The appeal of a "non-parent" coach

[FP26]

Your post made me think about the appeal. I wonder if some stems from experience in local leagues.

If you live in a small town or even a larger one, the local leagues may be “controlled” by a few folks so even if you try to help or volunteer by getting on the board or coaching you end up fighting the tide. Your child, good or bad ends up in the age bracket of one of these road pavers who are the epitome of the whole daddy/mommy-ball. They head coach all the teams (and through bad luck your child). This folks muscle their kids and kids friends into the prime spots sucking up all the opportunities. Anyone who isn’t in that core clique well, they get the leftovers. At some point, if that is your child on the outside you think anything has to be better BUT we are not doing the daddy-ball again. It could be an issue even if the town coach is 1/2 decent technically but isn’t equitable. That is still bad situation.

A parent then looks elsewhere but not sure what is good coaching. The appeal of non-parent and/or former player on paper looks great and in comparison might be for some.

The problem when you are a new parent in this situation, you don’t know what you don’t know.


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There is a great deal of truth in your post. I live in a small town. When DD was younger and just getting involved in softball, we did what we could to help the program. The local org oversees softball, baseball, football, and cheer leading. The board members were predominantly parents of baseball and football players. Softball did not have much say in decisions, and it took several years of debates to create any significant change.

My introduction into coaching was not completely voluntary. I was essentially "drafted" to coach soccer and basketball. My experience with parents to that point was not a positive one. I loved coaching the players, but could do without the parents... When DD decided she wanted to play softball, I promised my wife that I would not coach. Just not worth the anxiety it created. Shortly after sign ups, I received a call from the org president asking me if I would be willing to coach. I politely refused. A week later we received another call from the vice president stating that the softball program would not have a team because they could not find someone willing to coach. After a discussion with my wife, I reluctantly accepted the position. Ultimately it was the right choice. I enjoyed coaching. But again, dealing with a dozen 8 year olds is far easier than 2 or 3 parents that think their little princess is perfect and wants to question every move you, the team, and the organization make. At the start, I did the best I could to appease and satisfy everyone. That was my mistake. Gradually I learned that it is impossible to satisfy everyone. At that time coaching became much easier.

 

[Rick M]

I’m sure I’m missing something, but why would a non-parent be coaching a team? Hard enough to find parents who have a baseball/softball background to volunteer, and now you’re expected to find someone w/o a kid on the team to put in the work? Even if you’re paying, it can’t possibly be that much.

In DD's travel org, there are basically two kinds of coaches: those who currently coach in high school or college, and those who have coached at the college level but no longer do so. All of them are paid, and none have a kid in the program.

Why do they do it? Because they love the game, first and foremost. Yes they're getting paid, but for all the hand-wringing you see online about the high cost of travel ball what does it really add up to? Maybe $7-$10K for a coach to spend 2-3 days a week 10 months a year working with a team, plus whole weekends from May through July and again in September & October. If you really sat down to figure it out (I haven't), it must be less than $20 on an hourly basis.

So again, why? I'll share a bit of a personal story that may help to explain. I worked for 20 years in one area, and eventually rose to the top of my field. Then, the work that I did was replaced with technology -- they didn't need people to do it anymore. I still feel a deep sense of loss at all of the time and effort that I put into perfecting a craft that no longer exists. Someone who has spent their life becoming the best softball coach they can be will likely never just walk away from it -- it's what they do and a part of who they are.

 

[uncdrew]

Let's see...

40 weeks of practices, 2 practices per week average, 3 hours (door to door): 40 x 2 x 3 = 240 hours per year
15 Tournaments, most 1-day, 7:00 am to 10pm on average: 15 x 15 = 225 hours

So that's 465 hours. Let's round up to 500 to include time spent talking to parents, planning, admin crap, etc.

$10,000 paid per year for 500 hours. That comes to $20 per hour. Rick M, you nailed it.

 

[uncdrew]

I may go back to coaching Rec ball when I'm retired. Assuming I'm healthy.

There's love of the game, sense of giving back to the community, being outside, social and active. And just the benefits from volunteering.

And if you can make a difference in someone's life? See some smiles as girls are proud of their accomplishments? As you get old you realize those are the most important things in life.