The appeal of a "non-parent" coach

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May 1, 2018
659
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My humble opinion as a parent and head coach.
1. a non-parent is less invested into the team and possibly has multiple teams they are running. (Before I had kids I coach 3 baseball teams)
2. Former college player can be great, (myself and my asst both played college baseball) but that doesn’t mean they can coach. Gretzky and MJ prove that.
3. if you can find the guy/girl who is a parent, a good coach, and doesn’t play favorites. That’s a win imo.
 
Apr 28, 2014
2,316
113
Parents must be realistic about their kids skills. This one is hard... Every parent overestimates their own kid. That's human nature, but to be fair you must overcome that tendency.
Doesn't mean parents needs to underestimate or talk down about their kids but strike a healthy balance.
I do know that some HS and travel teams have politics but the overwhelming amount of the issues come from kids or parents who are not honest with themselves about their kids ability.
 
Hello first time posting new to the site. This topic is a neverending thing. I am an assistant coach of my dd's team my buddy is the head coach he also has a daughter on the team we are a first 14u this season coming from 2 yrs of 12u. Our first year of 12 u we had a different head coach and without a doubt he was daddy ball all the way his daughter pitched played wherever she wanted if she got bored with where she was just go right out to another position play forgot to mention she was not very good he never said anything she would walk run after run in when pitching if we were losing which we took some lumps as a first yr 12u all our girls first time ever playing travel he would leave the dugout and go sit with his family that season we went 10-22-2 longest summer of my life so he left the team with her told us nothing about what was gonna happen with the team so myself and my buddy took the team over same girls 2 aged out and him and his daughter gone so we picked up 3 new girls to add to our core group we went 30-17 in our second year of 12 u and if anything if you have a dd on the team you coach those girls need to shine every inning on defense and every time at bat to show that they deserve the spot they have and wasnt just handed to them my dd plays ss bats 3rd and my buddy dd plays 2b bats 2nd they get on base they drive runs in and they both know they are under a microscope because we are coaches some parents even say to us that we are way harder on our 2 than the other girls we are because I dont ever want to hear that we play favorites to our dd's and if another girl comes in and is hands down better than ours our daughters will be finding a new position to play we all have fun they play their hearts out for us every inning of every game and win or lose if you left it all out on the field you have nothing to be ashamed of if you lose you walk off the field with your head held high and know that you got beat by a better team that day
 
Jun 11, 2013
15
3
The latest selling point for select teams in my area is the "non-parent" coach and "former college player." I can understand the appeal of a former college player (although no one seems to be checking credentials), but I'm not sold on the non-parent coach.

A few of the better players in our 8U rec league are aging up to 10U and are joining our organization's 10U select team. The team has been trying to form since spring, but hasn't generated enough interest. I was told by two parents (one was also a head coach) from different teams that they are excited to play for a non-parent coach. Never mind the fact that this coach has yet to coach a single game. The parents didn't mention anything about the coaching style or coaching experience, just that the coach is a non-parent.

I can rationalize how a non-parent coach might be better for 18U, 16U and maybe even 14U, provided said coach has had extensive success coaching in the same age division, but I just don't understand why parents of 8, 9 and 10 y/o girls want to have a non-parent coach. What am I missing?
The effects of parent coaching may not always be so obvious, and is not always related to behavior on the field. My DD played for parent coaches who's daughters were both middle infielders (a pretty common situation undoubtedly). The coaches professed they did not treat their daughters any different, and that may have seemed true on the field. However, at the end of year banquet it was announced they would be, or had already brought in, catchers and corners, positions they were already pretty deep in. There was no attempt to recruit middle infielders, which had been a weak area all year. So while the demeanor on the field could be viewed as fair, the game was already slanted.
 
Oct 4, 2018
4,611
113
Hello first time posting new to the site. This topic is a neverending thing. I am an assistant coach of my dd's team my buddy is the head coach he also has a daughter on the team we are a first 14u this season coming from 2 yrs of 12u. Our first year of 12 u we had a different head coach and without a doubt he was daddy ball all the way his daughter pitched played wherever she wanted if she got bored with where she was just go right out to another position play forgot to mention she was not very good he never said anything she would walk run after run in when pitching if we were losing which we took some lumps as a first yr 12u all our girls first time ever playing travel he would leave the dugout and go sit with his family that season we went 10-22-2 longest summer of my life so he left the team with her told us nothing about what was gonna happen with the team so myself and my buddy took the team over same girls 2 aged out and him and his daughter gone so we picked up 3 new girls to add to our core group we went 30-17 in our second year of 12 u and if anything if you have a dd on the team you coach those girls need to shine every inning on defense and every time at bat to show that they deserve the spot they have and wasnt just handed to them my dd plays ss bats 3rd and my buddy dd plays 2b bats 2nd they get on base they drive runs in and they both know they are under a microscope because we are coaches some parents even say to us that we are way harder on our 2 than the other girls we are because I dont ever want to hear that we play favorites to our dd's and if another girl comes in and is hands down better than ours our daughters will be finding a new position to play we all have fun they play their hearts out for us every inning of every game and win or lose if you left it all out on the field you have nothing to be ashamed of if you lose you walk off the field with your head held high and know that you got beat by a better team that day

It's all talk until it happens. When that girl who is better than your daughter comes along... that's when we learn if it's daddy ball or not. Until then, it's just talk.
 
Aug 2, 2019
343
63
Hello first time posting new to the site. This topic is a neverending thing. I am an assistant coach of my dd's team my buddy is the head coach he also has a daughter on the team we are a first 14u this season coming from 2 yrs of 12u. Our first year of 12 u we had a different head coach and without a doubt he was daddy ball all the way his daughter pitched played wherever she wanted if she got bored with where she was just go right out to another position play forgot to mention she was not very good he never said anything she would walk run after run in when pitching if we were losing which we took some lumps as a first yr 12u all our girls first time ever playing travel he would leave the dugout and go sit with his family that season we went 10-22-2 longest summer of my life so he left the team with her told us nothing about what was gonna happen with the team so myself and my buddy took the team over same girls 2 aged out and him and his daughter gone so we picked up 3 new girls to add to our core group we went 30-17 in our second year of 12 u and if anything if you have a dd on the team you coach those girls need to shine every inning on defense and every time at bat to show that they deserve the spot they have and wasnt just handed to them my dd plays ss bats 3rd and my buddy dd plays 2b bats 2nd they get on base they drive runs in and they both know they are under a microscope because we are coaches some parents even say to us that we are way harder on our 2 than the other girls we are because I dont ever want to hear that we play favorites to our dd's and if another girl comes in and is hands down better than ours our daughters will be finding a new position to play we all have fun they play their hearts out for us every inning of every game and win or lose if you left it all out on the field you have nothing to be ashamed of if you lose you walk off the field with your head held high and know that you got beat by a better team that day
Your keyboard broken? I hate to be the grammar guy, but that is unreadable without punctuation.
 
May 24, 2013
12,461
113
So Cal
Hello first time posting new to the site. This topic is a neverending thing. I am an assistant coach of my dd's team my buddy is the head coach he also has a daughter on the team we are a first 14u this season coming from 2 yrs of 12u. Our first year of 12 u we had a different head coach and without a doubt he was daddy ball all the way his daughter pitched played wherever she wanted if she got bored with where she was just go right out to another position play forgot to mention she was not very good he never said anything she would walk run after run in when pitching if we were losing which we took some lumps as a first yr 12u all our girls first time ever playing travel he would leave the dugout and go sit with his family that season we went 10-22-2 longest summer of my life so he left the team with her told us nothing about what was gonna happen with the team so myself and my buddy took the team over same girls 2 aged out and him and his daughter gone so we picked up 3 new girls to add to our core group we went 30-17 in our second year of 12 u and if anything if you have a dd on the team you coach those girls need to shine every inning on defense and every time at bat to show that they deserve the spot they have and wasnt just handed to them my dd plays ss bats 3rd and my buddy dd plays 2b bats 2nd they get on base they drive runs in and they both know they are under a microscope because we are coaches some parents even say to us that we are way harder on our 2 than the other girls we are because I dont ever want to hear that we play favorites to our dd's and if another girl comes in and is hands down better than ours our daughters will be finding a new position to play we all have fun they play their hearts out for us every inning of every game and win or lose if you left it all out on the field you have nothing to be ashamed of if you lose you walk off the field with your head held high and know that you got beat by a better team that day

Sorry, man, but that was rough to get through.

Here's the TL/DR version...
Bad daddy-ball experience with previous HC. Now coaching the team with a friend. Things are better. Coaches kids know they have to earn their spots. Have fun. Play hard.
 

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