The appeal of a "non-parent" coach

[JumboJack]

Hello first time posting new to the site. This topic is a neverending thing. I am an assistant coach of my dd's team my buddy is the head coach he also has a daughter on the team we are a first 14u this season coming from 2 yrs of 12u. Our first year of 12 u we had a different head coach and without a doubt he was daddy ball all the way his daughter pitched played wherever she wanted if she got bored with where she was just go right out to another position play forgot to mention she was not very good he never said anything she would walk run after run in when pitching if we were losing which we took some lumps as a first yr 12u all our girls first time ever playing travel he would leave the dugout and go sit with his family that season we went 10-22-2 longest summer of my life so he left the team with her told us nothing about what was gonna happen with the team so myself and my buddy took the team over same girls 2 aged out and him and his daughter gone so we picked up 3 new girls to add to our core group we went 30-17 in our second year of 12 u and if anything if you have a dd on the team you coach those girls need to shine every inning on defense and every time at bat to show that they deserve the spot they have and wasnt just handed to them my dd plays ss bats 3rd and my buddy dd plays 2b bats 2nd they get on base they drive runs in and they both know they are under a microscope because we are coaches some parents even say to us that we are way harder on our 2 than the other girls we are because I dont ever want to hear that we play favorites to our dd's and if another girl comes in and is hands down better than ours our daughters will be finding a new position to play we all have fun they play their hearts out for us every inning of every game and win or lose if you left it all out on the field you have nothing to be ashamed of if you lose you walk off the field with your head held high and know that you got beat by a better team that day

That might be the longest sentence in the history of the internet.

 

[CloudofDust]

Wow, 8 pages now...I didn't know this would be such a hot topic. But, again, I appreciate all the different perspectives. My take away is that the decision is really a personal decision, influenced by each family's unique and individual experiences. The skill level of the coach, as well as the DD are also big factors, as good players will most often get some favoritism and good coaches will work to develop all the players and help them get better.

@Batesville - thanks for posting and welcome to the forum

 

[Pitchcaller]

The latest selling point for select teams in my area is the "non-parent" coach and "former college player." I can understand the appeal of a former college player (although no one seems to be checking credentials), but I'm not sold on the non-parent coach.

A few of the better players in our 8U rec league are aging up to 10U and are joining our organization's 10U select team. The team has been trying to form since spring, but hasn't generated enough interest. I was told by two parents (one was also a head coach) from different teams that they are excited to play for a non-parent coach. Never mind the fact that this coach has yet to coach a single game. The parents didn't mention anything about the coaching style or coaching experience, just that the coach is a non-parent.

I can rationalize how a non-parent coach might be better for 18U, 16U and maybe even 14U, provided said coach has had extensive success coaching in the same age division, but I just don't understand why parents of 8, 9 and 10 y/o girls want to have a non-parent coach. What am I missing?

First and foremost, coaching experience is a must. I can tell you from past experience this is born out of a desire to eliminate "Daddy ball". Unfortunately there are too many coaches that place their daughters in the positions they want to be in regardless of the impact on the team or it's success. Too many players don't get to play the positions they are best at because the coaches kid already has that spot. I am an assistant coach at 14u club level B with our head coach being a non-player coach. He is 10+ years experience and our girls love him. This is in part because they feel his decisions are fair - no interest other than seeing them excel as a team.

 

[Rick M]

Hello first time posting new to the site.

Welcome to DFP, you're in for some great information. Now, for the snark:

I am an assistant coach of my dd's team my buddy is the head coach...
my dd plays ss bats 3rd and my buddy dd plays 2b bats 2nd

So, HC's daughter plays 2B and bats second, AC's daughter plays SS and bats third. Why does that sound familiar?

 

[chewbaluba]

I was a parent coach from 8U to 12U and transitioned to a non-parent coach at 14U and I transitioned to org president at the time. I was a big advocate for professional (paid) non-parent coaches at that age (14+) and tried introducing as AC's at younger ages as well.

I felt the strongest argument for non-parent, professional coaches was the reduced bias in tryouts. I had seen enough cases of community relationships being destroyed because a girl didn't make an A-team, rightly or not, with animosity toward the HC or AC parent coach. However, in giving too much autonomy to the non-parent HC to make roster decisions, bad things happened there. I think perhaps ex-parent oversight with rankings and drawing the line would have been the right balance in that case, if you have that luxury.

Looking back as a parent coach, at younger ages, The coaches' DD's (including my own) were OBP machines and no one grumbled, but they would get ~15% more ABs over the course of the season and probably got that much better, because of the chances. I now think that lineups should be rolling on play-in games. I.e. the leadoff in the next game is the batter on deck when the last game ends, to level the PAs across the board. I'd be curious to any counter-points to this approach, besides just being less likely to win the game.

 

[BrianTx01]

Find me a below-average player whose parents are willing to commit to volunteering to coach a team.

I know a couple of coaches that fit this category. I personally have wondered why they just didn't go coach rec or a C division select team so their DD could be more successful.

 

[EC22]

Without parent coaches the sport would likely not exist or at least thrive. I have all respect for those that try. AC'd my DD through 1st yr 14 and stepped away. If your DD is dedicated to the sport and wants the best opportunity to continue into college, it is best they move away from a parent coached team.
If your DD is older, has long term ambition and you are happy with a parent coach situation, you are either:
* the parent coach
* the PC coach's spouse
* or very lucky

Even with a great parent coach, there are always negative perception deserved or not.

 

[uncdrew]

I was a parent coach from 8U to 12U and transitioned to a non-parent coach at 14U and I transitioned to org president at the time. I was a big advocate for professional (paid) non-parent coaches at that age (14+) and tried introducing as AC's at younger ages as well.

I felt the strongest argument for non-parent, professional coaches was the reduced bias in tryouts. I had seen enough cases of community relationships being destroyed because a girl didn't make an A-team, rightly or not, with animosity toward the HC or AC parent coach. However, in giving too much autonomy to the non-parent HC to make roster decisions, bad things happened there. I think perhaps ex-parent oversight with rankings and drawing the line would have been the right balance in that case, if you have that luxury.

Looking back as a parent coach, at younger ages, The coaches' DD's (including my own) were OBP machines and no one grumbled, but they would get ~15% more ABs over the course of the season and probably got that much better, because of the chances. I now think that lineups should be rolling on play-in games. I.e. the leadoff in the next game is the batter on deck when the last game ends, to level the PAs across the board. I'd be curious to any counter-points to this approach, besides just being less likely to win the game.

That's a really good point.

Ours is a community team. And in try-outs, there is a lot of desire to keep the nice families and community friends on the team. And if a parent coach does not do that, it can get really ugly. A non-parent coach can make the right decision and suffer far less potential drama/stigma from that.

 

[uncdrew]

I was a parent coach from 8U to 12U and transitioned to a non-parent coach at 14U and I transitioned to org president at the time. I was a big advocate for professional (paid) non-parent coaches at that age (14+) and tried introducing as AC's at younger ages as well.

I felt the strongest argument for non-parent, professional coaches was the reduced bias in tryouts. I had seen enough cases of community relationships being destroyed because a girl didn't make an A-team, rightly or not, with animosity toward the HC or AC parent coach. However, in giving too much autonomy to the non-parent HC to make roster decisions, bad things happened there. I think perhaps ex-parent oversight with rankings and drawing the line would have been the right balance in that case, if you have that luxury.

Looking back as a parent coach, at younger ages, The coaches' DD's (including my own) were OBP machines and no one grumbled, but they would get ~15% more ABs over the course of the season and probably got that much better, because of the chances. I now think that lineups should be rolling on play-in games. I.e. the leadoff in the next game is the batter on deck when the last game ends, to level the PAs across the board. I'd be curious to any counter-points to this approach, besides just being less likely to win the game.

We used the rolling batting line-up in lots of our pool games last year. Quite honestly, in 10U travel games are timed and some games the top 4 batters get 2 ABs and everyone else gets 1. Across an entire season that's a huge difference.

Current (non-parent) coach does same batting order every game. My DD bats 4, so I'm fine with the extra ABs for her. Hey, I'm not coach anymore. Can't get mad at me about it.

 

[salderman#19]

Reading threads such as this really makes me thankful for the team my DD plays for. I was AC for DD's team from 8U - second year 10s. I stepped back because I'm not a coach, I'm just a guy that played ball all my life. I can teach "back yard" tactics but that doesn't cut it in today's age and game. DD is an 08 and we finally made the move to a team full of 08s instead of her playing up all the time. The 08 team we moved to has a lot of great players and when we moved to 12s for the first time this fall, we actually won a few high quality tournaments. Our HC's daughter plays a little infield but mostly outfield and sits the bench more than most. Our AC's daughter pitches and plays infield and deserves to play those spots. She may have the nastiest change up of any kid I've seen at this age. I've been on both side of this fence and I agree it's a crap shoot but without parent coaches, who knows where the game would be. I certainly don't think it would be as big of a sport as it is.