The appeal of a "non-parent" coach

[sumdumcoach]

I don't think you're missing anything. I think parents you're referring to had a bad situation with a parent/coach that caused them to lump all parent/coaches together and generalizations never give someone the entire picture.

IMO a good coach is a good coach.

My daughter plays for an org with a mixed bag. Mamma Coaches, Pappa Coaches, collegiate ranging from All Americans to sat the bench at the local JuCo, non parent coaches, and the individual that I personally think is the BEST overall coach is our 10u coach who has never played a day of softball in his life and that's including his time in bootcamp when it seems any athletic Marine will play some type of softball.

A close second is a young lady who is very new, works with our pitchers, she was an division 1 all conference soccer player. She was more talented at soccer but her passion is softball and it shows. She is currently an 14u assistant and will likely get her own team before we know it.

What makes them good coaches mean different things to different people within our own org, however 2 things are constant with our head coaches. First they are consistent in retention. I'm not going to say we haven't had people leave for various reasons, but it's rare for someone to leave. Second, each year as individuals and as a collective the girls just get better. They are able to do this with limited drama.

My DD is in her final year with the program and we will remain sponsors of the org because we believe firmly in what they do in our small part of the softball world.

 

[Coachintrojan]

The latest selling point for select teams in my area is the "non-parent" coach and "former college player." I can understand the appeal of a former college player (although no one seems to be checking credentials), but I'm not sold on the non-parent coach.

A few of the better players in our 8U rec league are aging up to 10U and are joining our organization's 10U select team. The team has been trying to form since spring, but hasn't generated enough interest. I was told by two parents (one was also a head coach) from different teams that they are excited to play for a non-parent coach. Never mind the fact that this coach has yet to coach a single game. The parents didn't mention anything about the coaching style or coaching experience, just that the coach is a non-parent.

I can rationalize how a non-parent coach might be better for 18U, 16U and maybe even 14U, provided said coach has had extensive success coaching in the same age division, but I just don't understand why parents of 8, 9 and 10 y/o girls want to have a non-parent coach. What am I missing?

What am I missing? Is that a prerequisite to coach or not to coach in 8,9,10u? I would want my kid be coached up by the best coach possible with the best staff possible. I wouldnt care if he's got zero kids or 13 kids.
" well that new coach sure can coach hitting and he's good with the catcher's also"....
" yeah but I heard he's a non-parent coach, I'm not letting my kid play for a non-parent coach"
See how that sounds? Lol

 

[FP26]

Generally speaking, quite a few parents seem jaded from the parent coach experience. So called "daddy ball". Whether this is through legitimate bad situations with coaches not focused on all player's best interest, or a parent donning the rose colored glasses, over estimating the talents of little Sally, is unknown. In either case the consensus is quite often that parent coaches should be avoided. I agree with many here that the quality of coaching is not always dictated by relationships. Sometimes a parent coach actually is the best coach available. Sometimes a non-parent coach is extremely biased. Each situation needs to be examined on it's own merit. One thing I do know is that if parent coaching were outlawed, a very high percentage of teams (rec and travel) would disappear tomorrow.

 

[Traps71]

I am in the good coach is a good coach camp. We have been fortunate to work with three dad coaches for the last four seasons. They generally know what they are doing and have seen their daughters' ability (and those of the other kids) pretty clearly. The head coach, in particular, has never showed his daughter any particular favoritism and, at times, been rather hard on her.

In my area, where there are probably a couple dozen orgs within an hour radius, I am not sure how many of the teams would exist--at any level--without parent volunteer coaches. I am sure some are good and some are bad. But think about how many opportunities would not exist for other girls--including mine--to learn and play this game without them. I think coachintrojan had it right: Is the coach consistently able to retain players (particularly his best players) and are the girls getting better (hopefully while having fun along the way).

Perhaps the biggest issue I've had with our dad coaches--which I am sure is not unique to them--is that they have continued to rely on the things that they've always done (and, in fairness, have worked pretty well at the 10U and 12U level) rather than always learning and applying what the best coaches and teams do in terms of practices, etc. As the girls have aged into 14U, I think this "way I've always done it approach" is starting to show. That is, we are no longer getting better at the rate we need to to be as competitive as we can be.

 

[CanOfCorn]

Generally speaking, quite a few parents seem jaded from the parent coach experience. So called "daddy ball". Whether this is through legitimate bad situations with coaches not focused on all player's best interest, or a parent donning the rose colored glasses, over estimating the talents of little Sally, is unknown. In either case the consensus is quite often that parent coaches should be avoided. I agree with many here that the quality of coaching is not always dictated by relationships. Sometimes a parent coach actually is the best coach available. Sometimes a non-parent coach is extremely biased. Each situation needs to be examined on it's own merit. One thing I do know is that if parent coaching were outlawed, a very high percentage of teams (rec and travel) would disappear tomorrow.

Your post made me think about the appeal. I wonder if some stems from experience in local leagues.

If you live in a small town or even a larger one, the local leagues may be “controlled” by a few folks so even if you try to help or volunteer by getting on the board or coaching you end up fighting the tide. Your child, good or bad ends up in the age bracket of one of these road pavers who are the epitome of the whole daddy/mommy-ball. They head coach all the teams (and through bad luck your child). This folks muscle their kids and kids friends into the prime spots sucking up all the opportunities. Anyone who isn’t in that core clique well, they get the leftovers. At some point, if that is your child on the outside you think anything has to be better BUT we are not doing the daddy-ball again. It could be an issue even if the town coach is 1/2 decent technically but isn’t equitable. That is still bad situation.

A parent then looks elsewhere but not sure what is good coaching. The appeal of non-parent and/or former player on paper looks great and in comparison might be for some.

The problem when you are a new parent in this situation, you don’t know what you don’t know.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[Cagman]

I’m sure I’m missing something, but why would a non-parent be coaching a team? Hard enough to find parents who have a baseball/softball background to volunteer, and now you’re expected to find someone w/o a kid on the team to put in the work? Even if you’re paying, it can’t possibly be that much.

If your kid is on a showcase team and has legitimate college ability, then it is important to have a coach, whether they’re paid or not, that can speak to college coaches at that level. Just because a kid played ball beyond high school doesn’t make them qualified to do that.

Maybe it’s just the way society is in general these days when it comes to youth sports, but I wouldn’t pay a dime to have anybody coach my kid at the 10, 12, and 14 level.

I’ve also found that parents that actually give a damn about the community and other kids in the community, will care a whole heck of a lot more than random people will.

 

[Eric F]

I’m sure I’m missing something, but why would a non-parent be coaching a team? Hard enough to find parents who have a baseball/softball background to volunteer, and now you’re expected to find someone w/o a kid on the team to put in the work? Even if you’re paying, it can’t possibly be that much.

If your kid is on a showcase team and has legitimate college ability, then it is important to have a coach, whether they’re paid or not, that can speak to college coaches at that level. Just because a kid played ball beyond high school doesn’t make them qualified to do that.

Maybe it’s just the way society is in general these days when it comes to youth sports, but I wouldn’t pay a dime to have anybody coach my kid at the 10, 12, and 14 level.

I’ve also found that parents that actually give a damn about the community and other kids in the community, will care a whole heck of a lot more than random people will.

The non-parent coaches I see most often are ones whose DDs have gone off to play college ball (maybe are even done with college), and they are still passionate enough about the game to keep coaching, and keep helping players become better ball players.

 

[Cagman]

The non-parent coaches I see most often are ones whose DDs have gone off to play college ball (maybe are even done with college), and they are still passionate enough about the game to keep coaching, and keep helping players become better ball players.

I see. That makes sense. I can see that. I figured I would get into umpiring who my daughter was done playing.

I just assumed it was paid coaches. I know I’m not interested in paying a coach, at least until my daughter would reach a certain level. That’s very nice they volunteer their time like that to stay involved in the game.

 

[Eric F]

I see. That makes sense. I can see that. I figured I would get into umpiring who my daughter was done playing.

I just assumed it was paid coaches. I know I’m not interested in paying a coach, at least until my daughter would reach a certain level. That’s very nice they volunteer their time like that to stay involved in the game.

Becoming an umpire is a pretty common story. If that interests you, I encourage you to do it.

Don't get me wrong, they aren't all volunteer. Some do get paid. Some don't. That said, only a very few are living off being a youth softball coach, and those are the ones at the top of large organizations. Getting paid doesn't necessarily change their passion for helping players reach their goals.

 

[FP26]

I see. That makes sense. I can see that. I figured I would get into umpiring who my daughter was done playing.

I just assumed it was paid coaches. I know I’m not interested in paying a coach, at least until my daughter would reach a certain level. That’s very nice they volunteer their time like that to stay involved in the game.

I am in that situation now. I have been coaching for 13 years, but DD is currently in college. Once her college playing days are over, I will need to find something to do with myself. I had considered taking up golf, but I am losing interest in that as the years go by. I am currently considering getting back into coaching, becoming an umpire, or getting more involved in hitting instruction. DD has a couple of years left, so I still have time to consider my decision.