Travel program just wants to have fun, not really interested in improvement

[InsidePitch]

Been there, done that. If your DD wants to play at a higher level, the two of you need to find a group with similar attitudes. You will not be able to drag that group anywhere near where you seem to want to go. We wasted a year trying that.

Sounds like she is already on another club team. Just don't sign up again with the group that you feel is holding you back. No explanation is needed. If anyone asks you just say you and DD didn't have time and too bad because DD really liked playing with their kid. No one's feelings get hurt and you don't get trashed.

 

[joemcq51]

This one sounds like a case of your DD outgrowing your local rec program. Like Sluggers said earlier, only about 10% of the girls will put the effort in to continue playing after rec. You have put several years in and it seems like it is time to move on. You gave the option of increasing practices and intensity. Go find a program that matches your DD's needs at this time.

 

[undergroundga]

I believe it is time for you and your dd to move on. Those hard feeling won't be as bad as you think and your dd will be much better off.
DD plays tb and rec., but not in our town. Our rec. program has seen a major decline(can't tell you how many times I heard how great our rec. program use to be). So we go to a neighboring town where it is more competetive. We haven't run into any scheduling problems. Dds tb coach likes rec ball too and his dd plays so there usually isn't much of a problem. But I do look forward to the day when we just play tb. Rec. ball is more light hearted and the girls just don't take it as serious.

 

[left turn]

Thank you all. This is very helpful.

 

[CoachKevin]

We also come from a small town, and I can tell you that there WILL be hard feelings with you leaving, but you have to do what your DD wants to. If she wants to compete then leave and don't look back. Yes, some will talk behind your back, and your DD will also hear it from the girls. All you can do is just smile and tell them that she needed to make the move.

 

[left turn]

CoachKevin, I believe you are right. We will be quietly moving away from the program. I have already been targeted by some parents already for choosing club over town travel for the two conflicts we had last season (spring and summer travel seasons). It is no small irony that my DD was at more games than any other player in town travel. Others missed games for club basketball and club soccer or birthday parties. I am more of a target because I am on the board of directors and have been an advocate for the program and improvement of the program in general. I just hope to mitigate the heat my DD will take for her move to club ball. So many times the attitudes and words spoken at the dinner table make their way back to the kids.

In the end, my DD is having a great time with club and is rather tepid about town travel. It is a great joy to see her happy, confident and calm on the field.

I think the greatest determiner of performance excellence is how a person deals with defeat. Do they shrink away and try not to put themselves in a position where they won't have the chance to be defeated again? Or will they rise up, determined to learn enough to compete and succeed?

The parents have made their choice and there is nothing I can do about it. We will make the best of it.

 

[Ken Krause]

Left Turn, I agree with those who said leave and don't look back. You're not really abandoning the other girls. They and you are simply on different pages.

The parents will probably be mad at you because one of them will have to step up and fill the void by coaching instead of being able to drop their kids off and go on with the rest of their lives. Oh well. If a less-competent parent becomes coach, then no one will have to worry about anyone pushing the girls to get better. They can have fun all the time. Practices can be, as one of my former players used to say about her high school team, a birthday party without the cake.

Never feel bad or apologize for wanting more for your daughter. Water seeks its own level. Sounds like your daughter's level is out of town.

 

[Coach JV]

We are in our last year of 12U......

Move on quickly, there is a drastic change in the level of competition
at 14U. The way you describe these other families, their kids would
not be up to the challenge anyways. Hard feelings? sounds like envy, jealousy
etc. Do what is best for you and DD, you will be happier and isn't this what is important?

 

[SoftSocDad]

We also come from a small town, and I can tell you that there WILL be hard feelings with you leaving, but you have to do what your DD wants to. If she wants to compete then leave and don't look back. Yes, some will talk behind your back, and your DD will also hear it from the girls. All you can do is just smile and tell them that she needed to make the move.

I'm in a small town, too, and agree completely. It may happen in bigger towns, but I know it happens in small towns. When one of the best players leaves a team or organization for any reason, the resentment expressed by the parents left behind is rarely hidden from the children. The players are all fine, but even parents who might be glad their little star is getting more playing time have bittersweet feelings because now the team isn't as good.

Building community is important, but they've been fighting you all along as you've tried to improve the program, so now it's time for you to take your talents and dedication elsewhere.

 

[CoogansBluff]

Only about 1 out of 10 kids like the game enough to work at it. That is just the way it is. Some people like it, and some don't.

Great point. Never thought of how low that ratio might be, but can't dispute it.

That's why, despite a lot of talent disparity out there, that the ones who really work at it can still come out ahead. You can still outwork people. On the other hand, if they aren't one of those 1 in 10, it's hard to artificially motivate them over a long period. I've had to let go players on my travel team who didn't like it enough to work. They might be hurt at first, but it probably did them a favor. They might have more fun just playing the game in rec ball and not working. Like you said, it's just softball. If you want to work at it, great. If not, you can have fun with that too.