Switch teams?

[redhack]

Is not playing softball about having fun??

What is more important?

Having fun as a 12yr child or commitment????

 

[BrianMonk]

As far the original post is concerned, if tryouts are over the season has started. Period.

(in fact her team isn't going to play in the Fall...just practice).

It is extremely difficult to replace a player after tryouts, and rarely happens.

Players get added of the course of fall and winter on a lot of teams. Just look at the teams advertising now looking for players.

If there is an opening on the other team now, it will be there in Spring. Fall is a very short season, it will only be a couple of months before Spring tryouts start.

This is for the entire year so if she stays there is no moving teams until next August...it isn't just for the Fall (in fact her team isn't going to play in the Fall...just practice).

If the coach for the new team really wants her, you should see if she can guest play for them when your original team is not playing.

Another team (we didn’t know prior to accepting that this team was an option) is still short a couple of players and asked her to guest for them in the fall. Since her team isn’t ready to play in tournaments she excitedly took the opportunity.

 

[undergroundga]

Here is the dilemma...

So scrambling a little to find a team (and she would not be available to tryout the last half of august) she had a private tryout with a newly forming team at an established organization and was offered a spot. Turns out the players and the coaches are all doing select for the first time. They are a good group of girls and we personally like the coaches but DD immediately noticed the difference. We figured that we would try to make the most of it and at least she had a place to play (we have had 2 practices) so I even asked the other coaches if I could help coach.


Switch teams or honor the original commitment?

From the wording in the original post a committment was made. Not just a few practices to see how things looked but a committment.
I can imagine that after facing the possibility of not playing the parent was relieved that there was a spot for dd. And this was a private tryout, not a big group tryout, so someone took time out of their own schedule to give this girl a chance.
I would be willing to bet that if most of our dds wanted to just quite in the middle of the season most would not let her. But isn't that what she is doing. She might not be quiteing the sport all together but she is quiteing on this team. If it is after tryouts and even more importantly a committment(by the original posters words) the season has begun.
If dd is allowed to break this committment will she grow up to be a liar, a drug addict, or have committment issues? I think not. But if you think small things like this don't add up and affect the way your child develops as a person not just an athlete you are wrong. Our children are watching every move we make and like it or not, are affected by the way we react to situations more than by how we tell them they should react.

 

[29dad]

This isn't just a fall season. This is for the entire year. Given that you didn't even have the opportunity to see the other players before you made your "commitment," I believe you owe it to your daughter to let her play on the team she wants to play for. This is September, not April Huge difference. Good luck.

 

[andyh64000]

Epilogue...

Thanks again for all of the responses…they really helped

I decided to let her switch teams.

It came down to what I thought was in her best interest. This is an important developmental year for her since she moves up to 14u next year (and most from the first team will not) and if she craves a greater challenge so she can become a better player then I have to let her. If it were only a Fall commitment or it was during the middle of Spring of course she would have stayed. But we are just two weeks in and waiting until next August to change teams just didn’t make sense.
In hindsight, acceptance should have been contingent on seeing how the fit was after a practice or two since we had never seen any of the players or how the coaches coached. I am also absolutely certain this won’t affect my daughter’s sense of right and wrong.
The call with her current coach went well...he was very understanding.

 

[29dad]

Thanks again for all of the responses…they really helped

I decided to let her switch teams.

It came down to what I thought was in her best interest. This is an important developmental year for her since she moves up to 14u next year (and most from the first team will not) and if she craves a greater challenge so she can become a better player then I have to let her. If it were only a Fall commitment or it was during the middle of Spring of course she would have stayed. But we are just two weeks in and waiting until next August to change teams just didn’t make sense.
In hindsight, acceptance should have been contingent on seeing how the fit was after a practice or two since we had never seen any of the players or how the coaches coached. I am also absolutely certain this won’t affect my daughter’s sense of right and wrong.
The call with her current coach went well...he was very understanding.

Andy you sound like a stand up guy and I think you made the right decision. A one time switch after two September practices does not make you a "team jumper," nor does it reflect poorly on your integrity. Wishing you and your daughter much success.

 

[undergroundga]

I know my opinion is contrary to your decision but I know you didn't enter into it likely. A wise man seeks the counsel of others and that you have done. I genuinely wish you and your dd much success.

 

[howellhandmade]

Yes it is ridiculous…utterly –perhaps that was the point.



We were inexperienced, we were scrambling, we made a hasty decision and very soon after realized it wasn’t a good fit and quickly parted ways.

SNIP

Anyone that tells you such things is full of nonsense.

We were young, we were kids, we didn't know what we were doing, we quickly realized our mistake. No harm done.