Team Rules~No player/parent interaction at the ballpark

[radness]

@wdleggett , & @PapaBear
Can read in your posts that you recognize at times parents do cross a line of interacting with their kids when they're with their team.

From that recognize that there could be parents who make a name for themselves and their reputation precedes them. Certainly that problem does.

From that can see the reasoning to nip the situation immediately by setting that standard. So the coach doesnt have to babysit the parents during the season, especially at games and heated tournament situations where that can add immediate drama and definitely not something coaches want to have to tackle when they're trying to Coach the team.
To Avoid drama bomb moments,
The coach set a standard at the beginning to avoid those incidental possibilities that probability says will happen.

 

[PapaBear]

@wdleggett , & @PapaBear
Can read in your posts that you recognize at times parents do cross a line of interacting with their kids when they're with their team.

From that recognize that there could be parents who make a name for themselves and their reputation precedes them. Certainly that problem does.

From that can see the reasoning to nip the situation immediately by setting that standard. So that they don't have to babysit the parents during the season, especially at games and heated tournament situations where that can add immediate drama and definitely not something coaches want to have to tackle when they're trying to Coach the team.
To Avoid drama bomb moments,
The coach set a standard at the beginning to avoid those incidental possibilities that probability says will happen.

Wholeheartedly, parents suck and ruin it for the kid/team. Culture and standard has to be created and established so there is no grey area. As mine got older and she formed into the player she is today, I had less interaction and more if she wants to talk about it. What did me talking after the fact do to help a 10U-12U kid? Nothing, she grew and learned from it. She became a better player and I enjoyed watching her grow when and I just enjoyed the time and what she is accomplishing on the field.

 

[radness]

Wholeheartedly, parents suck and ruin it for the kid/team. Culture and standard has to be created and established so there is no grey area.

There's a statement that could have been another way to introduce the purpose of what this coach did

Somebody commented it's old-school micromanaging. However there are teams that do this today. Perhaps it's because they learned it is successful?!

Something that is part of today's softball culture that wasn't in the past is social media.
To that there are some coaches that make the announcement
'if I ever see negative gossiping about our team on social media you will be removed from the team'.

 

[John 800]

I have one dd that would thrive in that situation, and one that would absolutely explode. I understand the approach, but I would second that it sounds like micro management. To me the bigger issue that really has not been discussed that I have seen is weather or not it was a clear ahead of time. And I dont mean before we got to a tournament, nor at a beginning of the year meeting. If that is how you want to coach that should be written into team policy that is accessible BEFORE the kid even tries out. Telling me that after my yonger dd tried out is to late wasting both of our time, telling me before my older dd tried out would probably steer her towards that team.

 

[jdint]

Geez. This softball is serious business.

 

[radness]

How i see it
There are two sides to the management coin.

Manage it now or manage it later.

Calling it micromanaging is only expressing that there is specific details to the managing.
Micromanaging could also be overseeing all the helicoptering parent moments and deciding which ones are okay and which ones aren't which that in itself can be disruptive drama bomb comes from that.
Cuz you darn well know that parents are watching what other parents are doing who gets away with what...


There is a under lining point to this discussion, that is the conundrum of how to deal with the effect of what parents can do to a player/team in the moment and throughout the day.!

Of course that is depending on whether or not parents think they are of positive or negative influence and possibly unaware or uncaring of the disruption that can follow their actions.
(Not always a pretty topic)

 

[PapaBear]

There's a statement that could have been another way to introduce the purpose of what this coach did

Somebody commented it's old-school micromanaging. However there are teams that do this today. Perhaps it's because they learned it is successful?!

Something that is part of today's softball culture that wasn't in the past is social media.
To that there are some coaches that make the announcement
'if I ever see negative gossiping about our team on social media you will be removed from the team'.

I mentioned it (old school), ways we were coached for the most part is gone today. Too much stress put on players to perform at high level each game that it does more bad than good most of the time. Social media self hype, parents investing money into travel/pitching and hitting coaches is being used against the kid as a tool. It is lost sometimes in the moment that these are still kids who make mistakes. How is success measured by doing this? Trophy, wins, college opportunities, travel coast to coast and considered top tier? I can speak for mine, she played on one Top 10 PGF team. She enjoyed the low key approach, but once you hit the entrance/field it was expected for everyone to do their job.

When I coached at each tryout I handed out the Mathieny Manifesto for parents and players to read. It was a blue print for how things were going to be and no matter if your child made our team or not, you are now aware of the issue in youth sports. That was some years ago but I felt better as a coach getting that out there to show parents this is a problem, more times than not it is not the kid but you.

Full disclosure, I became a better coach when I stopped micromanaging every little aspect of the team. A trusted coach told me he saw the path we were going down and he seen it many times. With success comes either more pressure or less, he told me to approach with caution because I was taking on too much to keep the machine going, to ease up and let the players play and coaches coach.

 

[23and9]

What happened when there was a 1 or 2 game break in between? That could be 2-3 hours of downtime. Coach was a babysitter?

Every year it was known, stay away pre game, during game, and after game meeting. Any breaks between game’s what’s the problem with sitting with your parents and having a snack or lunch, or meandering to another field with teammates to watch former teammates play in their games?

This is when the fun gets sucked out of the game when coaches become dictators.

 

[radness]

When I coached at each tryout I handed out the Mathieny Manifesto for parents and players to read. It was a blue print for how things were going to be and no matter if your child made our team or not, you are now aware of the issue in youth sports. That was some years ago but I felt better as a coach getting that out there to show parents this is a problem, more times than not it is not the kid but you.

There's an effort at helping the situation!

Communication is helpful but it takes people wanting to pay attention and be active in cooperating.

 

[radness]

What happened when there was a 1 or 2 game break in between? That could be 2-3 hours of downtime. Coach was a babysitter?

Every year it was known, stay away pre game, during game, and after game meeting. Any breaks between game’s what’s the problem with sitting with your parents and having a snack or lunch, or meandering to another field with teammates to watch former teammates play in their games?

This is when the fun gets sucked out of the game when coaches become dictators.

Do you think all parents are following the unwritten guidelines of appropriate?


It may not be an environment you would like to be in but other people waited in line in hopes to be on that team, and coached by that coach.