Switch teams?

[undergroundga]

So, what you are saying is that once you have a job and another one like you like more comes up you wouldn't take it??? It is early in the whole process of this thing, if you and your DD like the other team better go. Explain what happened to this team and move on. It's not you you are leaving them high and dry 2 weeks before the state tournament. This is the nature of the beast.

So, what you are saying is that if a hot young woman comes along I should leave my wife and kids to have fun????? I can just explain to them how she is young and we have so much fun and move on.
I know that is a stretch as is the job comment. Unless there is a contract, which legally you have to honor(unless you are in the NFL)changing jobs is different.
Whether it is the nature of the beast or not when you make a committment to a team(especially one that welcomed you in, when others wouldn't) it is just that a committment. I want my kids to do what they say they are gonna do, because it is the right thing to do. Regardless of what everyone else is doing.

 

[FPMark]

I guess I'm wondering why a 12U team is holding tryouts in August for a team that won't play untill next spring. That is entirely too long to go without playing at least one or two tournaments in the fall. I know at that age around here, most teams play fall tournaments and it is not unusual for girls to change teams in the spring.

Fall is a time when most new teams are finding out what positions they have secured and what positions they may need help with for the spring/summer season. Girls who don't get the playing time they think they deserve, or who decide the team is not as competitive as they were lead to believe, start looking at other opportunities for the spring/summer.

If the team is not going to play at all during the fall, I would be tempted to tell the coach your DD wants to play on the new team that will be playing this fall. You will contact him after the fall season to let him know her plans for next spring.

 

[BrianMonk]

So, what you are saying is that if a hot young woman comes along I should leave my wife and kids to have fun????? I can just explain to them how she is young and we have so much fun and move on.
I

Anyone seen an emoticon for a major drama queen?

 

[WinThemAll]

Anyone seen an emoticon for a major drama queen?

LOL!!! Too funny!

 

[Quake Softball]

So, what you are saying is that if a hot young woman comes along I should leave my wife and kids to have fun????? I can just explain to them how she is young and we have so much fun and move on.
I know that is a stretch as is the job comment. Unless there is a contract, which legally you have to honor(unless you are in the NFL)changing jobs is different.
Whether it is the nature of the beast or not when you make a committment to a team(especially one that welcomed you in, when others wouldn't) it is just that a committment. I want my kids to do what they say they are gonna do, because it is the right thing to do. Regardless of what everyone else is doing.

Seriously??? You are gong to try comparing leaving a softball team to cheating on your spouse???? Get a clue.

 

[howellhandmade]

Seriously??? You are gong to try comparing leaving a softball team to cheating on your spouse???? Get a clue.

Oh, I dunno, I don't think it's a ridiculous comparison. Yes, the scale is tremendously different. The consequences of abandoning a softball commitment are small compared to abandoning a family, but very rarely do people start off with big decisions, they start with small ones that set the pattern for future decisions that may turn out to be big. That's the logical extension of one side of the argument, anyway. Ramp it up and see how the logic holds. The other side is, how bad can leaving the team be if so many players have already done it? Why is it MY job to think about the team when everybody else who got a better opportunity already turned in to a vapor trail? Anyone care to apply that one to marriage?

Yes, a softball team is different from a marriage. The ability or inability to place a personal commitment ahead of personal gain or gratification, not so much. It's no big news, people are generally wired to do whatever the heck they want and then build some justification for it, but if nobody ever took one for the team, we wouldn't have much of a society.

 

[undergroundga]

I knew that comment would draw some outrage and it should. Like I said it was a stretch. Kinda like like leaving a job for a better job was a stretch. It was a bit extreme.
We always talk about the good life lessons we can teach our kids through softball/organized sports, but we can also teach them negative lessons and I think not honoring a committment is one. I think it is a bad idea to teach your kids that it's ok to break a committment just because the grass is greener. If they see at a young age that it's ok not to stick by your word then there is no telling where it may lead when they are older.

 

[fab44]

We have a few girls in our area that have bounced around from team to team looking for better opportunities for themselves and sometimes it has paid off for them. They are elite players looking for elite teams and more visibility to college coaches. These players, however, seem not to have the "team" concept going for them. My daughter has played with the same group of girls since she was 10, give or take a few players and she would die for her teammates. To me that is what life is about...not better opportunities but she should decide for herself.

 

[BrianMonk]

Oh, I dunno, I don't think it's a ridiculous comparison.

Yes it is ridiculous…utterly –perhaps that was the point.

This is 12u softball and on top of that a team unexpectedly folded. She’s been to 2 practices in the FALL. Whoop dee do.

If it’s in her best interest to switch, do it and do it now. Simple tell both teams….the truth. Anyone that asks now or later about switching teams, simply tell them….the truth.

We were inexperienced, we were scrambling, we made a hasty decision and very soon after realized it wasn’t a good fit and quickly parted ways.

What’s so tough or wrong about that? Nothing.

It’s not the middle of the season. It’s not some experienced player that is doing it for spite or malice. It’s not being done to screw anyone over. It’s simply being done to benefit a player.

I will promise you your daughter will not turn into a habitual liar or develop commitment phobia or alter that status of our society based on this decision.

Anyone that tells you such things is full of nonsense.

 

[FormerPlayerCoach]

I've been a follower of this site for awhile now, and rarely make it into the parents section. But this thread caught my attention from Ken's email today.

This is from a current (non parent) coach's perspective so take it how you will. I see the content of this thread as one of the things that is majorly wrong with youth softball today. Players (and often times its more the parents) have no sense of team and loyalty to a commitment. Whether it is shown in the player that won't bunt their runner over, my player that wants to quit after not playing every inning this weekend, or players that want to jump from team to team as soon as things aren't perfect with the team they have committed to. This ME, ME, ME mentality is rampant in travel ball today and it saddens me.

As far the original post is concerned, if tryouts are over the season has started. Period. It is extremely difficult to replace a player after tryouts, and rarely happens. In most cases, the team was formed at tryouts and other players were not chosen so that your daughter could be on the team. Your daughter plays a very specific role on the team, and her teammates are relying on her to continue to play that role until the end of the season that she committed to. When a player leaves, she doesn't just let down the coach but also all of the players on the team.

I realize that the other team might be a great opportunity, but the commitment that was made and the life long lesson that will be learned is much more important. If there is an opening on the other team now, it will be there in Spring. Fall is a very short season, it will only be a couple of months before Spring tryouts start. If the coach for the new team really wants her, you should see if she can guest play for them when your original team is not playing. Let the new coach know that you want to be on their team, but you have a commitment that you must honor. NO coach will hold that against you.