Should I have done that?

[chinamigarden]

I have been coming to this forum for quite a few years. I have had my share of bad parent moments. I think I might just be entering into a bad coach moment era. Hope you all have a minute for a little story.....

As my DD has grown up and improved as a pitcher, she has developed sort of a cult following in the local rec leagues. Since I have been a coach way before she was even born, I have naturally worked with her on her game. Because of all of the long hours we spent together at the parks, parents have naturally asked about who my DD's pitching coach was. Her answer is always the same. My Dad is my pitching coach. We got to know many of these younger kids and after a while, they asked me to work with their DD. I said no for the longest time. Finally about 3 years ago, I accepted my first girl. I have a very basic set of rules to follow. One of them is there are many pitching coaches and many differing styles. If you don't like me or my style, that is fine. You cannot keep switching between coaches. It will only confuse a player and ultimately hurt their success. Basically, if they pitch for me, I don't want them getting "advice" from any other coach. It has worked really well and at one point I was up to about 11 girls taking lessons.(That was way too many) This one girl came to me who I have known for several years. She was big and strong, but mentally a wreck. She needed help. I started working with her and within a few weeks there was a very obvious difference. She started throwing strikes consistently and winning games in the circle. I could tell the parents were very proud and would talk with anyone who would listen about their DD. Sure enough, a local TB coach got in their ears and convinced them to play on his team. Personally I don't like the guy, but I didn't really care who she pitched for. As long as she pitched. Plays for this team for six months doing fantastic. Suddenly out of the blue, she stops taking lessons from me. I guess my feelings got hurt for whatever reason. Fast forward six months. She is a wreck again. Cannot find the strike zone and mentally she is done. Of course the TB coach kicks her to the curb and she ends up on a different local team. I run into her parents at the park one night and they ask if I have any openings. I tell them I am booked solid and barely have time for the kids I see now. They have called me three or four times to see about an opening. My wife thinks I should have taken her back and helped her. My thought was if the grass looked greener on the other side........Am I a bad person? I currently am working with 6 girls and my DD. That number is perfect. I can get them all in and not feel like it is a second job. The girls I have are all doing great and I don't want to lose any time I could be spending with them. Tough lesson for her parents to learn. We all live with our choices. Is this one going to haunt me?

If the only reason you don't want to work with her is because she left, then thats not a great reason. The kid probably had zero influence on the decision and ultimately she is the one who is hurt. But if you truly have all the students you want to handle at this time and you cannot commit to working with her because of that, then your conscience is clear. Maybe you know another pitching coach who you trust, refer her to that coach.

 

[Sparky Guy]

I would be highly suspicious of pitching instructors that advertise their services.

Why so? Remember. You are from a warm weather state. In the cold weather areas we have to work inside in the winter. That's expensive and it can be hard to get random cage time. Many instructors will work a deal with a facility for a set cage time. The need students to pay for it. Unless they have a waiting list of students, advertising is the best way to build a client base. Granted, word-of-mouth is THE best advertising. However, there are parents out there who do not know anyone in the sport and their child is interested in playing it. So they start looking for help.

What would you do if you were brand new to a city and needed a dentist but did not know anyone well enough to ask for a reference? You'd look at the ads.

 

[CatchTheFever]

Sparky, I get your point with your reference of the reservations, but I don't think OP posted this becasue he doesn't have time to coach this particular individual. If all of his time is being used by current students, than theres nothing to feel bad about. I get the feeling he posted this becasue he is avoiding working with this girl simply because they decided to test the waters with someone else previously. If it was just about his time and availability, this wouldn't have been posted.

 

[Sparky Guy]

Sparky, I get your point with your reference of the reservations, but I don't think OP posted this becasue he doesn't have time to coach this particular individual. If all of his time is being used by current students, than theres nothing to feel bad about. I get the feeling he posted this becasue he is avoiding working with this girl simply because they decided to test the waters with someone else previously. If it was just about his time and availability, this wouldn't have been posted.

You may be right. Only the OP can answer that for sure. My take on the OP is he has things working really well for himself and he feels somewhat obligated to the ex-student but feels she will be a disruption to the current situation. Maybe he's looking for advice for an easy out without completely burning a bridge. The best any of us can do is to guess at this time.

I have quit quit working with one girl over the years because the mom was a complete idiot. Did I like "taking it out" on the girl? NO!! However, there does come a point when you have to ask what's best for me and/or my current students?

That's the great thing about this board. You can get a view on something that you'd never would have thought about on your own.

 

[Sweet Lou]

I get the feeling that the OP never really want to be a PC but got talked into it by some folks he knows pretty well and agreed to do it. It is fully up to him if he wants to take on new students and/or accept former students who left and now want to come back.

To the OP, I'd say if the parents and kid were OK the first time you had them and you have the time to take her on then go for it but tell them if they leave again not to come back a 3rd time.

 

[MNDad]

Why so? Remember. You are from a warm weather state. In the cold weather areas we have to work inside in the winter. That's expensive and it can be hard to get random cage time. Many instructors will work a deal with a facility for a set cage time. The need students to pay for it. Unless they have a waiting list of students, advertising is the best way to build a client base. Granted, word-of-mouth is THE best advertising. However, there are parents out there who do not know anyone in the sport and their child is interested in playing it. So they start looking for help.

What would you do if you were brand new to a city and needed a dentist but did not know anyone well enough to ask for a reference? You'd look at the ads.

I think he's talking more about the advertising content more so that making contact information readily available. I'm in a cold weather state too and several instructors provide contact information on local websites and publications. That's just good business.

One of them advertises that she sends girls to D1 schools every year and the average speed of her graduates is 68 mph. Yeah, I'm a little suspicious there.

 

[riseball]

Why so? Remember. You are from a warm weather state. In the cold weather areas we have to work inside in the winter. That's expensive and it can be hard to get random cage time. Many instructors will work a deal with a facility for a set cage time. The need students to pay for it. Unless they have a waiting list of students, advertising is the best way to build a client base. Granted, word-of-mouth is THE best advertising. However, there are parents out there who do not know anyone in the sport and their child is interested in playing it. So they start looking for help.

What would you do if you were brand new to a city and needed a dentist but did not know anyone well enough to ask for a reference? You'd look at the ads.

Find a dentist from an ad??? No way I would do that. I would get a personal referral from someone. If I am new to a city it is not because I fell off the turnip truck. Someone is paying me to be there. If I know them well enough to bill them, I have no problem asking for a referral.

The very best way to find a pitching coach is to find a kid who throws well and find out who she is working with. It keeps me busy.

 

[Greenmonsters]

...The very best way to find a pitching coach is to find a kid who throws well and find out who she is working with...and confirm that the kid's success is at least in part due to the coach's contribution rather than in spite of it!

slightly modified based on personal experience!

 

[riseball]

Very good point. I would say I stand corrected, but since I am seated with an adult beverage a raise of the glass will have to do.

 

[Sparky Guy]

Find a dentist from an ad??? No way I would do that. I would get a personal referral from someone. If I am new to a city it is not because I fell off the turnip truck. Someone is paying me to be there. If I know them well enough to bill them, I have no problem asking for a referral.

I was not trying to be literal, but more figurative in my example. So I'll change it slightly. You're traveling to a destination in another town. You've had a dental emergency while on the road after checking into a motel for the evening. The only person you "know" is the motel desk clerk. Now try and find a dentist.

The point is some parents do not know where to start. It's easy to make assumptions after you've been down the path and have been lucky enough to be pointed in the right direction early. Not all are as fortunate many of us here on DFP and we can forget that. How many times has a new poster come on here saying how glad they were to have found this site with virtually an unlimited amount of knowledge, advice and experience available to them.