing softball is playing with your friends. I'm 27 and I changed clubs because the women I played with, while lovely women who I do consider friends, were just not people I enjoyed playing with. They were at completly different life stages.

I changed last season to a club where everyone was my age and had the best season ever. Nearly every player has said this was the best team they were ever on (and most of us have played for 20+ years) There's talk of trying to break up the team next year. The club was told if that happened, they would lose the entire team. We're not being split up

People have loyalty to their friends, even the ones who might not be as good players as the others. But they still have loyalty because being a good friend isn't over who the better player is. It's being a good friend no matter what.

 

[CoogansBluff]

Without knowing the individuals involved, it's hard to know all of the politics involved. With a lot of girls on a B team, friendships are important also. Think through the politics. Is your number 1 pitcher best friends with the girl you plan to cut? If so, she might follow her friend to the neighboring B team so they can play together. It can be very complicated with a "family" type B team. I'm not saying this is the case for you, but just make sure you think through all of the ramifications when making you decision.

I think you're spot on w/ all the ramifications that must be considered. In this case, I don't think anyone would mind her departure. That doesn't mean they don't like her. They do. But they also want to become a better team and know that they'd be better on the field without her.

 

[Lozza]

But they also want to become a better team and know that they'd be better on the field without her.

What a horrible sentiment. Throw your friend under the bus so you can be a better soft ball team!

So much for loyalty.

 

[CoogansBluff]

You need to cut her if she is weaker than the other players you have tryout. Here's why.

You stated the dad knows how weak she is.

You said she is a practice player.

You have to continually correct the same weaknesses over and over.

It's VERY apparent the dad is not working with her.

From what you describe it sounds as though she likes to participate but has not made the sport hers.

Have you had the discussion of exactly all the negatives you've outlined here with the dad? If not you need to. The suggestion of a practice player spot sounds like a good idea for this girl. If she doesn't put the work in on her own there is nothing more you can do for her.

You know what needs to be done for the TEAM. It's OK to do what you have to do for the rest of the kids. Quit beating yourself up over it and do it.

Sorry if that seems harsh but the team needs to come first if you have a set idea of how you would like to develop them. It's never easy. I watched the director of a high-power program agonize over having to make a similar cut to a good kid who was in the program for years. She didn't measure up with the talent that showed up at tryouts. He made the cut for the good of the team.

It might be that I'm just fishing for the right post to embolden me to do what I believe is the right thing to do, but your post fits the situation very well.

A key point to understand is this: Yes, she's a nice kid who is well-behaved at practice (does what you ask, doesn't goof off), and I like her. But on the other hand, she's not someone who lives for softball and is just driven to get better, asking for lessons, putting in time outside of practice, etc. .. If her desire and work ethic was among the top 2-3 on the team, then I think there would be more reason to keep her just for that element that she brings to the team.

 

[PA SB Dad]

I think you're spot on w/ all the ramifications that must be considered. In this case, I don't think anyone would mind her departure. That doesn't mean they don't like her. They do. But they also want to become a better team and know that they'd be better on the field without her.

The reality is you are not going to keep the same team together year after year as the girls get older. I would also count on the fact that your better players WILL move on to better teams unless you are some sort of coaching genius or softball guru. Unless you have had tremendous success this year, there will be parents on your team looking for better opportunities for their kids in the upcoming tryouts. There is nothing you can do about that. Just be sure that you don't burn this bridge to find that you only have 9 players on your team because some of your best players have left for better teams.

You should be honest with the dad AND the player about your assumptions for next year - believe me, they are only assumptions. Give them the opportunity to tryout for another team - don't wait until your tryouts are over to give them the bad news if they have not had a chance to tryout for another team.

And remember at this age, you have absolutely no idea how any player's growth spurt will affect her ability to play the game in a year or two. The best players at 10U can easily be overshadowed 3 years later by hard-working late bloomers.

 

[WinThemAll]

What a horrible sentiment. Throw your friend under the bus so you can be a better soft ball team!

So much for loyalty.

There comes a time in life when you have to take steps and make choices. If you just want to have fun and looking for a surrogate family, then find that. Not everyone wants or needs that. The coach is taking the proper steps to take the team to the next level. Second year 12s is a good time to head that way.

I like my job and really like the people I work with and they like me, I contribute. But if I failed to contribute, do my job, you can bet that I would be replaced-even though it is a family atmosphere.

I have known instances of a kid being cut at tryouts, going to another team for a couple of years and then coming back a better player.

 

[CoogansBluff]

There comes a time in life when you have to take steps and make choices. If you just want to have fun and looking for a surrogate family, then find that. Not everyone wants or needs that. The coach is taking the proper steps to take the team to the next level. Second year 12s is a good time to head that way.

I like my job and really like the people I work with and they like me, I contribute. But if I failed to contribute, do my job, you can bet that I would be replaced-even though it is a family atmosphere.

I have known instances of a kid being cut at tryouts, going to another team for a couple of years and then coming back a better player.

Thanks, Pride. I had another girl who left the team last November over lack of 'prime' playing time - too much outfield, batting low in the order. She went back to rec ball, played all-stars, got to pitch and catch a little - things she would never have done w/ our team. While I don't think she and her mom wanted to hear it at the time, she had a lot more fun NOT being on my team and finding a level that more suited her abilities. My hope is that the current girl will have the same experience. There is a safety net in place called rec ball.

 

[Lozza]

There comes a time in life when you have to take steps and make choices. If you just want to have fun and looking for a surrogate family, then find that. Not everyone wants or needs that. The coach is taking the proper steps to take the team to the next level. Second year 12s is a good time to head that way.

I like my job and really like the people I work with and they like me, I contribute. But if I failed to contribute, do my job, you can bet that I would be replaced-even though it is a family atmosphere.

I have known instances of a kid being cut at tryouts, going to another team for a couple of years and then coming back a better player.

Except that this isn't a job. This is a sport that is being played by 11 year olds. Whose parents are paying the coach to coach his daughters. The OP is not paying the girls to produce wins for him.

Cut the girl. But if I was on a team that considered itself a 'family team' that had been together for a number of years and then it changed I would be quite put out. I'm the type of person that is loyal to the point of stupidity. If my child was good enough I'd also start looking for another team for my child. If it's going to be a team that is cut throat and isn't about loyalty but about the best players, then I'll put her on the best team I can find. Not the one that is a B team.