Tryouts, breaking the news: "You didn't make it"

[CoogansBluff]

I'm having tryouts in August. ...

I've got a girl who's been w/ me since forming the team three seasons ago who isn't athletic enough, IMO, to be more than just a very low-end hitter, decent outfielder on even a B-level team, which is what we are. She's our weakest player now, and there's no doubt I'm going to find 12+ players who are better for next year.

Complicating matters: She's one of four players still left on the team who grew up playing at the park where we practice. She's an original, and we're friends w/ the family, etc. Though I've always said tryouts are truly competitive, with no spots guaranteed, they don't really hear that. In the past, the only girls who didn't get re-upped were those w/ bad attitudes or bad parents. I've never failed to return a player for lack of talent - until now. This is a good kid, tries hard, but lacks the athleticism to deliver at the level I want to reach.

For the coming season, I can't keep her. I'm going to have better girls at tryouts, and she won't make the top 12 - unless I guarantee a spot to all returning players who work hard and have a good attitude, of which she is one. She's holding our better kids back.

This week, I announced tryouts (the date) and what that means. We're losing 5 players who must age up. The dad says things to me like, ''Got any prospects on filling those 5 spots?" The assumption being that 6 are assured spots.

How do I break it to them? Key point is that this family has been loyal from the start. Dad calls us a ''family'' team, and we are kinda like that. The dad is realistic about his daughter, knows she's the weakest. But he believes positions on the team are tenured.

How would you answer these questions from them --

Why can't we take the six returning girls and find the best five to replace those who are aging up? ...

We're not an A team. Why not be loyal to those who've been on the team from the start, as long as they have a good attitude and try hard? ...

It's just one player. She's happy to bat 11th and play LF. What's the harm in that?

Shouldn't it be more about the girls and not about winning?

 

[#10]

Tough spot. How will the families of the other returning players react? How is she holding the others back if she has a good work ethic and attitude?

 

[Amy in AZ.]

If you really consider your team a family and think of this girl's parents as friends, you won't cut her. It isn't worth the damage that it will do to the little girl. I have seen this scenario recently and the 12 yo took it very hard and posted on the Internet about the hurt, so much so, that I worried about her.

I hope that the girl's parents don't read your post. Someone is likely to forward it to them.

In the incident that I was told about the two families were in Sunday school together and on the same church committees. Not so much, now, and it really makes church very awkward.

 

[CoogansBluff]

Tough spot. How will the families of the other returning players react? How is she holding the others back if she has a good work ethic and attitude?

Great questions. ... I think the current families would support whatever decision I made. But, I think it would be good to ask the families that. I might be surprised. ...

The answers might depend on how the question is phrased. Is it OK to keep Jessica (not her real name) on the team? Yes. Should we make tryouts competitive and take the best 11 girls we can find? Yes.

 

[CoogansBluff]

If you really consider your team a family and think of this girl's parents as friends, you won't cut her. It isn't worth the damage that it will do to the little girl. I have seen this scenario recently and the 12 yo took it very hard and posted on the Internet about the hurt, so much so, that I worried about her.

I hope that the girl's parents don't read your post. Someone is likely to forward it to them.

In the incident that I was told about the two families were in Sunday school together and on the same church committees. Not so much, now, and it really makes church very awkward.

Thanks, Amy. Good comments. ... I don't think there's high risk of the family reading our discussion.

 

[CoachKevin]

I had the exact same situation last year. I actually used outside coaches (not in our Organization) during try-outs to assess the players. I took the best scores, period. Of course my views of the 2 players in question were correct. The phone call was kind of hard, but I told them that their scores were not up to the level we need right now. I went on to tell them that they should continue to play on the "B" Team to get more experience and try again next year.

Overall it was the best choice for the team. You really wouldn't believe that a couple of players could hold back a team, but I have seen it first hand. This year we are doing better than expected.

 

[Amy in AZ.]

I do agree and understand that one player can hold you back. Good luck.

 

[CoogansBluff]

How is she holding the others back if she has a good work ethic and attitude?

Neglected to answer this question. ...

Here's the dilemma, as I see it:

If we adopt (or maintain) the 'family team' approach, we slowly lose our better, more serious players, who want something more competitive. I'd say all of our current players want to play at a higher level. We've already experienced some players looking for 'more serious' teams when in fact I'm trying to be serious. With this 'family/loyalty' approach, we may get good players looking for a stepping stone, but it's hard to attract and maintain really good players if you're just a 'family team'. There's nothing wrong w/ a 'family' team that essentially is entry level travel travel, but some girls are going to outgrow it and want to move ahead. It's not that this one girl holds you back, per se, but it's the philosophy of not seeking out the best players and trying to get better that can hold you back.

Also - and I want to be tactful here - this girls does work and has a good attitude, but I'd still describe it as a rec attitude. She does what she's asked at practice and she listens and she hustles - at practice and in games - but she doesn't practice outside of practice, she doesn't take hitting lessons (which she really needs), she doesn't have a burning desire to improve. I don't want people to misconstrue what I mean by work ethic. For example, she has major flaws in her throwing motion that I constantly correct, and she tries to fix it -- in practice. But she needs to throw EVERY DAY to fix it, and that's not going to happen. Personally, I think she'd be better in rec ball, where she'd be better than average, maybe make the all-star team, play a few tournaments, let that be that.

 

[joemcq51]

Honestly, I believe there is a place in the game for loyalty. If you are a "B" team and that is what you will be playing next season, I don't see a reason why you wouldn't carry the extra player. I would be honest with the parents and let them know that playing time will be hard to come by. If they still want their daughter with her "family", what would the harm be? It sounds like she has a great attitude and works hard at practice. I think that one player can hurt a team, but she doesn't sound like that player. I didn't see what age group this is. I'd also hate to see you cut a girl who has a sudden growth spurt and becomes a stud player. I think you could play it different at 16U or 18U. If you are a 10U or 12U team I'd keep her.

 

[CoachKevin]

Joe has a good point. In my situation we are a 2nd year 14U, and went from "B" to "A" this year.